To think DH might get fired?!

[ohgodwhatcanido]

NC for this.

Essentially DH fell asleep ah hour ago after being violently ill all night and morning; I've been sick as well so I think it's a bug. He was off one day last month but hasn't had time off before that for about three months. He asked if I'd call in for him so I did and the conversation went like this:

Him: 'Good morning X speaking how can I help?'
Me: 'Hi there, I'm calling to let you know that X'
Him: 'Sorry, who?'
Me:' Sorry, my line isn't too clear, I was calling to let you know X won't be able to come in this morning. He's been up all night being-'
Him: 'I don't want to hear it thanks, bye'

And then hung up. He didn't even let me explain why and sounded really mad. DH just had his days off for the week so I'm worried they'll think he's playing at it. Am I over thinking it or does this not look good?

Someone else phoning in on behalf of an employee would result in instant dismissal at the office I manage.

I imagine that your employer either settles a lot of tribunal claims, or or else has such a high turnover of staff that no one ever works there long enough to accrue two years' service.

Some people on here are very naive about the ways of modern workplaces and management. In my place, unless it is an medical emergency, you are required to phone in yourself or be logged as an unofficial absence which would trigger disciplinary action.

ohgodwhatcanido First I hope you are both much better.
I am aghast! OK I'm out of date maybe, but all the people saying he has to call himself, I do understand, but his wife was calling as soon as possible because he wasn't well enough to call. The reply on the other end just appalls me! How rude! When you had the grace to try and let them know! If it's in the rules that he phone himself, all they need say is, "Thanks, ask him to give us a call when he can." What kind of work is it? I really am disgusted that this is how they behaved towards an employee's wife. Disgusted. I suppose if you get knocked over by a bus on the way to work you have to call in from your coma in Intensive Care.

I was sick earlier this year up from 1am to 8am at a&e so no way was I going to stay up till 9am till office open. I emailed to say I’d call when I could. They were fine because they know I’m a hard worker and had seen me in pain in the office.

If you are sick, you are sick.

CaaarrrlI appreciate the difficulties of running a school, I was a deputy head in a large school. However, I get very severe and incapacitating migraines. It would be impossible for me sometimes to make a phone call during the height of an attack of a bad migraine. I can neither see, walk nor really move, and I just keep being sick. I imagine in today's world of work I would be unemployed! Luckily I don't get migraines often. But if I'd had the constraints you have to phone in at precise times, it would have been terrible for me! How do you cope? I think this system is bullying people.

Not read the full thread, bit I think it depends on the company. I once worked somewhere that had a points system, each day off and occasion (so 2 days of in 1 go is 2 point, 2 days off on 2 occcasions is 4 points etc) and when you his a pre determined level you got warnings.
Worked well, except when some staff worked out how to "play" the system.

I had 1 day off 4 months running 2 winters ago, i just seemed to catch everything going. Luckly my record up to that point was impecable and managment knew me well enough to know i wasnt just taking days off. Dont think ive had a day off since (18 months ago) other than 1 day my kid was ill and i had no alt child care.

They should look at the overall situation and person and issue a final warning with and explination of x or y will mean P45, unless its gross miss conduct, which can be instant dismissal.

Ellyess. I totally agree with you. I have always been respected at work. I am totally committed and never have come across system based rules on sickness which doesn’t take account of individuals. One size fits all.

Someone else phoning in on behalf of an employee would result in instant dismissal at the office I manage.

cough bullshit cough

God I'm glad I don't work in the UK. We get 24 days of sick leave per year plus another 24 days of child sick leave.

Why would any workplace want to encourage presenteeism and martyrdom. People get ill and ill people shouldn't be at work.

NB I don't think anyone ever actually needs all that but if they do then they do. The year after my DD started nursery we barely ever made it a month between some sort of pestilence striking the household.

I'm not sure I'd phone in for my dh to be honest

God I had a manager like that once. I was suffering massively with Norovirus and my ex called in for me because I was on the toilet with my head in a bucket.

Manager said 'Not Interested' and put the phone down.
So I got ex to call back, put the phone on loud speaker and tried to explain in between retching and the loudest diarrhoea ever that I wouldn't be making it in. He said 'oh, yes, no problem' and changed the policy after that.

I still got the lecture when I went back to work about being ill though. 'I've been running this business for 25 years and have never had a day off sick, I even one came in with pneumonia.'

Okay then

*once

OP, I get that maybe he should have phoned in, as that appears to the the law of the land these days for many companies, but you called in early, so that they knew, you didn't actually get to say anything at all because the manager was an utter twunt. So, all this "he should phone himself" is a whole lot of hot air. Yes, he could have called later, but as it was coming out both ends throughout the night, it was a decent thing for a phone call to be made that informed the boss and that could have been followed up later from the Op's dp.

In all of this, whatever your view on who calls who, even those who think that sickness is a terrible thing and if you're sick more than once in a century you need to be beaten to a pulp - yes exaggerated sarcasm - it is very clear that the manager was an arsehole. If he thinks the dp is lying, fine, but does that give him the right to put the phone down on the Op? None of this is on her. The manager is a shitty little fuck.

ohgodwhatcanido I'm still worried that your week end is being spoiled. I had an incident on Thursday afternoon and evening and am still shaken up so I know how horrible it is to worry all week end.

I wanted to write again to give you support. I don't know if it sounds daft, but I wonder if a letter to the person who was rude to you on the phone saying how upsetting it was and how ill and incapacitated your husband was, and that all you were trying to do was to be helpful, might make you feel better. You could write it, not post it until the working week begins and see how you feel then.

I am sooo shocked that the wife of a sick employee is spoken to like that! There simply is no excuse for that kind of churlish behaviour. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I'm sorry too that some people aren't seeing how hard this is. Most people do but I think some others have such a hard time at their work that it has made them rather harsh in their replies. As for keeping saying "He has to phone himself" that's missing the point! He would do so if he could, but to save time he asked you, I imagine he would have phoned later when the sickness stopped, but he just wanted to be courteous and let his work know sooner than that.
Oh heck! The world is going mad! We should be looking after one another! I do hope you have a good week end. Lots of love to you both!

I agree with Bluntness.

Ravenesque YES! Love your reply! You are a !

Top marks for perspicacity. And for teaching me a new word .. "twunt"
which spell corrector just changed to 'taut' and if twunt is like it's rhyming word beginning with 'c' then , well, mine ain't taut.... 3 children, badly managed deliveries...

I've also found a lot of stuff on this thread quite upsetting. Who needs management when there are so many people happy to think that unfair employment laws/rules are fair and judge others on not coming up to what they see as par.

In an ideal world none of us would ever be sick. We'd get up each morning for work, go to work, come home, have a day or two off work each week and be happy in work and at home. In a less than ideal world, none of us would ever be sick. We'd get up to go to work, some of us happy, some of us hating our jobs, but we'd go, we'd come home, we'd maybe have a happy couple of days off or not. And in both of those worlds we wouldn't be treated as though we were guilty unless we could prove ourselves innocent. Ultimately, by thinking that these rules are fair, what you're saying is that the majority of people are liars and taking the piss. There really is no evidence to suggest that's the case. Some people are more prone to illness, some people are super healthy. Some people do take the piss, but it will become clear who they are and they can be dealt with. Presuming that if you don't have strict rules everyone will take the piss is just horrible.

These rules are not fair, they stress out those who are ill. People who've been off for a couple of days ill and then get ill again are too scared to phone in sick in case they get disciplined. Then they make others ill, and some of them are also scared to take time off sick. People who are genuinely sick, especially those who have something contagious, should not be in a work environment where they are coming into contact with other people.

Christ on a bike, unions in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries who fought so hard for basic workers' rights would turn in their graves if they read some of these comments. Here's thing thing. If you trust and respect people, there is more likelihood that they will reciprocate and you will get the best out of them. Sometimes your trust will be betrayed, but you'll cope and move on. Some people need to have a serious word with themselves.

I'm glad I'm self employed sometimes. When my husband had to take sick leave, I would always have to call in for him because his boss reckoned that if he was well enough to phone in then he was well enough to work. But another employer might insist that the employee phones in themselves because otherwise they might not actually be ill.
You can't bloody win!
OP I hope he is feeling better.

I am obliged to call in myself. The only time someone can call in on my behalf is if I’m unconscious or in surgery. It’s perfectly reasonable for the employer to expect you to call in himself, and they don’t have to listen to you telling them he’s sick.

Aw, thanks Ellyes!

Blimey Ellyess. Slander? @Bluntness you hit a nerve I think!
You power seeking narc!
She’s right, I can’t imagine asking DH to call in for me (unless I was unconscious/hospitalised)
On the rare occasions I’ve been up in the night being ill, I’ve still set an alarm to call Work in the morning.

HarshingMyMellow
I even once came in with pneumonia.'

Euyuk! Doesn't it make you wish you "had even come in with" a nice little pot of a sample of your Norovirus, -maybe not so little a pot.

It's like when I was a week overdue and the Headmaster came to our house in the school and said "In the paddy fields they just squat down and have the baby then go on planting the rice". I thought, yes, and how many of them die?