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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to judge and never talk to his friend again?

45 replies

DrowningEveryDay · 25/05/2018 01:34

He mentioned a website which I was not familiar with. He said basically people post pictures there of exes for revenge. I did not think about it that much until this morning, I remembered the conversation and I googled and found out that it's a very sick website where white supremacists, etc congregate.

I'm very turned off. And I feel so disgusted.

OP posts:
grumpymoominmoo · 25/05/2018 01:39

No. Find new friends and report him (if you can to anyone, isn't revenge stuff a crime now?)

RegionalTreasure · 25/05/2018 01:44

Report him for talking about a website?

Original poster
DrowningEveryDay · 25/05/2018 01:45

Yeah, he just mentioned the website. He did not say he posts there. I don't think he does. Anyway for context, we were talking about the dangers of the Internet. I may be overreacting but I was just really surprised he knew of the website.

OP posts:
araiwa · 25/05/2018 01:51

You know of this website now

Is it ok if i judge you and never talk to you again?

Being aware of its existence is hardly a crime or condoning it- maybe he read about it in a paper and mentioned it as it was relevant to the conversation you were having?

It also seems likely youve got confused as im not aware of much nazi/revenge porn crossover

Your reaction is weird and over the top

Original poster
DrowningEveryDay · 25/05/2018 01:57

Your reaction is weird and over the top

You may be right.

Thanks for the input.

OP posts:
SneakyGremlins · 25/05/2018 01:59

Is it 4chan? See, I know about it if it is. I've never been on it or posted though. Should I still be shunned by everyone? Hmm

Original poster
DrowningEveryDay · 25/05/2018 02:00

Is it 4chan?

No.

But I get your point. Thanks.

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 25/05/2018 02:06

I wouldn't judge him for knowing about it, as other posters have pointed out, we may know ABOUT a lot of dubious things without getting involved.
But I would judge him like crazy if he did actually post on there, or spent every day on that website having a good ol' poke around on it.

So I'd hold off on judging him, but I'd probably try and sound him out carefully about how he knows about it and whether it's a favourite site for him.

Whereismumhiding2 · 25/05/2018 02:09

I think the context of what he said about it is key. Really hard to tell from your OP or update what that was, other than he named a (what turned out to be unpleasant) website in passing.
Now if he said "And these are my people" or "this is my favourite bedtime reading" that'd be crucial information.

grumpymoominmoo · 25/05/2018 02:09

Sorry thought he was posting on it.

If he just knows of it and was in context in a convo where he mentioned it in a way that isn't "there's this fab website, you should use it"

Then I'm not sure why you'd stop talking or judge

Did he give you any impression he's into it?

AnnaBay · 25/05/2018 02:10

I wouldn't judge someone for knowing about something like that.
He may not necessarily have visited the site himself but knew of it through social media, news etc.

Whereismumhiding2 · 25/05/2018 02:11

Cross posted with @ThumbWitchesAbroad
Totally agree.

Original poster
DrowningEveryDay · 25/05/2018 02:13

So I'd hold off on judging him, but I'd probably try and sound him out carefully about how he knows about it and whether it's a favourite site for him.

Ok will do. It just seems like a rather obscure site and he's not even in the IT field so I was just very weirded out why he knows of it, and what's in it.

OP posts:
grumpymoominmoo · 25/05/2018 02:27

Did he just mention the dark web?

londongirl12 · 25/05/2018 02:29

There's been stuff like this in the news recently, as a previous poster said, it's now a crime. So he could have read about someone who was prosecuted in the papers, seen it on the news. I think it depends what he was saying. If he was saying it's a bad thing, then knowing the name of the website doesn't mean he likes it.

RegionalTreasure · 25/05/2018 02:57

Isn't it just likely that he came to know about the website in the same way you did? And consequently we did? You can end up down all sorts of rabbit holes if you potter around the net for entertainment a lot. Which most people do, don't they? How can you be suspicious of someone just because they know about the existence of something dodgy?

mathanxiety · 25/05/2018 03:11

You wouldn't need to be in IT to be aware of particular sites.

A lot of this stuff is in the news - not necessarily broadcast news but news sites online - in relation to current politics in the US, Hungary, etc.

AgentJohnson · 25/05/2018 03:40

It just seems like a rather obscure site and he's not even in the IT field so I was just very weirded out why he knows of it, and what's in it.

Thanks to MN I also know of some pretty 😳 websites which I’ve never googled. I’m quite amused that you think being in an IT field would be the reason to qualify his knowledge.

OP you sound particularly naive if you think that knowing shit, equals participation or agreement.

Lacucuracha · 25/05/2018 04:12

Strange of him to bring up the topic. It could be innocent but he may well get a kick out of seeing all those men 'avenging' themselves on their exes, so I think you're right to be wary, OP. As Thumb says, sound him out on it.

BitOutOfPractice · 25/05/2018 04:44

I've watched s film about drugs trafficking. It doesn't make me a columbian cocaine baron does it?

lljkk · 25/05/2018 04:47

I've heard talk about such websites on BBC. Should I stop listening to BBC?

GalwayWayfarer · 25/05/2018 06:41

In what way did he mention it op? If he was using it as an example of a horrible site that unfortunately exists then it would be very OTT to drop him. Just knowing about the existence of a site doesn't mean he's done anything dodgy in respect of it - someone could have told him about it like he told you.

If, on the other hand, he mentioned it because he thought it was funny or interesting I would be very uncomfortable about it.

NewYearNewMe18 · 25/05/2018 06:44

It just seems like a rather obscure site and he's not even in the IT field so I was just very weirded out why he knows of it, and what's in it.

Thanks to you, half a million non IT employees on MN now know about it

Original poster
DrowningEveryDay · 25/05/2018 06:47

Thanks to you, half a million non IT employees on MN now know about it

Uhm, you still don't know the site.

OP posts:
Original poster
DrowningEveryDay · 25/05/2018 06:48

If, on the other hand, he mentioned it because he thought it was funny or interesting I would be very uncomfortable about it.

He mentioned it very casually.

OP posts: