Ethics regarding Instamums and huns

[BurberryIsSo2000]

Homeisthecalm here, I think it's suitable to start a new ethics thread.

Since clearly, the one from yesterday isn't really about ethics but Clemmie.

Thanks all,

Keep it as nice or as stingy as you like

I'll start off by saying things should be clearly marked 'ad' or 'gifted'

Although the term gifted gives me the rage

hard evidence aside, common sense alone tells you no child would be happy that a photo of them taking a poo was available on social media. That image will be snapchat gold when they go to high school, and their peers get hold of it.

@CowParsley2
My perception of it all is that basically MoD had just had enough. There's been numerous threads on here absolutely slating her and FoD (and some other "instamums"). These threads go back to last year but in the last few months have been worse, and constant.

Some Instagrammers tried to start a campaign against Mumsnet, which MoD supported. It didn't really take off, although there was a lot of negative comments made re Mumsnet in general. She then posted a couple of thingscwhich a few people took offence to and posted negative comments about. Some DM's where MoD had responded were screen shot, there was a lot of bickering then MoD deleted her account.

Re kids pics on Insta, Facebook etc. Many posters on here don't think parents should feature pics of their children on their SM accounts at all full stop. Featuring them as part of an ad or with gifted items is apparently absolutely abhorrent and akin to child abuse.

It’s obviously no where near that but people can still consider whether it’s a good idea to use children as the main or sole content in an account

In public accounts

*@nipersvest
*
hard evidence aside, common sense alone tells you no child would be happy that a photo of them taking a poo was available on social media. That image will be snapchat gold when they go to high school, and their peers get hold of it.

Re the above, I honestly doubt that MoD, FoD or their kids will still be in the public eye in 5/10 years time. Even if they are I'm doubtful that any of the twins peers would have the inclination to print of a pic of them on a potty aged 2. Even if they did, so what!! It's a pic of a toddler on a potty.

Have none of you been to wedding do's where there's been embarrassing old photo's or a slideshow of the bride and groom? Do you think they have a breakdown because their friends have seen a pic of them naked on the beach aged 3? It's just ridiculous.

My children's school post photo's of the kids doing various activities on Twitter. The children, when older could feel embarrassed about these, so should they be banned from posting them?

do you have a teenager? or any experience of high school? it can be brutal, kids can be brutal. It doesn't matter if they are still in the public eye in the future, although given the time and effort being put in to building the MOFOD brand, and how lucrative instagram has turned out to be for some, there's quite a big chance they will still be around.

If its out there on the web, people can still find it, if they choose to go looking. Some of your posts Sofia, you come across as a bit naive. Yes, its nice to think everyone might have the same morals as you do, but its unrealistic.

Even if any of the above did bother me I still wouldn't choose to target a small minority of "Instamums" for doing it and post endless threads about it. There are so many other bloggers, Instamums, Youtubers etc who also feature their kids and aren't great with disclosure yet the same few are targetted on here, it's bizarre.

Agree with this.

I think it's a lovely post.

Is that the one of a picture of her and supportive words said? If so I thought that was nice too.

Yes, it was a nice post.

But it was also a massively nauseating sales pitch.

Sofia, this argument tends to go round and round on these threads.

You don't see a problem - in the present or potentially in the future - about an individual's right to privacy, ownership of their identity and control of online footprint. Many of us do. Many of us have teenage children who absolutely back that up.

The fact is, the instaparents don't know how their children will feel about it in a few years' time, when they are struggling with issues around image and self-definition and separating themselves off from their parents, as all teenagers must do.

It's a massively important aspect of modern parenting, and therefore absolutely appropriate for discussion on a site like MN. The fact that many MN users are intelligent, articulate critical thinkers makes the discussion interesting and relevant, though undoubtedly uncomfortable to those who have gone down this very public path.

do you have a teenager? or any experience of high school? it can be brutal, kids can be brutal.

I actually agree with this. Pause for thought.
Have a high school teen here. Quite a timely thing for you to post this actually, as just the other day I noticed a couple of new IG followers (I'm not a big IGer, before anyone says anything) and it was a few of his classmates.
When mentioned it to him, he rolled his eyes and said "oh yeah, they sometimes look to see what you're posting and have a laugh"
To which I was but if they want to screenshot pictures of my random garden pictures etc, go for it lol
It actually reminded me of on here a bit too, as that's what this thread does to big accounts. Literally an adult version of high school on these threads it seems.
Watches, screenshots, criticises parenting, it must feel so much more like a threat mass scale like that.
Anyway! Made me think I'm glad I don't have pictures going back years of full on faces of kids etc, potentially embarrassing pictures,as that could be a source of embarrassment/bullying.
Food for thought.

@CadyHeron

Yeah, I thought FoDs pic of Clemmie and what he's wrote is lovely. Going by the comments so do many others.

I don't think it's a sales pitch, I just assumed it was their way of acknowledging what has happened and expect MoD to be back on Insta shortly.

I'm not naive at all. I'm just happy with my life, confident in myself and couldn't give a shit how others live their lives. I personally am too lazy to put the required hours in to create a money making Insta account (I'm also too boring to be of any interest to anyone). However, I think good on them to the people that have.

So glad for Absinthe and other posters who are giving thought to this

It’s nothing to do with happiness for me (I am) but an interest in what’s happening and what is likely to effect the next generation including my children

Is it good? Will it get worse?

Even if all the comments from so many people are just people musing in the topic of privacy etc it’s still been useful for me to consider it

I don't think it's a sales pitch, I just assumed it was their way of acknowledging what has happened and expect MoD to be back on Insta shortly.

Same. Although, even if with cynical head on it was, who cares? They're not advertising anything, it doesnt' need to be #ad or #spons.....
I don't think they can win in this situation.

• Don't acknowledge the fact she's felt the need to shut down her account, it'd be why hasn't he even mentioned it?
• do acknowledge the fact, it's he's only doing it as a sales pitch! Seeing as they as a family post, well duh. Course he's going to mention it.

I have an almost teen dd. I agree secondary school (and actual primary also sometimes) can be brutal. There have always been bullies and there always will be. Child actors and models sometimes get bullied at school because of what they do. Most of you on these threads had no issues with parents allowing their children to model (as obviously modelling agencies will put the children's best interests first and are not just after making a profit at all ).

We can't go back in time, SM is massive and will probably only get bigger. You can choose not to feature your kids and educate them re online safety etc. However it's difficult to prevent a 14 year old from setting up their own SM Accounts, they'll want one as their friends have them. I've seen pics some 12/15 year olds post, some of the girls look about 18 and like they're off out clubbing. I'd rather my dd didn't use SM till she's 16, but realistic enough to know that she'll most likely be younger.

If bullies want to bully someone they'll find a reason.

When my kids were at primary school, in year 6 they always do a trip to a place called 'the warning zone'. It covers drugs, fire, train tacks, safety around deep water, lots of life skills. They have recently added a new area to it covering e-safety. The oversharing by instagram influencers/instamums etc regularly breaks every single rule the kids were warned about within the e-safety bit.

@cadyheron regarding your point with your son and your account. This has happened to me and made me reflectvand think about my accounts and what I post. That's no bad thing, it is out there forever. And if it is like this on a lesser scale, it's good for thought. It's not threatening, it's one of the side effects of sharing your life and in some cases oversharing. There's nothing wrong with reassessing and being more careful. If we on a small scale expose parts of our lives and can feel uncomfortable (maybe not the right word for you) when it's scrutinised I imagine the scale of a large account it's actually part necessity to reassess and evaluate what is shared? Like yourself I was able to conclude that my IG is fairly harmless and unidentifiable but still, it made me think.

They are advertising something. It is an advert for the MOFOD brand. The brand took a hit, MOD withdrew. Before she comes back, they are posting a bit of PR, its textbook.

@nipersvest

My DD's primary has had a few sessions re online safety. They have the police come in to give a talk about it. She and her friends all have iPhones and use FaceTime and group messages. I regularly read through them to check they're are not being nasty or discussing anything inappropriate.

I have made my dd very aware re the dangers of chat rooms, how selfie's posted on SM are often airbrushed and not realistic and that SM in general is mostly not a true reflection of peoples lives.

At the end of the day all you can do is educate your children. If you ban them from SM they will probably feel left out as the majority of teens do use SM.

@sofialemon your selective, over generalising recaps of previous threads and comments is often not a very good account of the discussions that took place.

@cadyheron regarding the ever tedious OD's. They will win and if you don't think it's strategic and for monetary gain, why on earth would she bother 'coming back'? She has a gorgeous family, home, a fulfilling and professional job. She can even have 3 days a week with children in nursery to write books. She does not need to come back at all. If something had had such a huge negativity be impact on my life and I had everything that this lady does, I would delete Instagram and enjoy my life. So the only reason for this 'big' comeback, is money and fame and adoring fans. It is literally to resume instafame.
His post was careful and calculated (I'm sure not in an evil way!) and it still makes me feel a bit sorry for him that yet again his wife has managed to absorb all his own book tour and his turn at the limelight!! And yet that's in contrast to me finding the fact he solely based his book and account on his children...
of course it's all simply for financial gain.

Even if it was an "advert for the MODFOD brand", so what?

That was to nipers by the way, the thread's moving fast.

Been following these for ages. recent NC. Really wouldn't be surprised if the latest post was proofed by their PR. As said before here and on other threads, time for them to cough up for a) full time PR input and b) mods on the comments. They don't have it in them to manage the accounts now - and why should they? Haven't got the marketing/PR/journalist backgrounds. The Brand has dwarfed the accounts. @boredandtired I'd say they need to work and she needs to get back on SM to earn... they'll have a mortgage. £800k houses don't pay for themselves!

Of course it’s a sales pitch, it is a sale to the fans and to the brands.
Ie Hey brands we are still here, look at how our fans are missing us...get in quick for your summer holiday promotion..we are in demand.
Hey Fans we are back, keep liking us so we can have free holidays and if you get spotted by us you might get enough likes to be like us...let’s all promote each other ( but we are always going to be top of the tree!)

Mod behaved badly, there are screen shots which showed this behaviour. However I do think the pressure of trying to stay at the top whilst promoting the kids less les to some of that pressure. She wrote some terrible posts as did her fan girls...who were out of control.
I would not want it out myself back in that place again, I would back out and enjoy my lovely family. There is one reason why she is back....money and adoration.