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Original poster

Ethics regarding Instamums and huns

999 replies

BurberryIsSo2000 · 24/05/2018 17:14

Homeisthecalm here, I think it's suitable to start a new ethics thread.

Since clearly, the one from yesterday isn't really about ethics but Clemmie.

Thanks all,

Keep it as nice or as stingy as you like Grin

I'll start off by saying things should be clearly marked 'ad' or 'gifted'

Although the term gifted gives me the rage

OP posts:
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10
CadyHeron · 30/05/2018 13:53

As a previous poster said, mortgages don''t pay themselves. It's a form of income.Of course a reason she'll want to come back is money.
Why shouldn't she? Also kind of strange to say she should be "enjoying her lovely family."
I'm sure she does already enjoy her lovely family.
Just because they enjoy things differently to you, doesn't make them wrong.

Boredandtired · 30/05/2018 13:59

@cadyheron yet again a purposeful misinterpretation. Clearly the intonation of the post, was that if SM had affected my life to such a degree that I had to come off and then appear in my husband's posts looking sad and awkward, whilst the message was put out that (partly by myself) that I'd been bullied and targeted, I would personally put my health and family before SM. and just enjoy the amazing life I already had. This is not saying she doesn't enjoy her family 🙄 Although from her oversharing she didn't seem to spend a huge amount of time with them.

lastnightidreamtofpotatoes · 30/05/2018 14:00

I've been watching FOD's account to wait for the re-entrance of MOD. She has been featuring quite heavily in his squares/stories and the gushing post yesterday was most definitely a PR stunt to pull back the theatre curtains. I'm sure they had help with weaving MN 'the baddies' in amongst Clemmie the light of the world. Praising other people just isn't FOD's natural style of writing. I'm quite indifferent to the pair of them but this just highlights the business nature of the squares.

Boredandtired · 30/05/2018 14:04

It's so frustrating as a discussion because they are ultimately so dull. But it endlessly goes round in circles but it is clear at the bottom of all of this is money and financial gain, and there are the posters who keep saying why does it always comment back to those 2? And it's because they are the most successful in this category and making the most financial gain and for all the fawning fans, the only reason they are doing it is for money, and the only reason the kids are on there is for money and yet people keep coming on and saying why are these accounts discussed?
I follow loads of accounts that don't get discussed because they aren't promoting a brand and trying to monetise their families.

nipersvest · 30/05/2018 14:06

I agree Cady, so what. It makes no difference to my day what they do. It does highlight how and why instagram influencing has grown so huge so quickly, most of the followers aren't even aware they are being advertised to (FOD's post is an example)

And that brings you back to the start of these threads in the first place, and the need for honesty.

AbsintheFriends · 30/05/2018 14:10

I got drawn in almost by accident Martha but find it really, really interesting and always enjoy your posts.

I don't follow the accounts that have been prominently mentioned here, but have checked them out to see what's going on. My interest comes from a combination of a media background and a houseful of daughters who have grown up in the age of SM. There's 7 years between my oldest and my youngest and the difference in the way they each perceive and use SM is massive. It has made me realise that we're all just part of a sweeping social/psychological experiment in this area and no one really knows what the long term impact will be. By the time clear evidence emerges, it may have come at a high cost.

One thing's for certain, asking questions and raising potential negatives isn't necessarily motivated by jealousy and having a 'sad little life' Grin

AbsintheFriends · 30/05/2018 14:13

(sorry - got distracted while writing that and thread has moved on a lot!)

Boredandtired · 30/05/2018 14:18

@absinfriends yes to this. And each child is different. One of mine is following a career where it's likely due to the nature she will need to use SM and promote herself and put stuff out there, which is a) ultimate why she wants to be in control of her own footprint on the internet and b) why as things change and move so rapidly we need to be aware of this ever changing internet and online presence we/they have.
I think for posters to say there's no evidence that these children exposed on their parents accounts will have any mental health impact is beyond naive and I can only imagine it's because they do it themselves (on a lesser scale) and either haven't yet or don't have to answer to it.
The photos out there pre-braces and styled hair and larking about had a massive impact on my teens that I myself had not foreseen. Each child is different.

CadyHeron · 30/05/2018 14:18

One thing's for certain, asking questions and raising potential negatives isn't necessarily motivated by jealousy and having a 'sad little life

Agree, there's nothing wrong with questioning or raising points.
When it goes to stuff being posted like "look at meeee, I want more free stuff" I think it says more about you (general you) than it does about IGers.
Nothing about ethics and just comes across as bitter.

CadyHeron · 30/05/2018 14:22

Although from her oversharing she didn't seem to spend a huge amount of time with them

Confused How on earth can you know how much time she does or doesn't spend with her children from a snapshot of life shown on IG?
Hmm

jamoncrumpets · 30/05/2018 14:29

I wonder if the applause will be quite as rapturous as they think it will when The Temporarily Deleted One returns...

jamoncrumpets · 30/05/2018 14:35

My DH loves me. Adores me in fact. And if he perceived me to be under attack from others he would encourage me to ignore them and focus on what's good in my life. And he'd defend me if he felt it was necessary.

What he would not, will not, ever do is then publicly post a big picture of my face and wang on about what a hard time I'd been having and how bloody brilliant I am. Because he wouldn't need to, he would have already said it to my face, privately.

It's all just egos. You love your wife, good for you. Thousands of millions of men do. Why would anybody else in the world care about this except the two of you? What purpose does this post serve?!

nipersvest · 30/05/2018 14:38

Jam, probably, I suspect she may come back with a more curated feed, they'd be daft not to archive some of the more recent contentious posts given the NMC comment.

Fivelittleduckies · 30/05/2018 14:41

Just a quick question for everyone that relentlessly criticizes everything that these influencers do - can they do anything that won’t incite hateful criticism from you?

It seems no matter what they do you judge and criticize them. You speak as though you know much better than everyone else but over thousands of comments across many threads it’s mostly just snarky bitchiness directed at specific individuals.

I’m baffled at why you spend so much of your time arguing on these threads about people you seem to despise so much? Ironically it’s you fik give these influencers a more prolific platform to stand on ... Wink

CadyHeron · 30/05/2018 14:42

Jamoncrumpets - as you're no doubt well aware, they are a family that they put out there, they are the brand.
Which by default means they live their life on IG so every day stuff like that is posted.
Why would anybody else in the world care about this except the two of you
Why indeed, but people obviously do.
You don't have to like it of course.
Thousands obviously do like this sort of content though.

Fivelittleduckies · 30/05/2018 14:42

*who

Boredandtired · 30/05/2018 14:44

@Today 14:22 CadyHeron

Although from her oversharing she didn't seem to spend a huge amount of time with them

confused How on earth can you know how much time she does or doesn't spend with her children from a snapshot of life shown on IG?

Conveniently you copying and pasting blocks it all so the fact that I put seem in block is no longer visible 🙄 Given that prior to unfollowing I was privy to the weekly work plan/childcare routine, nights out, book tours, time away, hotel stays, weekends in Spain, it did seem from what was posted and given children's bedtimes that she didn't spend a huge amount of time with them. I hardly think her sharing was a snapshot...
and for someone who doesn't like discussing them you keep the conversation fairly focused on them...

Sofialemon · 30/05/2018 14:44

Although from her oversharing she didn't seem to spend a huge amount of time with them

 How on earth can you know how much time she does or doesn't spend with her children from a snapshot of life shown on IG?


Agree with your above comment @CadyHeron. It's the constant petty digs like that (and worse) that I have found unnecessary on all of these threads.

nipersvest · 30/05/2018 14:46

I suspect I may view the MOFOD's differently to most, I've worked running sm accounts, I run dh's, so have spent time analysing the way instagram works. When you use instagram for work rather than social, you have to pull apart every image and everything you write, the same way an editor would with a book or article, before hitting that post button.

Sofialemon · 30/05/2018 14:48

@Fivelittleduckies

Just a quick question for everyone that relentlessly criticizes everything that these influencers do - can they do anything that won’t incite hateful criticism from you?

No, I really don't think they can. I have no idea why some posters on here use SM at all tbh. They just don't seem to get it.

CadyHeron · 30/05/2018 14:50

Same, @sofialemon. That's exactly the type of inane digs that have nothing to do with discussion and everything to do with projecting and/or speculating on a person's parenting solely through seeing some photographs on social media.

jamoncrumpets · 30/05/2018 14:51

I absolutely 'get it' and find it distasteful.

CadyHeron · 30/05/2018 14:54

Boredandtired- your words, you said the exact words. Whether seem was in bold or not doesn't make an iota of difference.
OK, then -
Although from her oversharing she didn't seem to spend a huge amount of time with them

How did she not seem to spend time with her children? How can you tell how much time she spends with her children just from seeing some photos she puts up?

Boredandtired · 30/05/2018 14:55

@cadyheron @sofialemon and there's an example of selective copying and pasting making the content look different, to suit your viewpoint.
That's the whole danger of putting your life out on SM. people may comment or worse make assumptions based on what you choose to share, which is why you need to be careful.
CadyHeron copied some text, changed the way it read in doing so, and then Sofia's copied what Cady copied... to make out it was a dig. It wasn't. It was answering an initial comment by CadyHeron 🙄

ABuckToothedGirlinLuxembourg · 30/05/2018 14:56

I told myself I wouldn’t get involved in these threads again, as the insta/ mumsnet battle had all got a bit spiteful on both sides. People being called fucking pricks and liars, mentioning stabbing.....coupled with the level of unwavering obsession on here towards certain accounts. It didn’t sit well with me. I’d actually started to feel sorry for some of them. The scrutiny must be difficult.

But...aren’t they going to tell the truth about where it all went wrong? That the lollipop post caused this? That snidey DM’s were sent? Are they really going to let mumsnetters take the blame?