Instamums in the Telegraph

[caperberries]

Is there a new thread about this?

Has cady passed the baton over sophielemon? I wondered when you would pop on in.

susieV -respect, good dialogue and good accountability.

The problem with email/text/posting on social media is that everyone can jump on a comment and completely misconstrue it (even the obviously sarcastic ones). Use your brains, guys. It. Was. A. Joke.

Do you not put any photo's of your kids on your SM?

Not for money I don't, no.

What comment are you talking about was a joke @timetogetanewfence?
SusieV's cut comment in stories or the poster whose name I don't know who said she'd do stabbing today on IG.

@RandomWordsStuckTogether ahh, but do you anyway, even if not for money? What about parading your kids on social media in general? Then what? Where is the line drawn on child protection laws? Even if your profile is private, Instagram is owned by FB, and FB still owns that photo if its on there.

Honestly. This is all so ridiculous. You can pick holes in just about anything to prove the point that only you want to prove. (you, in the general sense)

Sofia I see your point and I have decided to try to stick to generalities in public discussion here to keep it helpful and to avoid provoking instagram hordes. Tricky when there are actual threats of violence but then I spoke only about what was said and not who said it.

I don’t think the baby can be thrown out with the bath water in that a lot of comments in these threads are actually not awful comments or picking apart one person. It is a wide ranging conversation. Personally I’ve learnt from it - knowing how to report to ASA and actually deciding to try to speak generally rather than specifically, perhaps being more aware of the affect of the feeling of criticism from instamums regardless of my feeling that criticism is justified in the case of businesses (which I stand by). And MP and others seem to have learnt or to have engaged to narrow the divide so certainly it has been constructive for me and I’d argue for some others.

I mix with loads of different people from all different backgrounds and that's such a common thing to say if you're defending someone or annoyed, and trying to make light of it. 'Oh man, I just wanna murder my husband'.

Well, yeah, except I thought the mantra of Instagram is 'be kind, keep it cute or put it on mute' or whatever. It seems that only applies to certain people, other people can say what they want and are not ever allowed to be called out on it.

Anyway, Susie V has already admitted that her 'I will cut them' comment was out of line and has been a good egg about it.

I'm not interested in engaging with the likes of Sofia, who just want to stoke fires and rehash previous points, when we've got so many people on here wanting to discuss social media in a polite and adult way. Honestly don't have anything new or particularly interesting to say right now, so ducking out until I feel I can be of value to this discussion. Maybe some others (hi Sofia) would like to join me?

Yay! Now the gangs altogether again.

Sofia's here to give us a lecture about pulling people apart on Instagram whilst calling us all bitches, and to tell us to unfollow the Instamums if we don't like what we see whilst she simultaneously follows these threads but yet professes to have no interest in them.

time I think most of us appreciate it was a joke. But also some people feel some subjects ought not to be joked about (in a public or professional setting such as Instagram, at least). You are of course also entitled to feel those subjects aren’t off limits. #sisterhood #womensupportingwomen

Yay, Sofia is back! This is really the only reason I read these threads. For Sofia and cady. Passing the baton back and forth.

Ha! Just seen that someone else said the same thing!

the mantra of Instagram is 'be kind, keep it cute or put it on mute' or whatever

It's not though, is it, let's be real here. People need to convey their criticisms/opinions/passionate thoughts in a rational, non-judgemental way. Which is hard for some people to do, on both sides of the fence (influencer and commenter). That's the point. Not just to shut up and be kind. People are saying 'BE KIND', as in... 'GIVE YOUR OPINIONS AND THOUGHTS KINDLY, DON'T ACT LIKE A JUDGEMENTAL W*NKER'.

Me too ISayOldChap I don’t get how we’re not all thinking about what’s going on and what kind of future we want for our dc online

Also many of my friends err towards privacy. Even those with extravagant lifestyles. Family too. We text and email pics. If I don’t see / know the person then I don’t need people to like photos of my dc.

time be kind and give me an answer to my Q of whose comment you meant. Please.

@Gobbolinothewitchscatgenuinely?!? Jesus. I mix with loads of different people from all different backgrounds and that's such a common thing to say if you're defending someone or annoyed, and trying to make light of it. 'Oh man, I just wanna murder my husband'. Come on now. Don't be purposefully obtuse.

No. Maybe your cohort of friends isn't as diverse as you think.

@TireSwing

I personally feel that numerous threads full of digs and nasty personal comments about various instagrammers (and their children) is being bitchy. It's just unnecessary. I find that kind of bitchiness worse than obviously taking the piss throwaway comments about cutting, stabbing etc.

Abuck it means the threads can go on forever, lucky was getting hard to keep going

Still missing the last two thread starters though!

So time you would say that any time a question or a criticism has been made on IG and it has received a negative response from the influencer or her/his followers, it has been judgmental or unkind? I don’t think that’s the case.

@ScipioAfricanus we've all said much worse in real life in a professional setting, so not sure why Instagram is seen as the battleground. Probably because it's a digital platform and people can't get eachother's tone. I get it. But it was obviously a joke and people can get offended by it, but they don't need to immediately jump on the person and call the digital police.

Fair play whichever one of you is on that tmwc thread and volunteered to chat about it with the poster. I don't want to name you for fear of lurkers here turning on you (for nothing, of course)

Sofia - harsh, come on. This is discussion. This is current affairs to a degree. Are we not allowed to talk about it?

Anything horrid has been reported by a lot of people on here. And people do genuinely want to discuss the ethics etc. The children being on social media is very much a topic we should all be discussing. On here, to our children, to our peers, to our family.

I agree though that the thread often steers to one family - a very prominent family in the world of what we are discussing, so that is inevitable. And I do think that that person's actions have played a part there.

Not a single instamum mentioned on here deserves abuse and it isn't the people on here doling it out. Likewise, people disagreeing with instamums don't deserve abuse either.

@susie3milo cheers for coming on and facing this well. If you could post more pics of Greg half naked, that would be fantastic*

*sorry

I agree, Scipio on one level I could see it was intended as a joke (even if the delivery wasn't particularly jokey and it wasn't funny in any case), but I don't think normalising that kind of language is in any way appropriate and yes, I was shocked to hear someone say it because I have never heard anyone make a joke about knifing someone before. I don't want to dwell on this point because Susie has engaged really positively on the thread, but I think it's pretty indefensible. That's the last I'm going to say on it.

Oh - and you diidn't answer my question. What is your view on the stabbing comments?

@Gobbolinothewitchscat oh okay, hun. You win. Of course.

See, this is the problem. People want other people to act "just like them', and when they don't, they get aggro, instead of having a wider perspective.

@timetogetanewfence since reading these threads I've personally shut down Facebook and any photos on Instagram that have my children in are back of head shots. My name is not on the account, their are no photos of myself and my username is not my real name, itsca username.
You don't joke about cutting people, it's not funny or appropriate, and even the person who said it has agreed and with good grace come on here and been very relatable and pleasant.
The behaviour on Instagram has been so awful recently from many accounts. It's uncomfortable to watch many stories and read the comments. It seems to me that you can pick holes in anything if you choose.