Is Fortnite ruining anyone else's family?

[fortnitenightmare]

And devices in general?

We have 1 Xbox, 4 kids.

The older 2 bicker and argue about it constantly. They're like ogres when they can't go on it and ogres when they've been in it. And how very dare I interrupt a game with 'time's up!' Or 'dinner'. They're limited to 45 mins each, they have to take turns. They're addicted to it. Just one more...

It's ruining our family.

We:
Limit time spent on it
They have to earn time on it
Make them share
Warn them before stopping games

I have unpleasant children and it's really getting me down. They live for it. They're not allowed any other form of social media, and I get they they want to play/interact with their peers so I'd rather not ban it completely BUT we're running out of ideas of how to stop it ruining our family. I also hate the fact people can 'listen in' to our family life.

Have you got similar problems? How do you manage this addiction?

Sad 😞

eolian very few 10 year olds would police themselves in that way. Beyond that, how is that NOT parenting? He knows that if he acts like a dick, you'll ban him...so...? Not sure of your point tbh. Many parents on here are being too weak to ban their kid.

Bear in mind also that as well as the addictive side of the game being discussed here, the NSPCC have put out a warning about grooming using this game.

We really trusted our 12 yr old ds but ended up taking the headphones away from him after overhearing inappropriate conversations being instigated by strangers. We didn't realise that online chat could still continue on the screen and have now disallowed the game altogether to protect him.
There are many articles online with worried parents having the same problem.

Feenie, ICantCopeAnymore, you two need to get a room.

And to add to parents who feel it has changed their dc's behaviour. This has definitely been so in our household. School even said in a report they had noticed a change since Christmas which ties in with him getting the game.
It only took a few days without it and now he is back to playing outside and being more considerate.

1. My lessons include dance moves and the measurement of buildings. They are accessible to all children, even those who have never played the game. All my lessons are accessible to everyone and tailored to individuals too. I pride myself on it.
   Surely it's possible to teach lessons on dance moves, etc, without referring to Fortnite and further excluding those children who you say are already feeling upset and left out? I would much rather pride myself on that.

2. The children in the playground can't access conversations about the ACTUAL GAME, not dance moves or measurements. That has nothing to do with me, nor the content of my lessons and is completely unavoidable.
   I didn't once say they could.

3. The game is a 12, due to online chat capabilities, not content. The online chat can be disabled, making it safe for children to play. This has been explained to you a few times, by me and others. If you can't understand that by now, after commenting about it on multiple threads, I'm not sure what else anyone can say.

But you're not actually around in each child's house to personally disable everyone's chat facility, are you?

4. You're clearly not a gamer, or knowledgeable about any aspects of gaming at all. I'd suggest that you gain some experience before making repeated, inane comments. I'd also suggest that you take a look at the plentiful research out there that proves the benefit of playing computer games. It's very interesting and it sounds like you need to gain some perspective.

Sure - with age appropriate games, that's absolutely fine. Not so with inappropriate ones.

I think the social element of the game is a major problem. My boys are in year 6 and most of the other kids don't do social media yet, but do play fortnite and chat most evenings. Our rule at home is gaming only on Friday/weekends/holidays and only for up to an hour at a time.

At school, cliques have been formed by kids that are playing together online every night. I don't want my kids to feel excluded from what is effectively online parties/playdates so I've compromised on how much they are allowed to play.

I wish it didn't exist. I know the boys are more "hyped up" during playing and I don't like that it is such an instant gratification. But it exists and banning them altogether is going to be counterproductive.

Peppermintpatsy, do you think some primary lessons should be planned around aspects of Fortnite?

My 10 year old plays. He was told before I downloaded it that if he became obsessive it would be deleted from the PlayStation - which is mine. He is generally allowed to play one night a week and at weekends, and has been really good about it. He has nagged a couple of times, but we've stuck to our guns (so to speak)

One thing I haven't liked, however, is the constant nag to buy "upgrades", and this is one thing we have had arguments about. I have let him once spend £7.99 to show him the fact that once he has the fantastic amazing upgrade there will be another the next week, and another the week after, so he's achieving nothing more than pumping money into nothing. That gave him more understanding - but as his personality is to splurge any money that happens to be in his pocket without considering saving or research, then this is happening in all aspects of life anyway.

Both mine play Fortnite a lot, they are self-regulated and have their own XBoxes. There has been no dramas with it and they've made friends via Fortnite (from school) that they also now meet up with for cinema, pizza etc, so it doesn't get any complaints from me. I think it's good because they are thinking about careers and IT/software is a good one.

However, if something is causing a lot of aggro I'd simply remove it and say "Sorry, but it turns you into monsters so I have sold it" and then sell it. Keep it in the loft or car boot until sold. Yes they will scream, cry, have tantrums but once they realise it's a done deed you will have regained control as the parent. I did this for some huge remote controlled truck thing my parents gave them when they were younger (it became something for them to control and take off the other rather than enjoy playing with). Sold. Obviously they were shocked, but they learnt a lesson.

I'd buy another x-box. No doubt I will be roasted for that, but I would. I think it would be a positive thing in that you're acknowledging their interest in it and making it easier for them to play it and you can use that as leverage when controlling their time on it; how can you be unreasonable when you're actually made it easier for them play it? You can still restrict time on it though I would give them longer than you currently are, being too restrictive regarding consoles is responsible for half the battles imvho; creating a sense of urgency and panic around their gaming time that just doesn't need to be there.

That's what we've done, MsGame. I, DH and DS have our own Xboxes and other Consoles. DH a PS4, DS a Switch and me a Wii U because Zelda. It's much better and means we can all play together.

Bloody hell Feenie don't involve me! I was just trying to unsuccessfully defuse the tension. I've seen this spat on two threads now...

Dd is a Nintendo fiend, so she has a WiiU and a Switch and swaps between them. Ds has a PS3 still as he prefers the games but I am going to surprise him with a PS4 for Christmas. I have a PS3 but use it purely to play DVDs as most games give me migraines . Both children have IPads and dd uses hers to play Roblox and MSP. I don't restrict screen time, never have, we are a very active, outdoorsy family and get out and about loads. At weekends and holidays they have a list of stuff they have to do, once that's done they can be on their screens as much as they want. It works for us.

It isn't a spat - it's an issue that's genuinely up for discussion - sorry, I didn't mean to aim in at you exclusively - should aspects of Fortnite be used in primary school lessons?

I'm afraid I'm not going to be bullied off a thread because another (deleted) poster says so. This is an adult discussion board.

@Snowysky20009 Atari? Which Atari console do your kids have? Lynx? Jaguar? Or all the way back to the VCS / 2600?

That post is vile, and I've reported it.

What a shame this issue can't be sensibly debated.

Don't worry, Feenie. You've already been reported. I don't take kindly to accusations of bullying. Heated discussion is normal, it's Mumsnet. Accusing someone of bullying is disgusting behaviour.

I didn't think there was bullying going on? You both seem to be holding your own. Tbh I haven't read yours or ICCA's latest posts.

Broadly, since you ask, I'm not against certain 'different' methods in the classroom if they engage the children. That's all I will say on the subject though.

Talking about creaming knickers is a bit much tho and no of course fortnite should not be introduced to kids at school.

I wondered how long it would be, before you chipped in, Lethal

Oh apologies. It's in Grease, "the chicks'll cream" and people let their children watch it and sing along. I thought we were grown ups.