Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make a complaint about the bus driver?

129 replies

PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 13:21

I'm really upset Sad I got on the bus but there was a man in a mobility scooter so no space for my son's pushchair so I put him by the door.

At the next stop the driver said "young lady, you can't leave it there, you'll have to fold it or get off the bus." I said that I would fold it and got DS out, a lady said she would hold him for me so I passed him to her and started to fold up the chair. The driver drove off, so I said that he'd have to wait, but he just ignored me, so I sat down and took DS back.

At the next stop, the driver was really arsey and said that I had to get off the bus or fold it, so I said that I was folding it but he drove off & I can't do it while the bus is moving. I said that I'll fold it, but he has to wait, which he wasn't happy with. The lady held DS again and I folded it up and put it on the luggage rack, and said to the driver "a bit of patience never hurt anyone" to which he said that I needed to get some manners?!?!

Anyway, I really hurt my back and now can barely move. I was on my way to a play group and then was going to see my friend, but I'm just going home instead. DP is going to leave work early as I'm not sure how I'm going to care for a young baby (lifting in and out of cot etc) in this much pain.

I could hear other passengers talking to their companions, saying "how did he expect her to do that? What if she'd fallen and smashed her face?" and saying that he was really disrespectful. I'm not unhappy at being asked to fold the pushchair, but wibu to make a complaint about the way the driver spoke to me?

OP posts:
BitchQueen90 · 21/05/2018 14:52

Entitled women with buggies on buses are my pet peeve.

If you are going to be using a bus you need to get an east lightweight pushchair. Fold it before you get on the bus so you're ready to go and always move for wheelchair users. Being held up because somebody is faffing about with a pram is annoying. If you don't like it then drive.

And fwiw I am a non driver and so have done many bus trips over the years with DS from birth. I have never once made a big issue of it.

LadyDeadpool · 21/05/2018 14:52

If you're going to quote health and safety about the bus moving how about the health and safety of your pram blocking the aisle and exit? I only used buses when mine were babies and I always made sure that I brought buggies that were small and easy to fold because of that.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 21/05/2018 14:56

He sounded like he was being a bit arsey, he could have waited 10 seconds while you folded the pram.

LighthouseSouth · 21/05/2018 15:00

"but allowing buggies to use the wheelchair space has created the expectation that their entitlement is somehow equal to that of wheelchairs. "

yes, I don't understand why this started. Also I don't understand the cult of enormous prams which I think is a factor. I'm old enough to remember small ones which collapsed with a lever but I gather they do still sell them?

in my part of London, it's not the norm to fold buggies any more sadly. It definitely was, but no longer. Also some of the buses are being redesigned for 2 wheelchairs or more standing space but some people honestly seem to think they are there for the buggies.

we need a clear ruling from TFL/all bus companies, and clearer than the current "priority" thing.

fruitbrewhaha · 21/05/2018 15:07

I don't think YWBU.

Buses jolt around as they're driven, he needed to hang on for less than a minute for you to fold it down.

pigmcpigface · 21/05/2018 15:18

"If you are going to be using a bus you need to get an east lightweight pushchair. Fold it before you get on the bus so you're ready to go and always move for wheelchair users. Being held up because somebody is faffing about with a pram is annoying. If you don't like it then drive."

Sorry, but people could and do say exactly the same about wheelchair users holding them up getting on/off buses. I heard someone who was late for work having a right old rant about the time it took to lower and raise the ramp for a lady coming on.

Everyone just needs to have a little bit of tolerance and patience. We are talking a matter of seconds in both cases.

isthisspring · 21/05/2018 15:19

I used to feel guilty about the amount of time I spent driving my pair around, (in terms of damage to the environment). But the attitudes that are frequently displayed towards carers struggling to manage babies on public transport make me glad that I never tried to manage it. We should really be looking to make it as safe and comfortable as possible though for people to use public transport not just berating people for failing to manage the system flawlessly.

Wolfiefan · 21/05/2018 15:20

Hang on a wheelchair user doesn't have a choice. Not like they can decide to stand up and lift the bloody thing onto the bus.
OP has a choice. Choosing to hold everyone up is unreasonable. Get a pushchair that suits what you need it for.

CluedoAddict · 21/05/2018 15:22

In my mum's day you had to fold the pushchair before getting on. She had two under two and managed it. She used to get shopping too.

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 21/05/2018 15:27

For anyone like Gryffen who thinks it is OK not to move so a wheelchair user can get on:
My neighbour, a single woman who lived alone and was in a wheelchair with MS, would sometimes be able to get out of her flat (not often) to go to a cinema about 3 miles away by bus with her friend and carer - neither owned/could drive a car. She had discovered that, lately, no taxis were available to her - most refused to take the booking, some would take the booking but wouldn't turn up, so bus was her only transport to get out and do anything. Several times she got to the cinema, enjoyed the film and then couldn't get back as the buses were full of pushchairs and the drivers not keen to get into an argument with the mothers with pushchairs. One time she was sat in the cold and rain in her wheelchair while 3 buses came and went and could not/would not move people off so she could board. If you think it is OK to leave a wheelchair person out on the pavement indefinitely you should hope very much that you aren't in their place one day.

bubbleroad · 21/05/2018 15:30

There seems to be a large amount of vitriol aimed at any bus users who dare to push on a buggy (that the driver lets on without a fuss!). If there is space, what's the problem? What about those with sholleys or large suitcases?

BitchQueen90 · 21/05/2018 15:31

pig wheelchair users don't have a choice. People with pushchairs have the choice to do it at the bus stop which is what I used to do. It only takes a matter of seconds to do it before the bus arrives.

MiggeldyHiggins · 21/05/2018 15:32

There is no vitriol for anyone with a buggy on a bus. They are only a problem when they won't move for wheelchair users, or hold up the bus for everyone, or block the aisle with their buggy.
If they have some basic manners, they're fine, same as anyone else.

SD1978 · 21/05/2018 15:32

DrOver didn’t know it would be a task to fold it, and didn’t cause your injury- having a pram you can’t easily fold on a bus, which is your choice caused your injury. Driver maybe should have noticed you were doing it, but ultimately I’m sorry, I don’t see him at fault. These tractor prams people have now are the bane of public transport, and it’s your choice, not necessity to own one. Maybe practice a bit at home when you’re better how to put it up and down, so that it becomes easier for you?

Sirzy · 21/05/2018 15:34

the problem is disabled people face the “but I was here first” type shit regularly when they are trying to access the only suitable space for them on a bus. It’s not hard to see why that would lead to them thinking that an out and out ban may be easier!

Problem is many parents don’t realise how much the campaigning of disability rights campaigners makes their lives easier and keep on wanting more and more of what they have campaigned for making it harder for disabled people to access what has been fought for for them

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 21/05/2018 15:34

He should have waited for you to fold the buggy. I would complain about this too. I don’t think you should always fold a buggy. It isn’t always necessary. I don’t see people folding until they have to eg if WC user gets on.

smudgedlipstick · 21/05/2018 15:37

It's really not that difficult to fold a pushchair on a moving bus 🙄

Witchend · 21/05/2018 15:50

And meanwhile twenty years ago many of us managed to get on buses with toddler and non-walking babies and fold the buggies up without making a song and dance about it.

I'm with the person who says just ban buggies from not being folded on the bus. It's another case of the person who gains something by someone else's entitlement then feeling entitled above that.

TemptressofWaikiki · 21/05/2018 15:54

@gryffen You are absolutely vile!

OP, you need to become more considerate and less entitled on public transport. Some of us managed with a baby and small toddler without the attitude.

Aeroflotgirl · 21/05/2018 15:55

Oh op, bless you. I used to have a Maclaren umbrella buggy which was very light and easy to fold up. I bought the one for ds now 6, suitable from birth, so he could lie flat. Those big travel systems on buses are very difficult, this Maclaren was so easy on the bus.

pigmcpigface · 21/05/2018 16:00

Those criticising OP for holding up the bus are contradicting themselves.

Nearly every one of them has said "it only takes seconds".

But if it only takes seconds, then the OP doing it on the bus isn't such a big deal, is it? She's hardly causing a meaningful delay with seconds.

My point was not about wheelchair users versus mums. My point was that life would be infinitely nicer if we all had a tiny bit more patience and tolerance over the small shit that doesn't matter.

cricketballs3 · 21/05/2018 16:06

witchend has summed it up perfectly - not too many years ago you couldn't board a bus unless buggy/pushchair was folded and we all managed no matter how many DC we also had to keep safe

bubbleroad · 21/05/2018 16:20

Thing is, you used to have to fold up a buggy - so people did. Nowadays you don't HAVE to a lot of the time, so if someone gets into a situation where they suddenly need to, let them have a bit of time.

I'm very aware of the campaigning that got disabled spaces on buses, but the newer buses I see have much more space beyond one wheelchair gap so it seems fair enough that this is used by buggies.

There are other things that hold up getting off buses - people sitting at the back of the top deck; people who have to gather lots of shopping bags.

I agree with pig about being a bit more tolerant.

bridgetoc · 21/05/2018 16:23

I can see why you're annoyed, but YABU.....

Let it go, it's not worth complaining about. It really isn't a big deal.

Doublegloucester · 21/05/2018 16:43

So where exactly are we supposed to store folding buggies on buses? Buses near me don't have long enough storage racks to carry a folded buggy safely, and they are pretty new buses...