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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make a complaint about the bus driver?

129 replies

PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 13:21

I'm really upset Sad I got on the bus but there was a man in a mobility scooter so no space for my son's pushchair so I put him by the door.

At the next stop the driver said "young lady, you can't leave it there, you'll have to fold it or get off the bus." I said that I would fold it and got DS out, a lady said she would hold him for me so I passed him to her and started to fold up the chair. The driver drove off, so I said that he'd have to wait, but he just ignored me, so I sat down and took DS back.

At the next stop, the driver was really arsey and said that I had to get off the bus or fold it, so I said that I was folding it but he drove off & I can't do it while the bus is moving. I said that I'll fold it, but he has to wait, which he wasn't happy with. The lady held DS again and I folded it up and put it on the luggage rack, and said to the driver "a bit of patience never hurt anyone" to which he said that I needed to get some manners?!?!

Anyway, I really hurt my back and now can barely move. I was on my way to a play group and then was going to see my friend, but I'm just going home instead. DP is going to leave work early as I'm not sure how I'm going to care for a young baby (lifting in and out of cot etc) in this much pain.

I could hear other passengers talking to their companions, saying "how did he expect her to do that? What if she'd fallen and smashed her face?" and saying that he was really disrespectful. I'm not unhappy at being asked to fold the pushchair, but wibu to make a complaint about the way the driver spoke to me?

OP posts:
redexpat · 21/05/2018 13:54

He could have just said i need you to fold the pram. I hate young lady. It's only ever used when admonishing someone and was totally unecessary.

Furano · 21/05/2018 13:55

The drivers have to keep to time on the route.

You were being super annoying and then rude to boot. Just fold your push chair before you get on FFS.

RemainOptimistic · 21/05/2018 13:55

Driver should have waited for everyone to be safely seated before taking off.

Basic safety I would have thought.

Original poster
PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 13:55

Thank you all for the replies. To be clear, I'm not suggesting the bus driver is responsible for my back hurting!

With a young baby, it's not really possible to fold up the pushchair before getting onto the bus. I've left the pushchair by the door before, some drivers say it's OK and others ask me to move it. They are big double doors, so there was still space for others to get off. I don't have a problem folding it down, but it's not safe for me to do that while the bus is moving and a stranger is holding my baby.

BlueNeighbourhood I'm not really sure what I'd be hoping to achieve with the complaint, which is why I'm not sure about making one. Perhaps just to raise awareness that drivers need to have a bit of patience and a bit more respect? I'm one of the few people that I see who always smile and say thank you to the driver as I get on/off and I don't think I deserve to be treated so rudely.

MissDuke so many times? It was the second time... And he wasn't exactly all smiles and polite the first time!

Cuckooclocks thank you.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 21/05/2018 13:56

gryffen you actually seem proud of refusing to move for a wheelchair user. WTAF?

pinkmagic1 · 21/05/2018 13:56

I used to use the bus regularly when my youngest ds was small, before I got a car.
The drivers were a nightmare. There were special spaces for pushchairs in addition to a wheelchair bay and if the spaces were full they would not wait whilst you folded, on or off the bus.
Folding any sort of buggy, even the most basic stroller on a moving, jolting bus is not easy.
Like a pp poster said, you are their customer, you are not doing the bus company a favour by using the service, it is the other way round.
You are not in Nottingham by any chance are you op? Most of the drivers have a degree in rudeness!

Wolfiefan · 21/05/2018 13:57

Can't fold buggy? Get a sling.
If you can't manage the buggy and the baby then that's down to you. You need to find an alternative.

TomRavenscroft · 21/05/2018 13:58

WC user demanded access. How outrageous of them Hmm

Your local buses' rules (if that's actually what they say) stink, and so does your attitude.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 21/05/2018 14:00

Your local buses' rules (if that's actually what they say) stink, and so does your attitude.

I don't believe it is the rules, I am pretty sure Wheelchair users have priority.

3stonedown · 21/05/2018 14:01

I think with a newborn the standard practice would be to put newborn in a carrier/sling and fold pushchair if someone is already using the space.

Original poster
PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:01

Redexpat thank you, I feel he did use the phrase 'young lady' in a tone that I cant quite find the word for, but it was unnecessary!

Wolfie my baby hates a sling. What would your alternative suggestion be?

OP posts:
TroubledLichen · 21/05/2018 14:02

If you can’t fold your buggy and put it on the luggage rack without hurting yourself you need a new buggy or a car.

You knew you were supposed to fold because the wheelchair space was taken but you didn’t, you tried to block the door. The driver told you not to, you ignored his first request to fold and when you finally did reluctantly you expected the bus to wait and not move off. You were rude when you said ‘a bit of patience never hurt anyone’. Think of everyone else on the bus or up ahead waiting for the bus who would have had a delayed journey because you can’t easily work your pushchair. The bus is for everyone and the service doesn’t revolve around you.

SaltyPeanut · 21/05/2018 14:02

Don't waste your time complaining about the driver, fuck all will happen if you do. I reported the driver of a 10pm bus for falling asleep at the wheel, (I categorically saw him do it several times) which caused him to mount the pavement several times. Never heard fuck all about it after an initial "oh yes this is very serious. Thanks for telling us" phone call from the bus company after I'd submitted the complaint form on their web site.

Waste of your time. They don't give a shit anymore than that driver cared if he caused you to break your neck as he drove off knowing you were in an unstable position.

Wolfiefan · 21/05/2018 14:04

Try a different sort of sling.
Get a pushchair you can easily fold.
Get a friend to travel with you.
Take a taxi.
Get a lift.
Travel at quiet times so you don't need to fold the pushchair down.
Lots of things you can do.

OliviaStabler · 21/05/2018 14:04

Why couldn't you fold it up when the driver first asked? I know it is awkward but I've seen plenty of Mum's do that on the bus.

kissthealderman · 21/05/2018 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aridane · 21/05/2018 14:05

I was going to say YWB(a bit)U, OP - but I've now seen Gryffin's post and she is being massively unreasonable!

SevenStones · 21/05/2018 14:05

Had a similar issue when daughter was really young and already a empty buggy loaded with shopping plus my pram in it and WC user demanded access.

Driver looked at us and I said firmly it's a pram with a baby and it's first come first serve unless you can refund me my ticket (they cant).

WOW! What a thoroughly nice person you are.

Original poster
PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:06

TroubledLichen, did you read my op? I didn't ignore his first request, I was folding the chair up!

Mine and my baby's safety is the most important thing here, and I didn't want to leave him being held by an elderly woman who is a stranger to me - she may have been frail and what would have happened then if the bus broke suddenly?

SaltyPeanut that is terrible!!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 21/05/2018 14:08

You weren't folding it up. The bus moved and he had to ask you again at the next stop.

Nikephorus · 21/05/2018 14:08

What would your alternative suggestion be?
Stay at home until your child is old enough to walk & be sarcastic to bus drivers themselves?
The bus driver wouldn't have said anything to you about your manners if you hadn't been sarky first. And as you said in your OP, you accept that he was reasonable to ask you to fold the pushchair. So you have no AIBU.

Helendee · 21/05/2018 14:09

Buy a light weight umbrella fold buggy that you can operate with one hand and fold it before you get on the bus. That's what I did for years with my four.

Original poster
PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:10

Wolfie

I've tried several slings and wraps.
I have no issues with folding the pushchair safely, it's not the chair's fault.
I have one local friend, who I was travelling to see.
Can't afford a taxi.
See above re friend.
I'd consider Midday to be a quiet time.

I'd suggest you try putting yourself into someone else's shoes and get off your high horse.

OP posts:
cjt110 · 21/05/2018 14:11

And so it unfolds...

OP: AIBU?
MN: Yes
OP: Nothing is my fault and the bus driver is a cunt

ZeroFuchsGiven · 21/05/2018 14:12

I'd suggest you try putting yourself into someone else's shoes and get off your high horse.

I think thats the point people are trying to make, me included, we HAVE been in your shoes and managed to fold the buggy and hold a child with no issues!