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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make a complaint about the bus driver?

129 replies

PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 13:21

I'm really upset I got on the bus but there was a man in a mobility scooter so no space for my son's pushchair so I put him by the door.

At the next stop the driver said "young lady, you can't leave it there, you'll have to fold it or get off the bus." I said that I would fold it and got DS out, a lady said she would hold him for me so I passed him to her and started to fold up the chair. The driver drove off, so I said that he'd have to wait, but he just ignored me, so I sat down and took DS back.

At the next stop, the driver was really arsey and said that I had to get off the bus or fold it, so I said that I was folding it but he drove off & I can't do it while the bus is moving. I said that I'll fold it, but he has to wait, which he wasn't happy with. The lady held DS again and I folded it up and put it on the luggage rack, and said to the driver "a bit of patience never hurt anyone" to which he said that I needed to get some manners?!?!

Anyway, I really hurt my back and now can barely move. I was on my way to a play group and then was going to see my friend, but I'm just going home instead. DP is going to leave work early as I'm not sure how I'm going to care for a young baby (lifting in and out of cot etc) in this much pain.

I could hear other passengers talking to their companions, saying "how did he expect her to do that? What if she'd fallen and smashed her face?" and saying that he was really disrespectful. I'm not unhappy at being asked to fold the pushchair, but wibu to make a complaint about the way the driver spoke to me?

OP posts:

cjt110 · 21/05/2018 14:27

PrettyWisdomous I think you'll find a few have agrreed, the majority have said what you seemed to do was make a half arsed attempt, give the bus driver a gobful when he asks you again hen wonder why he tells you to get some manners. And each suggestion handed to you is rebutted.

Cakeycakecake · 21/05/2018 14:28

gryff at the risk of sounding like an arsehole like you refusing to give up what is designated as a wheelchair space makes you an absolute fucking tosser.

I have such bad spinal problems that without buggy to lean on, I’m on crutches permanently. I’ve recently had to swap my lightweight and easy to fold buggy for a heavier and sturdier one. At some point I’ll be that wheelchair user. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have a disability and people look at you like you’re less of a person because of it? What it’s like to be in permanent pain and struggle to complete even basic tasks? I wouldn’t be you for anything; such a lack of compassion makes you horrible.

Op please place the complaint. I’ve had similar and did complain- driver knew about it too and next time he saw me he made a point of apologising for allowing his bad mood to be taken out on me. Sometimes they need to be told and explained how risky their actions can be.

yikesanotherbooboo · 21/05/2018 14:29

OP, bus driver could perhaps have been kinder but you need to rethink your travel arrangements. Practice folding buggy while wriggling baby is in sling. I agree that it used to be the done thing to do all of this at the bus stop so that there was no risk of inconveniencing or obstructing others.I must admit that it is a long time since I had a baby in a buggy but hadn't realised that all this fuss went on. Choose your buggy to fit your lifestyle first and foremost .., worry afterwards about colour scheme/ hoods/ fore ward or rearward facing etc.

Original poster

PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:29

pigmcpigface thank you and I agree the remark wasn't necessary.

OP posts:

soapboxqueen · 21/05/2018 14:29

Yes you should complain. It doesn't matter the ins and outs of the baby or the type of pram or whether it should have been already folded. Top and bottom of it is, the pram wasn't folded, he should have waited. Some prams are harder to fold down than others and on some bus routes they don't need to be going fast before you need to hold onto something or you'll fall over.

Sirzy · 21/05/2018 14:30

This thread makes me even more certain that (unless you have a pass for a medical exception) all prams should need to be folded before getting on a bus and the wheelchair space should be kept as just that.

I was very impressed with the bus driver last year who refused to move the bus until a lady collapsed her pram to let ds on in his wheelchair

Wolfiefan · 21/05/2018 14:33

So the bus driver should wait whilst you remove the baby, shift the changing bag and put the seat back before folding the whole kit and caboodle. Entitled much?

HariboIsMyCrack · 21/05/2018 14:33

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

bubbleroad · 21/05/2018 14:33

OP I think you have to chalk this up to an unfortunate incident and think twice about getting on if folding pushchair is going to be a problem but it does sound like some drivers are more amenable than others.

Round here there is normally space for a wheelchair and a buggy and two buggies on a bus is not an uncommon sight. There is no expectation that they should be folded before boarding (but I would expect that anyone would do so IF the space were needed by wheelchair).

pigmcpigface · 21/05/2018 14:33

prettywisdomus - well, we all sometimes say things that aren't quite the right response, don't we? Don't beat yourself up about it.

"I was very impressed with the bus driver last year who refused to move the bus until a lady collapsed her pram to let ds on in his wheelchair"

I think the key to this is that he refused to move the bus.

I don't know whether people on this thread travel only on routes where the traffic is so slow that the bus barely moves, but it is hard even to stand on some buses, let alone to collapse a pram. Whether the OP should have folded the pram beforehand or not is a separate question - surely, the right thing to do in the presence of an unfolded pram on a fast bus is to wait for a few seconds so the person can collapse it safely?

TerfsUp · 21/05/2018 14:34

YABU.

Original poster

PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:35

Nikephorus but he'd already heard me the first time. For all he knows, I could have a hidden disability myself which makes it more difficult for me.

I'm not sure how I hurt my back either, pp whose name I can't find, and it's not really relevant to my complaint as its not the bus drivers fault.

soapboxqueen thank you for talking some sense into this bizarre thread. You're definitely right. Although given previous comments about bus companies lack of interest, I'm not sure it's worth complaining.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 21/05/2018 14:36

No he refused to move because the woman was initially being rude and saying she was there first! Nothing to do with helping her collapse it.

Original poster

PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:40

Our buses are sometimes quite roomy, I've been able to park DS next to a wheelchair before without any issues... The mobility scooter was larger so not possible in this case. It's never been necessary for me to fold the pram before, so would be a bit odd to start folding up the pushchair before boarding the bus.

I've concluded that when I boarded the bus with DS in the pram, I should have asked the bus driver to wait so that I could safely fold and stow the pram before we moved off. I'll bear that in mind next time this situation arises.

I might write to the bus company just to make them aware of the H&S aspect.

OP posts:

Original poster

PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:41

Just read that back and my indignant little voice is saying "but that's what I did!!"

I'll be more insistent next time, or ask the driver to refund me so I can get the next bus.

OP posts:

MadMags · 21/05/2018 14:41

Prams and buggies should be banned from buses.

Problem solved.

IsMyUserNameRubbish · 21/05/2018 14:43

When my children were young I'd automatically fold the buggy up as the bus approached, it took seconds. I too can't see how you would hurt your back unless the bus took off and you fell back into a rail, even then, he asked you twice so I'm afraid the boss would always side with the driver. We're there blame there's alarm though eh 🤔

LighthouseSouth · 21/05/2018 14:43

in general I have a real thing about wheelchair priority

in terms of waiting for you though, were you standing?

In London we recently had a spate of announcements "please hold on - the bus is about to move" till we all lost our minds and they switched them off. I appreciate he must have been pissed off and is probably constantly pissed off by unfolded buggies, but yes, he should have waited for you to collapse it if you were standing.

in general I think a rule needs to be enforced that all buggies must be collapsed before boarding actually - it is such a horrendous faff to do it after.

i also wonder when the next bus was ...for you I mean.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 21/05/2018 14:43

I might write to the bus company just to make them aware of the H&S aspect.

YOU were the health and safety aspect, you were blocking the doors with your buggy!

Nikephorus · 21/05/2018 14:44

I might write to the bus company just to make them aware of the H&S aspect.
The H&S aspect of you leaving your pushchair in the wrong place for people to fall over and having to be told to move it?

soapboxqueen · 21/05/2018 14:47

The answer to a customer creating a h&s issue due to the parking of a pram is not to create another by moving the bus while they are trying to rectify it.

Original poster

PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:48

Some posters are being deliberately obtuse. I've already explained that the doors were not blocked.

I'm done with this now. Thank you all for your time and comments.

OP posts:

LeighaJ · 21/05/2018 14:48

I don't understand how you hurt your back or your back hurting ties in with the rest but I still have baby brain...so I might have missed something.

Having ridden the bus a lot I can completely understand why someone might think you'd get hurt trying to fold it while the bus is moving. If they aren't flying around corners they're slamming their brakes for bad drivers and rude pedestrians just strolling out from wherev.

HariboIsMyCrack · 21/05/2018 14:50

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

kaitlinktm · 21/05/2018 14:51

I feel he did use the phrase 'young lady' in a tone that I cant quite find the word for

Patronising? Condescending?

I wonder how he would have felt if you had replied "So could you old man."

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