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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make a complaint about the bus driver?

129 replies

PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 13:21

I'm really upset Sad I got on the bus but there was a man in a mobility scooter so no space for my son's pushchair so I put him by the door.

At the next stop the driver said "young lady, you can't leave it there, you'll have to fold it or get off the bus." I said that I would fold it and got DS out, a lady said she would hold him for me so I passed him to her and started to fold up the chair. The driver drove off, so I said that he'd have to wait, but he just ignored me, so I sat down and took DS back.

At the next stop, the driver was really arsey and said that I had to get off the bus or fold it, so I said that I was folding it but he drove off & I can't do it while the bus is moving. I said that I'll fold it, but he has to wait, which he wasn't happy with. The lady held DS again and I folded it up and put it on the luggage rack, and said to the driver "a bit of patience never hurt anyone" to which he said that I needed to get some manners?!?!

Anyway, I really hurt my back and now can barely move. I was on my way to a play group and then was going to see my friend, but I'm just going home instead. DP is going to leave work early as I'm not sure how I'm going to care for a young baby (lifting in and out of cot etc) in this much pain.

I could hear other passengers talking to their companions, saying "how did he expect her to do that? What if she'd fallen and smashed her face?" and saying that he was really disrespectful. I'm not unhappy at being asked to fold the pushchair, but wibu to make a complaint about the way the driver spoke to me?

OP posts:
DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 21/05/2018 14:14

Sorry i think YABU.

I used to have to travel with twins on buses - if the space is occupied and you can’t fold your chair easily, then you wait for the next bus. You travel at quiet times. If you can fold your chair, practice so you can do it before you get on.

He might have been sharp with you but it’s quite obvious you can’t leave your buggy blocking the aisle.

MyKingdomForBrie · 21/05/2018 14:14

Well aren’t you a bloody delight Gryffen! If you’re not prepared to fold for a wheelchair user you must be a horrible bloody human being frankly. I can’t even really find the words to express it. Your convenience is so important to you that you’d leave them on the pavement rather than fold. You can just stand up and fold your pram. Do you have any comprehension of what a privilege that even is to not even have to think twice about just standing up.

Original poster
PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:14

cjt100 YABU - a fair few pp have agreed that I was not unreasonable to expect the bus to be stationary so that I could fold and stow the pushchair safely. Health and safety.

OP posts:
aharddaysnight · 21/05/2018 14:15

gryffen That is absolutely horrendous. Of course you should give up the wheelchair space for a wheelchair user. That means you either have to fold up the buggy or get off the bus immediately. I can't believe anyone would think otherwise.

OP I would seriously chalk this down to a bad experience. I wouldn't say he was particularly rude (seems to be six of one and half a dozen of another apart from the young lady which seems patronising) and I expect being a bus driver can be extremely stressful and they have to keep to a strict timetable. Don't complain. Hope your back gets better soon.

Wolfiefan · 21/05/2018 14:15

Cjt unfolds. Grin
OP so you can do the buggy. But you can't manage it and a baby on the bus. This isn't the bus driver's fault. Nor is the fact your back hurts. You need to have a buggy that you can fold or find a way to fold it before you get on the bus.
I don't have a "high horse" but you seem to. Suggesting that the world should allow you to park your obstruction wherever you like or delay the journey of everyone on the bus whilst you fart about folding your pushchair.

RoomOfRequirement · 21/05/2018 14:15

I don't understand why you didn't fold the pushchair as soon as you saw there was no room for it in the wheelchair space? Every time I've seen this happen, either as another passenger or with friends and family of the person with the pushchair, parents with pushchairs either immediately fold it down, or wait for another bus. Not get on, put pushchair in the way, have to be told by the driver to put it down, then ignore him because of the bus moving.

Buses are timetabled. The next thread will be people complaining their bus was late if they have to wait a couple minutes at every stop for people like you.

And I have no idea what your back hurting had to do with anything.

@Gryffen you are a terrible person. You can take your child out of a pushchair. A wheelchair user needs their wheelchair. Your post sickened me. Damn entitlement.

RiddleyW · 21/05/2018 14:16

I think it's reasonable for the bus to wait while the buggy is folded. I'm not sure why that's annoyed people so much. I wouldn't bother complaining though.

BackforGood · 21/05/2018 14:16

With a young baby, it's not really possible to fold up the pushchair before getting onto the bus.

why not ? Confused It's what everyone has done since time immemorial

Rudgie47 · 21/05/2018 14:17

Bus driver sounds an ignorant bastard, I'm with you OP. I'd complain to the bus company.Here I've seen bus drivers offering to help people with buggies.Its not acceptable for people to have to fold them down whilst the bus is moving. You could have been injured.
I never knew that mobility scooters were allowed on the bus, here I've only seen wheelchairs and kids buggies.

Original poster
PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:18

aharddaysnight thank you.

OP posts:
3stonedown · 21/05/2018 14:19

Sorry OP but even if you DS hates the sling you just have to pop him in and let him fuss for the couple of minutes it will take to fold the pram put it away and get a seat on the bus.

TroubledLichen · 21/05/2018 14:20

From your OP:
Board bus: you leave pushchair in front of door.
Stop 1: driver asks you to fold, you hand, DS to a stranger and ‘start’ folding but you abandon your efforts, take DS back and sit down.
Stop 2: driver gets stroppy as you still haven’t folded it, this time you do but not without a sarky comment.
Even if it was in the name of safety it does sound and definitely would have looked to the driver as if you were ignoring his first request to fold.

Get a pushchair you can fold one handed, quickly and easily. It will make life much easier if you travel on public transport a lot.

Original poster
PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:21

RiddleyW thank you. I'm not sure why that's annoyed so many people either!

Rudgie47 thank you.

OP posts:
CoffeeIsNotEnough · 21/05/2018 14:21

@PrettyWisdomous "With a young baby, it's not really possible to fold up the pushchair before getting onto the bus." It is, honestly. That's what we all had to do before wheelchair accessible buses became the norm. I carried a sling for the purpose. Put baby in sling at bus stop, fold up pushchair, get on bus. And if you're not quick at putting on a sling just practice at home.

Original poster
PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:22

3stonedown you'd suggest having a wriggling baby in a sling whilst trying to fold and lift a pushchair on a moving bus?

OP posts:
3stonedown · 21/05/2018 14:23

PrettyWisdomous No, I suggest you put wriggling baby in the sling and fold the pram before you get on the bus and put the pram away and sit down before the bus moves

pigmcpigface · 21/05/2018 14:24

I think sometimes the issue isn't one of content but of style.

There are many ways of asking someone to do something. Some can be very rude, others can be very conciliatory.

He should have asked you to fold the buggy nicely, and he should have waited while you did so. He had no business questioning your manners. You should not have made the passive-aggressive remark about patience, though.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 21/05/2018 14:24

you'd suggest having a wriggling baby in a sling whilst trying to fold and lift a pushchair on a moving bus?

Fold the pushchair BEFORE you get on the bus. Hmm

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/05/2018 14:25

I said firmly it's a pram with a baby and it's first come first serve unless you can refund me my ticket (they cant).

What an incredibly vile attitude.

Gilead · 21/05/2018 14:26

Driver looked at us and I said firmly it's a pram with a baby and it's first come first serve unless you can refund me my ticket (they can't).
You just made that up off the top of your head, didn't you, because wheelchair users take priority and they can refund your ticket. Don't believe for one second the driver 'phoned, you just want to justify your self righteous position whilst feeling a wee bit shaky on it, don't you. Well damn right you should feel shaky. Wheelchair users take priority. That's the law.

Original poster
PrettyWisdomous · 21/05/2018 14:26

TroubledLichen I appreciate where you're coming from, but I'd said to the bus driver that I'll fold it and asked him to wait and he'd seen me preparing to fold it (removing baby, moving the changing bag and adjusting the seat back) before he made to pull away. At this stage I called that I'd need him to wait, but he ignored me.

I will get a 'buggy' in a few months when DS is bigger, for now the pushchair meets his needs better as he is safer and more comfortable (he can't yet sit up).

OP posts:
Nikephorus · 21/05/2018 14:26

A, If you were sitting down why couldn't you fold the pushchair up while remaining sitting given that someone else was willing to hold the child?
B, Wolfie - OP isn't on her high horse - she'd never manage to get on it what with her bad back and the non-folding pushchair!! Grin

OlennasWimple · 21/05/2018 14:26

I don't get how you hurt your back?

MiggeldyHiggins · 21/05/2018 14:27

With a young baby, it's not really possible to fold up the pushchair before getting onto the bus and yet people do exactly that.

I hope you have decided against a complaint OP?

Nikephorus · 21/05/2018 14:27

At this stage I called that I'd need him to wait, but he ignored me.
Maybe he didn't hear you because he was driving the bus, taking notice of the other traffic as he pulled out, focusing on his route and whether he was on time, hard of hearing.......?