Stinky visitor

[HasPegOnNose]

I have a (distant) relative staying for almost 2 weeks.

We are 1 week in and he is refusing to wash. He stinks and is making my house stink. There is a horrible musty sweaty smell about him and the room he is trashing at my house.

His clothes are also filthy. I ask him for his laundry and he gives me a bunch of stuff while still wearing the stained shirt he had on yesterday. It has a good stain in the middle of the front.

There is a greasy circle on the pillow where I imagine his (unwashed) head has gone. The room stinks, literally stinks

Also he is rude to my friends and ungrateful.

He seems to be treating me like a hotel, putting in food orders as he never likes what we are eating. I have gone out of my way to check what he wants but he still makes snide comments and looks unenthusiastic.

The other day he said he liked egg, (I'd checked he liked egg before making the sandwiches, I hate egg but got some especially for him.) When I was making the sandwiches he wandered in and says that's not for me us it... I don't like egg in sandwiches!

I am fuming & at my wits end...Counting down the days until he leaves.

He has been before and never gave me so much as a bunch of flowers or card as a thank you gift. Thankfully it was not at the height of summer and it stayed a few days, I don't think he showered then either but the smell was not as bad.

I was a bit then...but he is definitely never coming again!

I have name changed in case this gets picked up by the Daily Fail: but it is all true and I cannot believe the rudeness and cheek of anyone who would act this way.

I hope I am not BU here- but you know, it never hurts to check on MN!

I think you're only option will be to burn the house down. At least the smell will be gone.

*your

Mirror - don't worry, the restaurant was empty as he wanted to go at a stupidly early time.

How much would it cost to book him into a B and B?
If you can afford it, it might be worth it as you obviously can't stand the situation any longer.
You can't chuck an elderly (distant) relative with a health problem requiring colostomy bag out on the street with nowhere to go.

He isn't going to take a shower and the more you go on about it the more he is going to dig his heels in (it would seem from your posts anyway).

Don't know why his colostomy bag smells so bad - friend of mine who has since died had one and when he changed it in my bathroom a few times there was no smell worse than a slightly smelly poo. He was scrupulous about personal hygiene though.

Honestly, if you can afford it, book a B and B and get your DH to tell him it isn't working out but you've arranged accommodation for him and he should pack his things and your DH will take him to the B and B.

Oh and never ever let him stay again.

Does he go outside much? Could you perhaps have a waterfight or something? Or maybe if he sat in the garden you could pretend you'd got all disoriented with the hosepipe and shower him with it "accidentally"?

I was going to say ASD but obviously others have beaten me to it.
Saying thinks like ‘I think you should have a shower’ may be taken completely literally as a statement of opinion not a resquest. Most politeness involves being indirect which obviously hasn’t worked. Be as direct as possible and give a time frame.

Gacapa- no. Although it did rain while we were briefly outside earlier. I said 'what a shame I didn't bring my shampoo Brian, you could have washed your hair right here...'

That's what: I had a more direct convo earlier and he said he would shower this evening. We will see.

Don't hold out much hope that he even knows how to shower properly as he is so utterly rank. I mean: what good will one shower do when he clearly hasn't washed for months...

Go and start the shower running and say to him, right Brian, that's the shower on for you. There's shampoo, soap and a towel in there. Then deep clean the living room whilst he's out of it. I'm gagging at the thought of it.

Fairy puff- and deep clean the shower when he's out of it too. Those large scalp flakes 😱🤢

I'm concerned for whoever gets to sit next to him on the plane home, its your civic duty to force him to shower before getting on that plane. Tell him the airline might not permit him entry to the plane if he stinks. Remember that plane that turned around because someone did a massive stinky poo. I feel I might have to shower after reading this thread.

This is the link to the story about the stinky poo..... www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/31908620/ba-flight-forced-to-land-early-because-of-smelly-poo

Stand by... Brian has entered the bathroom.

Cannot hear the shower running yet however... it feels wrong to press my ear to the door, but Phoebe is right, it's a civic duty...

Shower started

It's stomach churning reading this, I really feel for you OP

Shower has now been turned off. How long was that...?

So happy for you, OP after this trip though, never let this skanky man darken your door again

Not long enough to clean himself properly I fear 😷

X-posted, spoke too soon! Did he even have a chance to get wet?

Vodka thanks!

1 minute 36sec I reckon! Barely long enough to get wet, so definitely not sufficient (I suspect he'll come out with a dry towel!)

Not long enough but better than nothing I suppose!

I'd go and check if he needs help 60 seconds isn't enough time to was your whole body esp one that stinks....

Oh no... whatever towel he uses to 'dry is just going to be covered in muck.
If it looks dirty, if confront him with it and tell him to actually go and wash. I can't believe anyone is so timid that they'd put up with this.