Blood on husbands trousers

[Melissa74]

Hello .. thoughts please
My husband went out on a colleagues leaving do last night . He came home around 12 . This morning whilst doing laundry I noticed the jeans he wore out last night had quite a bit of blood in the seat area . I haven’t asked him about it

As if I'd make that up 🙄... almost all of the trousers needed treating for urine and pretty much all light trousers had Poo or blood in them . Men are grim .

I presumed a lot of men have piles but either don't know or won't go to the doctors 🤷‍♀️

I'm guessing the husband in this story doesn't know ( or care )because otherwise surely he would hide them or wash them himself . Men don't seem to have the same levels of embarrassment as women .

So you think that he has had sex with another man?

He might have a spot or scabs on his arse. I'm always scratching my own arse and getting blood on hotel sheets to be fair

Just ask him ffs

OP aside the blood issue and what thoughts you are having about that/ none of them good-are you miserable living alongside someone who you don’t have a good relationship with?

What if you had a serious health issue-would you be able to confide in your husband?

Do you want to stay married? Because if so then you need to confront and tackle your problems which go way deeper than this blood

If you don’t then how can you make plans to leave?

Assuming you are more worried that he has had sex with a man, then there are issue surrounding your own sexual health let alone your emotions.
Assuming you are more worried about his health then you owe it to him to mention it in case for some strange reason he hasn’t realised or is t aware how serious it can be

Either way- talk to him. Or text him or write it down or something

You can’t go on like this surely?

Best wishes to you

Yes miserable & lonely , hence the anti depressants . Would tell my husband if I had a serious health condition only because I wound have to for practical reasons . Certainly would not expect emotional support . No don’t wish to stay married , purely for practical / financial reasons .
Sorry if it sounds very cold but it’s taken me many years to admit this & stop pretending we have the perfect marriage to the outside world

Ps thank you for best wishes . You have no idea how appreciated that is from a total stranger

It doesn't sound like it's any of your business then. You're not in an emotional relationship, you aren't even friends. The only thing you could do is express concern and suggest he sees a doctor. But it doesn't sound like you are able to have that conversation with each other, so just leave him to it - he's a big boy.

Subconsciously I think I want him to have had gay sex ... although I would absolutely shattered by this ... the deceit mostly
I think I’m looking for an out ... God this situation is even more f up than I thought

Now that I can agree with...

Can I add that he’s taken to having his phone face down & he catagorically refused to hand over his phone when I wanted to order something on amazon recently ... he instead sat next to me as I read our the items

Why don't you leave ? It sounds a miserable existence

Think the Royal wedding has pushed me over the edge .... there’s nothing like like seeing two people in love to make you see how incredibly unhealthy - lonely sad your own marriage is

It is ... I have been with him since I was 16 .... I have never lived on my own , don’t earn a great deal ( he does ) & have a child doing Gcse’s . If I left I would have to move out of this area ( expensive ) which I wouldn’t mind but my teenager would .
I guess i have decided it’s better to be financially looked after & lonely
Than independent & poor .
I dream of winning the lottery & being financially independent

Why don't you just leave surely the practical and financial benefits can't out weigh being this miserable? Being extremely unhappy is a good enough reason get a divorce.

eddielizzard's idea is a good one. Could you do this?

It sounds like this marriage is over, but neither of you want to face up to it. It is certainly an unusual situation. Please take care of yourself. It may be that walking away from this disfunctional relationship is the way forward to making you feel better about yourself.

What have you got to lose by confronting him? You aren't happy in this relationship anyway, might be good to shake things up a bit. Whatever it is, I would advise you face up to your problems, all of them. What you're currently describing is no way to live.

It might not be sex, it might be inflamatory bowel disease or something like that.

Why do his laundry? Stop doing it

My friends tell me the same thing ! I know what I should do ( doing it is another matter)
I’m very good at burying my head in the sand over issues that will upset me .
I’m hanging on til my youngest goes to uni . I’ll still only be 45 so hopefully my happy ever after will start then ..... if not my life is not so bad ... we have a nice home , no financial worries ( we are not well off by any means ) i fill my time with work , my dog & my friends .

What kind of message is this sending to your children? Passive acceptance of a shit relationship?

Seems petty not to do his laundry ?? Also I want to keep up some sort of pretence for my Son ... he is aware that separation may be on the cards ( he expressed his wish to stay with me but in the area ) & also I have no ill feeling towards husband . I just don’t love him any more

Probably wise to take out life insurance on him just in case if you haven't already.