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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About elderly neighbours and my daughter’s piano

376 replies

user1499173618 · 17/05/2018 15:34

My DD is practising for her Grade 4 piano exam, which is due to take in June. We live on the second floor of a very nice apartment building of six apartments. We are the only occupants with a school aged child living at home. DD is very quiet and polite.

Our neighbours on the fourth and fifth floors have complained about DD’s piano playing and asked whether she could wear a headset and use the electronic keyboard. While I understand that they would prefer not to hear the piano at all, DD only plays for 30’ or so a day, apart from on Friday afternoons when her piano teacher gives her an hour’s lesson.

TBH I am quite hurt! DD is beautifully behaved and we work hard to keep her usefully occupied. I would have appreciated a more supportive set of neighbours! AIBU?

OP posts:
whosafraidofabigduckfart · 17/05/2018 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

callmeadoctor · 17/05/2018 21:47

Just turn the sound down!!!!!! Okay you may think your neighbours are unreasonable, but does it not upset you to think that your neighbours are obviously irritated?

iamyourequal · 17/05/2018 21:54

Yanbu OP if it’s only 30mins a day. Some people are just really lacking in tolerance and get upset by everything children do. It’s thoroughly depressing.

GnotherGnu · 17/05/2018 23:05

callmeadoctor, not sure if you've noticed, but pianos don't come with a volume control knob.

Blizzardagain · 17/05/2018 23:37

Her noise isn't appreciated though. You're being very entitled. It's digital, use speakers and keep the volume right down. It's not hard

Blizzardagain · 17/05/2018 23:37

GnotherGnu It's digitalHmm

Dixiestampsagain · 18/05/2018 00:03

My son is taking his grade 2 trombone and he was up early the other morning and (miraculously) decided to practise. Not sure what the neighbours thought as it was only 7 o’clock (I did stop him!). I teach piano and have an electric piano so there’s not too much noise for the neighbours. When we play our euphoniums/flutes it’s a bit noisier...! Our neighbours have never complained, though.

CoteDAzur · 18/05/2018 07:24

YANBU. 30 minutes in the afternoon is the bare minimum she can be expected to play her piano.

I play mine a LOT more than that, every day. Neighbours must hear my music, as I hear theirs. I also hear their dogs barking and howling for hours in the day and through the night. It's part of living in a community. Whoever doesn't like it can put on their own headphones or go live by themselves on a mountain.

CoteDAzur · 18/05/2018 07:34

"I have two professional pianist in the family - both have got rid of their pianos in favour of digital ones. If they find them acceptable"

That would be because neighbours would go out if their minds if they practice 5-6 hours every day on an acoustic piano. Not because they find a digital piano "acceptable" or anywhere close to the experience of a real piano on which they will be expected to give concerts and express nuances that are impossible to practice on an electronic device.

Original poster
user1499173618 · 18/05/2018 07:44

I agree, 30' isn't much at all, though she does practice her scales in addition to those 30' with the headset on. She loves playing and is likely to play more and more in future - may that is what the neighbours are anxious about?

OP posts:
GnotherGnu · 18/05/2018 07:47

Blizzard, they seem to have both types of piano.

AjasLipstick · 18/05/2018 07:51

Muffle the boarded up fireplace when she plays....maybe something like foam cushions or even egg boxes stuck on a board just for that purpose.

Tizzlebizzle · 18/05/2018 07:52

In a recent case a judge deemed that piano playing is a normal domestic activity and is not a nuisance when conducted for reasonable periods and at reasonable times of the day.
In this case she limited the playing to 5 hours per day with no more than 2 after 5pm and to finish at 9pm!
Just because something makes a noise it is not necessarily a nuisance and piano practice at home is definitely in that category.

StrangeLookingParasite · 18/05/2018 07:56

A piano in an apartment block is insanely selfish.

How bloody ridiculous.

So in total your DD (from your posts) plays at least 30 minutes every day + 1 hour lesson on Friday and then Sat and Sunday late morning practise - it would appear to be everyday from your own posts.

I would consider that the absolute bare minimum of practice she needs to do.

I would complain about that to be honest
Then you should never live in an apartment.

There is a certain amount of noise that is just part of living in an apartment. These neighbours are being ridiculous.

Veterinari · 18/05/2018 08:11

sound proofing would mean blocking the chimney, which we would be very happy to do but our fourth floor neighbours like their three open fires in winter.

No you should be able to block the flue from your apartment and muffle the noise. Your neighbours will have their own flues that join the main chimney

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 18/05/2018 08:17

I'd just refer them to environmental health & carry on as you are.

I'd love to hear a piano coming from next door instead of all the other kid related noises.

Have you tried putting egg crate foam on the chimney while she's playing, lumpy side facing into the room - that could help??

Original poster
user1499173618 · 18/05/2018 08:53

The flue is already blocked, with concrete blocks and cement! But there is still a whacking great empty space behind!

OP posts:
C8H10N4O2 · 18/05/2018 09:06

You casually slipped in part way through that it's a digital piano and yet it seemed to have not occurred to you she could turn it down

No the OP says:

We have a digital piano, integrated into the acoustic piano

Which is a different beast and usually doesn't have that degree of control.

Its ok with headphones for scales and initial fingering practice etc which seems to be how its being used in this case but improving for an exam needs some feedback from listeners. It also sounds a bit different through headphones - its easy to under or over emphasis parts compared to normal acoustic.

I would try the carpet under the piano or foam against the chimney at practice time but honestly 30 mins a day with an offer to adjust time to suit is reasonable.

Bahhhhhumbug · 18/05/2018 09:45

Well l still think you would be better avoiding noise being near their dining rooms rather than avoiding their bedrooms as you say you deliberately are. Maybe every time she plays they are in their dining room as it is around mealtimes.

Original poster
user1499173618 · 18/05/2018 10:06

No, we all have huge eat in kitchens in these apartments. The dining rooms are for formal occasions and DD is not playing at meal times - as I’ve said in PP, the neighbours have no issues with timing.

OP posts:
TerfinUSA · 18/05/2018 10:18

What is the actual model of piano that you have? is it strung?

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 18/05/2018 10:20

Can anyone send me a link as to what these are?

We have a digital piano, integrated into the acoustic piano

I've never heard of them!

OP, you know YANBU.

Please make sure your daughter doesn't get wind of any of this, as it will likely make her reluctant to play. I had similar issues with a neighbour in a previous flat and even though I've moved now I still feel some anxiety about sitting down to play and it really puts me off, otherwise I'd be doing it much more, it makes me sad that one person has had this effect on me.

Even a few hours per day would be fine if it's within sociable hours.

Try not to let it bother you, you're doing nothing wrong.

But, if in the future you do want to get a fully digital piano, I can recommend an amazing Yamaha model for less than £700-800. It has been a game changer for me!

Original poster
user1499173618 · 18/05/2018 10:29

It’s a Yamaha Silent upright model. It cost about £4,000 new.

OP posts:
C8H10N4O2 · 18/05/2018 10:29

Can anyone send me a link as to what these are?

I'm assuming the OP is talking about what I know as "silent pianos" - this kind of thing:

www.piano-warehouse.co.uk/category/silent-pianos/

Explanation of how they work here:

C8H10N4O2 · 18/05/2018 10:30

sorry - trigger fingers too fast.

Explanation of how silent pianos work here:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_piano