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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About elderly neighbours and my daughter’s piano

376 replies

user1499173618 · 17/05/2018 15:34

My DD is practising for her Grade 4 piano exam, which is due to take in June. We live on the second floor of a very nice apartment building of six apartments. We are the only occupants with a school aged child living at home. DD is very quiet and polite.

Our neighbours on the fourth and fifth floors have complained about DD’s piano playing and asked whether she could wear a headset and use the electronic keyboard. While I understand that they would prefer not to hear the piano at all, DD only plays for 30’ or so a day, apart from on Friday afternoons when her piano teacher gives her an hour’s lesson.

TBH I am quite hurt! DD is beautifully behaved and we work hard to keep her usefully occupied. I would have appreciated a more supportive set of neighbours! AIBU?

OP posts:
WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 18/05/2018 10:33

Oh wow! Thanks.

Haha, no need to bother you with my £800 suggestion then if you already have such a lovely expensive one 😊

SoupDragon · 18/05/2018 10:35

It’s a Yamaha Silent upright model

Well, that’s badly named isn’t it?

peachescariad · 18/05/2018 10:43

YANBU - I used to work with the noise pollution team in Environmental health, they wouldn't even bother with this. Your neighbours could do the monthly diary but as the playing is not of unreasonable length and not anti-social hours (early am/late pm) there's nothing they (EH) will do. Let her practice away. Good luck with the exam.

Dungeondragon15 · 18/05/2018 10:46

YANBU. I don't know how some people manage to survive in the 21st century if they cope with 30 min piano. The neighbours (and some posters on this thread) are being ridiculous. Offer to adjust the time but if they turn that down ignore them.

TerfinUSA · 18/05/2018 11:05

yeah it stops the hammers hitting the strings and then converts the mechanical action to digital sound via the headphones.

so not really functioning as a piano in the case that it is silent, as the sound is synthesised (or based on recorded samples) rather than an organically created sound.

C8H10N4O2 · 18/05/2018 11:21

Well, that’s badly named isn’t it?

No its a standard type of piano - a full acoustic which can be effectively silenced by use of the digital midi component. However if you are practicing for an exam and need feedback you will still need to use it in normal acoustic mode for at least part of the practice time.

SoupDragon · 18/05/2018 11:26

Sense of humour failure 🙄

C8H10N4O2 · 18/05/2018 11:31

Sense of humour failure

Its a very common misconception about silent pianos

mama4321 · 18/05/2018 11:36

Buy a splitter for the headphone socket and another set of headphones so you can still listen?

billybagpuss · 18/05/2018 11:47

How often have they complained? you are clearly within your rights for her to be practising for the amount of time that she is. My concern would be going forward from Grade 5 upwards the dynamic range required will be much much more. (previous grade 5 pieces, the storm and the flood definitely written to encourage dynamics).

Personally I find the digital piano worse for sound travelling than an acoustic as the digital that we had made a horrendous banging noise which you could hear whether or not they were using head phones.

mummabubs · 18/05/2018 11:53

Maybe worth considering changing to a digital piano with headphones until you live somewhere that isn't an apartment? I play piano daily and my husband plays bass- we both use headphones as we live in a terraced house. Whilst you and your daughter may love the sound of piano (as do I!) it's only polite and considerate to recognise that others may not. Especially if your daughter is preparing for grade exams so I'm guessing the scales and leaves are quite repetitive? I love piano but I'd probably find it grating if I could hear it every day and it disturbed my peace, I feel that if it was radio or another noise source people might not be suggesting your neighbours to be more tolerant.

mummabubs · 18/05/2018 11:53

Just seen you have a digital piano! So turn it down?? 😊

AlexandraLeaving · 18/05/2018 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummabubs · 18/05/2018 12:00

Oh dear, having finally caught up with all your replies you do seem to be ignoring every single person that suggests you are being unreasonable. As I said, I'm a piano player and even I think YABU given you have the means to a solution and know it's upsetting people but still choose to ignore this. I'm sure your daughter loves to play out loud and be appreciated and I'm not saying she should never do that at home... but teaching her to be considerate of others is also a valuable life lesson, no?

NanFlanders · 18/05/2018 12:05

Couldn't she practisr with the headphones and then play to your family at the end of the session, when she feels 'performance ready'?

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 18/05/2018 12:10

So turn it down??

I'll try that with my neighbour & her kids that are continually noisy at all hours of the day....

Or - I could just be tolerant & accept that, unless I live on the moon, I'm likely to hear the other people on the planet sometimes.....

PintOfMineralWater · 18/05/2018 12:11

YANBU. Wish my neighbours played piano, all I hear is cussing.

Furano · 18/05/2018 12:16

30 mins practice a day, at a predictable time, is fine.

It’s part of living with other people. You have to expect a certain amount of noise from other people.

The neighbours could always wear moose canceling head phones if it bothered them!

PeterPiperPickedSeaShells · 18/05/2018 12:27

Moose cancelling Grin

NoSquirrels · 18/05/2018 12:33

What you appear to want from this thread, OP, is for everyone to say:

Piano playing is wonderful! How wonderful that your child wants to practise, and share with you, and how wonderful that you love to share it too! Thirty minutes a day is NOTHING! What mean old people those neighbours are - of course you can completely ignore them!

But LOADS of posters, pianists among them, are saying - yes, piano practise is brilliant, yes 30 minutes is not long, but as you are aware your neighbours are unhappy, perhaps you could compromise even just a little...

Being a good neighbour does sometimes mean modifying your behaviour. You appear to be wound up by their window-cleanliness and think this is somehow a reason to ignore them. Teach your DD that compromise is not shameful, that she can still get what she needs whilst making sure others are not overly inconvenienced.

Beetlewing · 18/05/2018 12:35

They're probably the sort that would complain about the smell of cowshit if they lived in the countryside, or kids on aeroplanes. If they don't like neighbour noise they shouldn't live in a flat fgs

callmeadoctor · 18/05/2018 12:40

The OP is sure that she is reasonable so our replies are no longer needed! Grin

Dungeondragon15 · 18/05/2018 13:34

The OP is sure that she is reasonable so our replies are no longer needed!

Some people think she is reasonable though! It's not much noise and it is only for half an hour. People need to learn to be more tolerant. OP would be willing to arrange a time for the practice during which they could wear ear plugs or just get a grip.

Oldbutstillgotit · 18/05/2018 14:10

OP has said that her DD does her scales in addition to her 30 daily practice but not how long that takes. What is coming over us that the OP flatly refuses to accept that some sort of compromise could be negotiated.

Dungeondragon15 · 18/05/2018 14:45

She probably doesn't practice scales for that long if it's grade 4 and although they could be practised with headphones after the exam but I can understand that prior to the exam, it is a good idea to do those without headphones if she wants her parents to listen/help.