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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have told woman at college to get a life?

103 replies

OnTheporch · 17/05/2018 12:46

Currently doing a health course at college. I've become friendly with another woman on the course and we sit and work together. On a few occasions she's kicked off about marking, saying she deserved higher marks and that the marking was not consistent. She's very competitive and needs to be the best of the best so to speak. Complete opposite of me, I couldn't give a shit as long as I pass the bloody thing.

Anyway last week we received some work back and she'd got a merit rather than her usual distinction. She beckoned the tutor over and made her explain why. The woman then kicked off saying marking wasn't consistent and the course was ridiculous as the marking wasn't regulated. The tutor asked her to calm down and said she'd still got good marks and a merit was the mark of the average student. Big mistake - this woman then screamed that she didn't want to be an average student, she wanted to be a top student. She was crying and really putting on a performance. Everyone was staring.

Anyway, yesterday we received more work back. She'd got a distinction and low and behold, so did I. She then demanded to look at my work to make sure the marking was consistent. That is when she noticed we'd both put the same answer to one question, hers was marked wrong, mine was marked right. So fair enough, inconsistent. She beckoned the tutor over and asked her to explain how two same answers could receive different marks. Tutor looked flustered and said it was just the way the answers were worded. The woman kicked off saying that wasn't good enough, either the answers were wrong or right and said she wanted hers marked right. Tutor explained she'd already got the top grade so it wouldn't effect her overall score. Woman screamed that that wasn't the point. In the end the tutor said she couldn't mark hers right, all she could do was mark mine wrong which would drop me out of the distinction and onto a merit. Woman demanded that she do that then. So she did, whilst apologising profoundly to me.

I said "don't worry about it, I have bigger things to worry about than whether I get a merit or distinction on one bit of work!" And laughed.

Woman took this personally and said it was clearly a dig at her and did I have a problem with her. By this point I'd had enough of her tantrums so said "yeah actually, I think you need to get a life getting so upset over such daft things! Christ I wish that was all I had to worry about in life!".

She screamed full screech "fuck you!" And gathered her things and left. Everyone was gobsmacked.

Was I out of order or did she need telling???

OP posts:
JenBarber · 17/05/2018 12:49

I think the teacher comes out worse, tbh.

wowfudge · 17/05/2018 12:52

Bloody hell. Well it seems she's right about inconsistent marking, but she cost you a higher grade and still behaved appallingly. I wouldn't share anything with her again. The tutor should have refused to get into a discussion with her publicly on both occasions.

MightyMucks · 17/05/2018 12:53

But she was right. She might have handled it badly, but she was completely correct about the marking not being consistent.

BasilFaulty · 17/05/2018 12:54

What the actual bloody hell???! Of course YANBU!!!
And I fail to see how the teacher comes out worse than screaming, shouting and swearing Jenbarber Hmm
Give her a wide berth OP.

TheBogWitchIsBack · 17/05/2018 12:54

Fucking hell shes deranged. The tutor should have stood her ground and stood by her original mark though.

kaytee87 · 17/05/2018 12:54

The tutors clearly a lazy marker and woman should have complained to a higher up. Was she really crying and screaming in class?
She sounds ott but I wouldn't have made an obvious dig at her like that.

Againfaster · 17/05/2018 12:55

haha she needed telling! good for you Grin

CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 12:55

She sounds like an OTT nightmare, tutor sounds like a spineless idiot who doesn't know what she's doing. Between the two of them I think you did very well not to punch anyone Grin

justilou1 · 17/05/2018 12:55

Nope! She needs to be told that this course is not about her. I am fairly sure that you are all doing this to get into the workforce and while passing the course is a requirement, another is the ability to work WITH people. I imagine that at the end of your course, your lecturers and tutors will be providing feedback to future employers and possibly picking job experience placements. Surely she must realize that her behaviour affects these decisions... She clearly needs to learn to control her outbursts as they will be affecting the atmosphere for everyone. Perhaps you can speak to the tutor and ask her to suggest counselling?

Highhorse1981 · 17/05/2018 12:56

Oh come on OP

Admit it. You’re exaggerating massively.

Guavaf1sh · 17/05/2018 12:56

YANBU - she sounds like a very narcissistic person and I feel sorry for the teacher

DialMforMordor · 17/05/2018 12:56

Blimey. I hope this isn't some kind of Anger Management health course you're on...

SleepFreeZone · 17/05/2018 12:56

Woah, that lady is certainly no friend of yours!!

LoveInTokyo · 17/05/2018 12:57

I would complain and ask for your original mark to be reinstated. Why the hell should you lose out because this little princess can’t cope with not getting 100% in everything?

In any case, she is wasting her time and money because she’s probably completely unemployable however good her grade’s are.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 17/05/2018 12:58

You’re a mug OP!! First for letting her look at your work and then secondly Shock you let a tutor mark your correct work incorrect, dropping you out of a distinction to pacify a tantrumming adult?? Shock have you no backbone?

Nikephorus · 17/05/2018 12:58

The tutor is wrong for being inconsistent, she was wrong if she really screamed, you were wrong for your response which you knew would wind her up further.

Trinity66 · 17/05/2018 13:04

She sounds a bit unhinged, I'd finding a new seat tbh

MightyMucks · 17/05/2018 13:08

little princess can’t cope with not getting 100% in everything?

She’s not asking for 100%. She’s asking to be marked correctly. Courses are bloody expensive these days so you want to get your money’s worth.

It sounds like this teacher may have been actively marking this woman down as she dislikes her. That’s unprofessional and not fair. The correct thing for the teacher to have done in this situation would have been to accept her marking had fallen short and submitted it to a colleague for review. Dumping the OP down a mark sounds like an arse covering exercise to cover up for her fuck up.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 17/05/2018 13:08

Yeah, look ... something does not quite ring true re this.

I suggest you look at your institution's assessment policy because in most instances what the tutor did was massively unethical - mostly for having the conversation in public (but not only that, that's just the start).

MiggeldyHiggins · 17/05/2018 13:10

So she has a work ethic, cares about her grades, you both have a shitty inconsistent teacher and she also has to put up with the likes of you, who don't give a crap about the course, accidentally doing better than her? No, she doesn't need to get a life, you do.

PinkHeart5914 · 17/05/2018 13:11

Ah what you’ve got there is a crocodile tears performer! The old oh look at me I can them on like a tap.

Look Susan you work was only good enough for a merit, either work harder or stop sodding complaining!

MiggeldyHiggins · 17/05/2018 13:12

No what we have here is an exaggerating OP trying to make the other person sound awful when really its them.

PlausibleSuit · 17/05/2018 13:13

Lot of screaming going on for a health course tbh. Is she going to be like that when she can't get the catheter in?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 17/05/2018 13:13

I'm sorry but id have been pissing myself laughing. If it's not drama she's doing she definitely should be. Shed certainly get a distinction for that, no messing.
Throwing a tantrum like that. My 5 year old nephew is more mature.

SmashedMug · 17/05/2018 13:13

Well, she wasn't wrong was she? Marking is inconsistent.