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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have told woman at college to get a life?

103 replies

OnTheporch · 17/05/2018 12:46

Currently doing a health course at college. I've become friendly with another woman on the course and we sit and work together. On a few occasions she's kicked off about marking, saying she deserved higher marks and that the marking was not consistent. She's very competitive and needs to be the best of the best so to speak. Complete opposite of me, I couldn't give a shit as long as I pass the bloody thing.

Anyway last week we received some work back and she'd got a merit rather than her usual distinction. She beckoned the tutor over and made her explain why. The woman then kicked off saying marking wasn't consistent and the course was ridiculous as the marking wasn't regulated. The tutor asked her to calm down and said she'd still got good marks and a merit was the mark of the average student. Big mistake - this woman then screamed that she didn't want to be an average student, she wanted to be a top student. She was crying and really putting on a performance. Everyone was staring.

Anyway, yesterday we received more work back. She'd got a distinction and low and behold, so did I. She then demanded to look at my work to make sure the marking was consistent. That is when she noticed we'd both put the same answer to one question, hers was marked wrong, mine was marked right. So fair enough, inconsistent. She beckoned the tutor over and asked her to explain how two same answers could receive different marks. Tutor looked flustered and said it was just the way the answers were worded. The woman kicked off saying that wasn't good enough, either the answers were wrong or right and said she wanted hers marked right. Tutor explained she'd already got the top grade so it wouldn't effect her overall score. Woman screamed that that wasn't the point. In the end the tutor said she couldn't mark hers right, all she could do was mark mine wrong which would drop me out of the distinction and onto a merit. Woman demanded that she do that then. So she did, whilst apologising profoundly to me.

I said "don't worry about it, I have bigger things to worry about than whether I get a merit or distinction on one bit of work!" And laughed.

Woman took this personally and said it was clearly a dig at her and did I have a problem with her. By this point I'd had enough of her tantrums so said "yeah actually, I think you need to get a life getting so upset over such daft things! Christ I wish that was all I had to worry about in life!".

She screamed full screech "fuck you!" And gathered her things and left. Everyone was gobsmacked.

Was I out of order or did she need telling???

OP posts:
Lilostitch · 17/05/2018 13:44

She is right though.. it is an inconsistent joke.

mostdays · 17/05/2018 13:47

She sounds like she has issues.
The tutor sounds like she needs some support, tbh. Changing your mark because another student is unhappy just sounds like bad practise.

mostdays · 17/05/2018 13:48

However, I don't see anything wrong with the attitude of trying always for the best marks and to be the best in the class.

Trying to get the best marks possible is one thing, focussing on being the best in the class is less healthy, imo.

picklemepopcorn · 17/05/2018 13:49

This makes no sense. Why could she change your mark, but not the other woman's? Why didn't she change the one which was incorrectly marked?

TumbleWeedTilly · 17/05/2018 13:59

I wouldn't want anyone marking my work who would change my grade on the say so of some mad woman screaming about it

Juells · 17/05/2018 14:00

^^this

SayImADreamer · 17/05/2018 14:02

YABU the woman is right.

Maybe this course is extremely important to the woman.

Maybe shes dragged herself out of a shit situation and is banking on this to follow her dream or massively improve her life.

You've explained it to us and the marking clearly IS inconsistent. She wants her work to be marked accurately. If people who give incorrect answers, as you did, are given a distinction, then the label is completely devalued.

The woman was wrong for screaming fuck off.

The teacher is wrong for doing such a shitty job.

You are wrong for presuming everyone is as half arsed and unacademic as you.

I think the woman comes out best in this scenario, the teacher comes out worst, and you in the middle.

kaytee87 · 17/05/2018 14:06

@Slightlyperturbedowlagain the reason I say lazy marker is not because of the odd mistake but the way in which the tutor 'fixed' the clear mistake.

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 17/05/2018 14:08

Not unreasonable at all.

How is she going to cope with her bosses and colleagues if things don't go her way?

More importantly if she's got patients and they disagree with her?

Yes tutor may well have been wrong but if so, she should have complained to her superior, not had a screaming fit and then dragged you in.

Sounds like she's lived a very sheltered life and used to getting her own way.

Luisa27 · 17/05/2018 14:11

@.......”reach out” 😂

Noooooooooooooooooo 😱😱😱

ThenCameTheFools · 17/05/2018 14:14

I hope she is going to complain about the extremely unprofessional, not to say crap, teacher.

amusedbush · 17/05/2018 14:16

Admit it. You’re exaggerating massively.

Not necessarily. I went back to college in the evenings a couple of years ago and there was a woman on my course who was like this. Everything was incredibly dramatic with lots of crying, shouting and storming out "to gather her thoughts". She dropped out.

Banana8080 · 17/05/2018 14:16

You’re my hero!!!!!

Juells · 17/05/2018 14:17

@SayImADreamer

If people who give incorrect answers, as you did, are given a distinction, then the label is completely devalued.

Where did it say the OP's answer was wrong? It was obviously right, if the other woman's answer was the same and was subsequently marked right.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/05/2018 14:17

@OnTheporch
Someone has started a thread using the behaviour of this woman as an example and saying she is possibly autistic. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3251904-To-think-people-forget-that-autistic-people-grow-into-adults?msgid=77935113

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 17/05/2018 14:19

@SayImADreamer Someone screaming comes out well? Rightly so she should have got it dealt with, but by taking it higher not wailing like a banshee in class.

Also we don't know the OP was incorrect. In some subjects I've done when I've seen test papers a few words can make all the difference, especially if they are technical words in that field.

Also she got OPs grade dropped even though it wouldn't improve hers. Even if she wanted fairness, why would she want to humiliate and dock points off her classmate? It's not as if she could gain anything from it.

I think like a P.P said she likely has parents who expect her to do well at everything and is possibly quite spoilt.

To not be able to reign in her temper in front of a whole group speaks volumes.

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 17/05/2018 14:22

@Mummyoflittledragon facepalm no matter what the issue is autism is trotted out.

No - some people have ~gasp~ different personalities.

LoveInTokyo · 17/05/2018 14:23

And some people’s personalities are not very pleasant!

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/05/2018 14:28

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune
I love your username. I agree, on here at least. Not so irl. The op is stating quite the opposite actually.

LoveInTokyo
Exactly. This woman could just be a madam, who is used to getting her own way in life. Fair few of those around.

PositivelyPERF · 17/05/2018 14:29

Someone has started a thread using the behaviour of this woman as an example and saying she is possibly autistic

Oh for fuck sake! I was just going to comment that I was waiting for someone to suggest that she might be autistic. eyes rolled so far back I can see behind me

PositivelyPERF · 17/05/2018 14:30

BTW Mummyoflittledragon I wasn’t getting at you. I’ve seen you post before and I know you’ve more sense that the twit on the other thread.

rosesandflowers · 17/05/2018 14:32

Very possible the wording would have got her marked down. I think the way you say things, rather than just the overall concept, matters a lot more these days. My daughters doing her GCSE'S (not the same thing, obviously) and I was looking through the mark scheme of a practice paper - waa shocked how difficult getting marks were!

But, from the tutors spineless response I'd say lazy marking is very possible. Still, if it didn't change the grade (even if it did) what a ridiculous reaction! While you were a bit harsh I don't blame you.

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 17/05/2018 14:32

@Mummyoflittledragon I totally agree. It could be a variety of different reasons but no offence to her but that's not the OPs issue. Hers is having a sap of a teacher and Caligula reincarnate.

BakedBeans47 · 17/05/2018 14:34

She sounds like a nutcase. I’d have told her to fuck off a long time ago so IMO YANBU

even if she was right it’s no reason to act like a dick!

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/05/2018 14:38

PositivelyPERF
That’s fine. Read loud and clear. I love eye roll comments, make me chortle.

NotAnotherNoughties
Exactly not ops issue at all. But made so as you say by these 2 idiots.

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