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AIBU?

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Original poster

Or is Meghan Markle making the right choice?

454 replies

CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 12:31

I don't know if it actually was her choice or her father's, but it seems to me that it's the right decision for him not to come to the wedding.

He's obviously not at all well and needs to recover from his heart attack. He is also obviously wildly in over his head with the media. I think Kensington Palace have something to answer for there as they should have taken him under their wing from the start and given him more help in dealing with press speculation. But the damage is done and now he has caused himself and his daughter a lot of heartache - that must be causing him stress, and I think he will be happier and more healthy for missing it.

I really feel for Meghan. She obviously had quite a complex and uneasy relationship with her dad. She must feel so betrayed that he went behind her back to have these press photographs taken, and it seems he is also texting gossip fodder directly to TMZ. While there are mitigating factors, he very clearly hasn't been putting his daughter's wellbeing first. If he had, she'd be able to have her dad at her wedding and now she can't.

I hope she still has a great day on Saturday, and that her father recovers, and that she's able to move on from this and have a reasonable relationship with him.

OP posts:
PortiaCastis · 17/05/2018 12:35

If her father is ill he cannot attend so that's an end to it and the endless speculation will not change anything

Original poster
CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 12:37

Yes, although I suspect that he probably could attend if it came to it - but I expect the associated media circus has made it much more stressful and undesirable for him, even if his physical health permits.

OP posts:
LanguidLobster · 17/05/2018 12:37

Really don't know. Press reporting on this has been hugely distortive. Just hope he recovers shortly.

CanIBuffalo · 17/05/2018 12:38

Dunno.
But I bet if they both worked in Tesco she wouldn't give him the time of day.

AmericanPastoral · 17/05/2018 12:38

Would a loving, caring daughter not want to go and see her father before such important surgery?

Lottapianos · 17/05/2018 12:39

I really feel for her. Her father's behaviour has been far from dignified and the rest of the family don't seem to be able to stay out of it either. I would be utterly mortified if I were her, not that she has done anything to be ashamed of. It's all just fodder for the snobby Daily Mail types who think she's not good enough for the likes of us and it's a shame that the run up to her wedding has turned into a circus

Original poster
CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 12:40

@AmericanPastoral is he having surgery? My understanding was that he was in recovery at this point.

I think Meghan's relationship with her mum shows that she is a loving daughter - but she obviously doesn't have the same relationship with her dad. None of us know why that is, but I doubts it's as straightforward as her just being a terrible daughter.

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BarbarianMum · 17/05/2018 12:41

Could he? My BiL wasn't allowed to fly for several weeks after his heart attack. Or are you saying he should chance it and come uninsured?

Original poster
CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 12:42

@Lottapianos I totally agree, there has been some really bad behaviour but not from her!

I think the palace press team have really managed this badly - I think they were naive to assume that her father could be trusted to handle press etc himself. And her half siblings have form for being terrible. I think Meghan has been let down by her family and by the palace.

OP posts:
DuchyDuke · 17/05/2018 12:42

Her dad’s side of the family have thus far not said a good word about her. From that alone it can be inferred that she isn’t as close to them. Her mum’s side haven’t been invited to the wedding either, but you don’t see them selling their stories.

Original poster
CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 12:43

@BarbarianMum no, of course he shouldn't - if that's the case he certainly shouldn't fly, but we don't know the facts. In any case as I said - I think it's the right decision for him not to attend because he should be focusing on his health.

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wildgarlicflowers · 17/05/2018 12:44

If I loved my father as much as Megan seems to suggest by the description of her being 'devastated' I would be postponing the wedding until he was better. I would also be by his side at the hospital, especially after a heart attack.

So either the heart attack and surgery didn't happen and is a smoke screen for his inability or desire not to attend the wedding.

or she is an unscrupulous person.

Either way the hideous half sister ended up in a car crash (not seriously hurt I might add) but injured enough to remind her there is such a thing as karma, and sometimes it returns its favours instantly.

RedDogsBeg · 17/05/2018 12:45

All this Kensington Palace should have taken him under their wing - how do we know that they didn't offer to do just that and he refused? Also, if he was struggling with the Press attention he could quite easily have picked up the phone to his daughter and asked for help which would never have been refused. Why is the blame for his actions and the consequences of them being placed at the door of the Royals and Meghan, where is his responsibility in all this? He has a tongue in his head and access to phones, internet, etc., is it beyond his wit to use them?

He seems to be a recluse and, I hate to say it, not at all interested in his daughter and her forthcoming marriage.

MightyMucks · 17/05/2018 12:45

The siblings seem to be the ones at fault here. One encouraged him to do the photos and he blames the heart attack on their behaviour.

I think at the start it seemed a bit weird her family were excluded, but their behaviour has made it totally understandable.

AmericanPastoral · 17/05/2018 12:46

wildgarlic thanks - I was coming on to post exactly what you have written, but probably not as well Smile

Apologies in advance - Daily Fail alert - but it's hard to disagree with most of what the vile SV has written here

Homemenu1 · 17/05/2018 12:46

Still it makes the Windsor look fairly normal so he’s done them a huge favour. However they have treated Meghan family and in turn her with complete disregard. They clearly don’t learn

mycatistoofat · 17/05/2018 12:48

Postpone the wedding? Not sure that's an option is it.

Agree with RedDog don't blame KP without knowing the other side of the story which undoubtedly we never will really.

Original poster
CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 12:48

@wildgarlicflowers you might think twice about postponing your wedding if it was taxpayer funded and had involved massive coordination between council / police / palace! It's not like she's just losing the deposit on a hotel reception is it?

I also think it would be possible for her to be devastated and not fly to his side. Love is complicated and many people have difficult relationships with parents who they love dearly but who have let them down or with whom they have had difficult experiences. You only have to look at the MN relationships board to see that!

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Sidge · 17/05/2018 12:48

I don’t think he’s had heart problems at all. I think it’s all a cover for him not being welcome.

Easier for the palace PR teams to put out the story that he’s not well enough to attend rather than he’s a complete embarrassment and liability.

Homemenu1 · 17/05/2018 12:49

would be postponing the wedding until he was better.

Of course they can’t cancel, the time, money and amount of people make it impossible to cancel. Remember she is joining a family of people who have put duty above absolutely everything

Didiusfalco · 17/05/2018 12:50

I think he is overwhelmed by the situation, as most normal people would be.

I don’t think she is unreasonable for not postponing/jetting over there. They clearly don’t have a close Father/daughter relationship or he would have met Prince Harry by now.

Original poster
CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 12:50

Reddog that's very true, I am assuming they didn't try. But I think they could have arranged for Harry etc to meet him in advance and bring him into the fold a bit. But they may well have their reasons for why that didn't happen.

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ScattyCharly · 17/05/2018 12:51

Whatever the ins and outs of MM's family, the press have feasted like vultures on all of them. It's gross.

Lottapianos · 17/05/2018 12:51

'So either the heart attack and surgery didn't happen and is a smoke screen for his inability or desire not to attend the wedding.'

I think this might well be the case

I thought the wording of Meghan's statement was interesting - she has always 'cared for' her father. It sounded polite and quite formal, no reference to being heartbroken or how much he will be missed etc, although maybe that's not deemed appropriate royal language or whatever.

I have a pretty iffy relationship with my parents so she gets absolutely zero judgement from me. It's all very easy to say what a daughter 'should' be doing in this situation, but none of us have a clue about what her actual relationship with her father is like. I hope she's not feeling devastated and is able to look forward to Saturday

PortiaCastis · 17/05/2018 12:53

Yes Scatty the bottom feeding vultures are gross