Or is Meghan Markle making the right choice?

[CaliforniaDream]

I don't know if it actually was her choice or her father's, but it seems to me that it's the right decision for him not to come to the wedding.

He's obviously not at all well and needs to recover from his heart attack. He is also obviously wildly in over his head with the media. I think Kensington Palace have something to answer for there as they should have taken him under their wing from the start and given him more help in dealing with press speculation. But the damage is done and now he has caused himself and his daughter a lot of heartache - that must be causing him stress, and I think he will be happier and more healthy for missing it.

I really feel for Meghan. She obviously had quite a complex and uneasy relationship with her dad. She must feel so betrayed that he went behind her back to have these press photographs taken, and it seems he is also texting gossip fodder directly to TMZ. While there are mitigating factors, he very clearly hasn't been putting his daughter's wellbeing first. If he had, she'd be able to have her dad at her wedding and now she can't.

I hope she still has a great day on Saturday, and that her father recovers, and that she's able to move on from this and have a reasonable relationship with him.

"However awful Meghan's family are it's still less of a fiasco than the disastrous marriage between Charles and Diana"

Well we don't yet know if this marriage will be a fiasco!

Was there constant coverage about Diana's faily in the lead up?

@diddl no idea, I wasn't alive then. But what we do know is that Charles married Diana because she was considered a suitable match. He never loved her. He was in love with Camilla from the start, but not allowed to marry her. Charles and Diana would never have been happy together because it wasn't a union based on love and respect.

It's much, much better for Harry and William to have been allowed to choose their partners for themselves with no thought of how 'suitable' their respective families were.

One thing I hate about weddings in general is the fixation on the 'big day' rather than the actual marriage of two people who, even if from very different backgrounds, could potentially be very happy together-albeit negotiating some tricky situations.This is their first one. Played out in public and a much bigger day than most granted.However all the fuss about who is giving her away ?It's her second marriage and what modern woman wants to be given away ?I do feel for her if she genuinely would like her father to be there.And feel sorry for her with her outspoken half siblings.I'm no raging royalist but wish them well and hope they can still have a joyful day.

I feel really sorry for Meghan Markle - her family seems like a nightmare; the step-brother writing that open letter to Prince Harry, the father agreeing to having those pictures taken, and the step-sister getting the father into that paparazzi picture stuff and now claiming that she and her boyfriend had a confrontation with the paparazzi, resulting in a car crash meaning she may have broken her ankle and fractured her knee.

That side of the family are not supporting Meghan, and they are not interested in doing what's best for her - they seem to be quite unpleasant and selfish.
If they were my family, I wouldn't want to invite them to my wedding either.
On top of that, Markle's nephew (the son of her step-brother) seems to be a cannabis farmer and he is planning on naming a strain after MM. I don't think that's the family member you invite to the royal wedding in a country where weed is not legal.

I don't know if the heart attack is real or not, but the father has been well enough to talk to TMZ. I think he would look far more trustworthy if he stopped talking to the media and focused on recovering.

Her mother's family haven't been invited either so I wonder what reason was given for that decision. MM doesn't seem to have invited very many actual family members more friends. It'll be interesting to watch on Saturday nonetheless.

Exactly...if she is on more cordial terms with her mother’s side of the family, then why aren’t they there either?? Sounds to me like MM has tried to reinvent herself along the way....and has utilised family & friends along the way. Her Dad’s family may lack etiquette and have behaved less than admirably with all this, but family estrangements happen for a reason, and it seems that they may well have a point!

I admire the work of the Queen and I hate to see the Queen embarrassed again like this, she has worked tirelessly to promote the dignity and respect of the royal family and this not fitting way for a wedding to be conducted.

Compared to Charles's wedding? Compared to Margaret's wedding?

To be honest I don't think the script writers for the Crown series 10 will even bother to cover this.

I think that even if her nightmare of a father hadn't had a heart procedure done, the Royals would have found a way to keep him from attending the wedding.

He made a complete fool of himself, embarrassed his daughter and the whole Royal family, with that idiotic photo scam.

I really can't make the man out. Is he a bit thick? HOW did he not see how totally inappropriate the photo session was, especially as the Palace had gone out of it's way to warn the press off bothering him.

Then there's the mother who has agreed to do a Q and A session with Oprah sometime after the wedding!

Harry, what have you done?!

I was kinda looking forward to the wedding mainly to see her dress and Harry and that she was mixed race

Right now with all this going on I’m so over it and my suspicion from the start was right - Harry is too good for her

With regards to KP press relations managing the other family members, didn't the rogue brother apparently try and get help from KP regarding all the press intrusion (his past was dug up, whatever you think of him) and was told via a rep to kindly bugger orf.

So then your other news networks will kindly step in with a friendly altruistic handshake and do the job instead. Aka your TMZs, ABCs, Good Morning Britain, faked photos.

Notice the sister, said the father was botherd by the negative perception in the press of him so she advised him to hire the photographer and do some positive self PR. Which backfired spectacularly.

Where has the help been?

It was a huge mistake to not try and consolidate the family. Now they feel snubbed and justified in hating and will go on and on doing so.

Ooooh! More spitefull bitching about Meghan! How unusual.

I'll be amazed if Freddie and Gabriella Windsor et al aren't there. What a snub! They all go to the Queen's lunch pre-Christmas together. It's not that many people and when you have capacity for 800 it really is terribly hurtful to leave them out. I know people are saying they didn't invite their third cousins to their wedding but the royals are different. They do see their third cousins (descendants of the queen's first cousins) at all the big occasions. They grew up alongside each other at KP. It's not like me not inviting my third cousins, people who I have never met!

The mother is going on Oprah?!!!!! Seriously?

Meghan and her family are an absolute disgrace and making a mockery of the Royal family. They are a totally dysfunctional family. I am very surprised that Meghan hasn't dropped everything to visit her father. When my father was dying, I wouldn't leave his side until his last breath.

However, I know how distressing and upsetting it is to not have my father with me on my wedding day so I can sympathise with her on that level.

I don't believe Mr Markle is anywhere close to dying.

Is the mum really going on Oprah? There I was thinking her mum was the only diginfied and decent one in Meghans life, what a shame if true as who the hell can she expect in her family to stay loyal to her if her mother can't even manage to!

Harry, what have you done?!

Decided to marry somebody he loves.

I doubt that this is worse than the very public break down of his parent's marriage or his mother's death, and it's not nearly as embarrassing as Charles and the tampons.

Perhaps Meghan's family were thrown in at the deep end, but surely Harry is the last person to be surprised by the behaviour of the press? However, what is he supposed to do - not get married? Only marry somebody whose family members have been vetted - who would that be?

I was a bit meh about Meghan, felt sorry for her with her dads staged photos.
However, as this has evolved, i feel desperately sorry for Thomas Markle, vulnerable and alone after surgery. His daughter graced him with a text message.

Her personal statement, “I have always cared for my father”, is up there with “whatever love means”. Huge red flag.
Then she is pictured laughing and smiling on her way to tea with the queen. I would be devastated if my dad had just had heart surgery.

I’m wondering if there isn’t an element of truth in what the half siblings are saying.

Am 100% sure Meghan will be walking herself down the aisle. This wedding is all about Meghan

Meghan and her family are a disgrace and making a mockery of the Royal Family

Looks like they’re outsourcing the making a mockery duties now as they’ve always managed pretty well to make themselves look bad before. Andrew, Fergie, Charles’ infedelity from day one when he married Diana, Prince Harry in his nazi fancy dress, Beatrice & Eugenie on a never ending holiday, Prince Philips xenophobic faux pas etc.

I think they should have a quiet wedding with Meghan's family in the USA and drag the royals over there to slum it at an ordinary wedding.
Harry's way down the list of succession now. It's a circus.

I would be devastated if my dad had just had heart surgery

Unless he didn't really have a heart attack.

The HA was very conveniently timed, it's a way of putting a sad spin on him not turning up to his own daughters wedding to a Prince, gives him an excuse, and quells the heat over the staged photos.

Notice in that message the huge glaring omission of hope he gets well. The message is clinical and non-specific - a wish for him to be given space to focus on his health. Come on, is this a message anyone would send to a father in such a serious state of ill health, if it were true?

Perhaps he had angina, and has ongoing issues. But certainly not a big, out of the blue attack.

Otherwise she just sounds cold. And I don't think she's as cold as that.

I don't think he was going to come and in this I do feel sorry her and think his behaviour is inexcusable.

The Queen aside, it's difficult to see how the Markles are any worse than the Windsors - and when it comes to British monarch's the Queen's life of quiet duty has been the exception rather than the rule.

Harry's marrying into one classy family.

And he's marrying a mixed-race, divorcee with not a trace of aristocratic blood in her veins to boot. Bloody good for him. I expect he doesn't give a flying fuck what any judgy fuckwits think.

I hope they both have a wonderful wedding day and a long and happy life together.

I think we all know why wild is "disappointed" that Harry is getting married to Meghan and "ordinary" has nothing to do with it

Is that right? It must be because of the colour of her skin, yes? Just must be...because, it’s not as if she’s a fully functioning human being with an actual personality or anything, is it? No..she’s just a skin colour with nothing else to define her so if anyone dislikes her, that can be the only reason. Am I right?

I don’t like her at all, so I must be racist. Except...I wouldn’t kick Idris Elba out of bed for eating biscuits, so maybe I’m not? Oh wait...I can’t stand Lenny Henry either, so maybe....oh, it’s OK, my very high regard for Morgan Freeman has rescued me. Hasn’t it? Hmmm. So difficult to know. Maybe I’m a part-time racist, a bit like Markle being a part-time vegan, a part-time feminist and a part-time humanitarian.

But the “poor Meghan” posts are ridiculous.

Facts.....

• She hasn’t troubled to introduce her “adored” father to her future husband yet although she’s had plenty of time to swan off to Monaco, Chicago & the Cotswolds.

• She and Harry have offered him no support of any kind and were clearly hoping to just wheel him out for his role on their “special day” without making any effort to bring him into the fold and make him feel included beforehand.

• Andrew Morton, just a week or so ago, was expressing concern that Doria would be the only family member at the wedding and that Dad still didn’t have a suit, a plane ticket or accommodation lined up.

• Several days after his “heart attack” she still hadn’t spoken to him on the phone.

• He’s been updating an online gossip rag regarding his health...something that he simply wouldn’t do if his “adoring” daughter was bothering with him.

So, poor Meghan nothing. When you shit on people on the way up, your way back down will be very messy. She didn’t want her obese, off-brand, poverty stricken father showing her up in front of “the family she never had”. Charming.

And stop blaming Kensington Palace. He’s her fucking father, not theirs.

I wonder why Mrs M has only just turned up? I don’t like all the meanness, but I do agree with SV’s observation that she’ll have awful jet lag.