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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is Meghan Markle making the right choice?

454 replies

CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 12:31

I don't know if it actually was her choice or her father's, but it seems to me that it's the right decision for him not to come to the wedding.

He's obviously not at all well and needs to recover from his heart attack. He is also obviously wildly in over his head with the media. I think Kensington Palace have something to answer for there as they should have taken him under their wing from the start and given him more help in dealing with press speculation. But the damage is done and now he has caused himself and his daughter a lot of heartache - that must be causing him stress, and I think he will be happier and more healthy for missing it.

I really feel for Meghan. She obviously had quite a complex and uneasy relationship with her dad. She must feel so betrayed that he went behind her back to have these press photographs taken, and it seems he is also texting gossip fodder directly to TMZ. While there are mitigating factors, he very clearly hasn't been putting his daughter's wellbeing first. If he had, she'd be able to have her dad at her wedding and now she can't.

I hope she still has a great day on Saturday, and that her father recovers, and that she's able to move on from this and have a reasonable relationship with him.

OP posts:
AmeliaScott · 21/05/2018 12:27

I amazed at how certain and well informed people are about an event they weren't at and a woman they have never met. Hmm

Mumto2two · 21/05/2018 12:53

No more informed than anyone else Hmm
Just noting what has been widely reported...the fact Mrs Markle was the one and only family member to attend.

Mumto2two · 21/05/2018 12:56

And given that this was a large 600 guests plus wedding, not some quiet budget affair....I’d say that’s quite some statement.

ajandjjmum · 21/05/2018 12:56

Not happily though raisedbyguineapigs

I really hope they are happy together.

AmeliaScott · 21/05/2018 14:22

So what if MM's mum was the only member of family there? Maybe they don't have a big family. Maybe they didn't want to come. Maybe they weren't invited. The possibilities are endless. The point is, none of us know because we weren't party to the decisions made. Mine and DHs family are tiny. 3 on DHs side and 4 on mine. Not all of us have a big group of aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents to fill the pews.

RoseWhiteTips · 21/05/2018 14:43

I felt sorry for MM’s mother. I feel even the style of her hat was chosen - by the Big Them, no doubt - to hide her cornrows style. Hmmmmm

RoseWhiteTips · 21/05/2018 14:47

All the people who compared her to Wallis Simpson forget that she stuck with Edward until his death.

That was THEN. Their marriage created a scandal etc etc and Wallis Simpson had no choice. She had made her bed and simply had to lie in it.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 21/05/2018 16:07

Just noting what has been widely reported...the fact Mrs Markle was the one and only family member to attend.

You don't seem very well informed at all if you think there was a Mrs Markle at the wedding

GalwayWayfarer · 21/05/2018 16:32

I felt sorry for MM’s mother. I feel even the style of her hat was chosen - by the Big Them, no doubt - to hide her cornrows style. Hmmmmm

If this were true, they did a piss poor job since her hair was beautifully on show. I'd like to see what magical hat doesn't hide at least part of the wearers hair.

Or is Meghan Markle making the right choice?
RoseWhiteTips · 21/05/2018 16:37

GalwayWayfarer:

...they did a piss poor job...

Impressive.🙄

GalwayWayfarer · 21/05/2018 16:45

@RoseWhiteTips sorry for poor choice of words. I means to say they did a fucking awful job. Or perhaps I meant a truly shitty one? Hard to say.

Mumto2two · 21/05/2018 16:59

Always somebody bored on here..looking for a post to nit pick...clearly nothing better to do Hmm
Mrs Markle..or whatever she is known by..you know full well it was in reference to MM’s mother, so why the need for the smart pedantics?

RoseWhiteTips · 21/05/2018 17:02

I think you need to widen your vocabulary. Lollol

GalwayWayfarer · 21/05/2018 17:03

I think you need to widen your mind, but no danger of that happening.

ajandjjmum · 21/05/2018 18:25

Doria Ragland is the bride's mother.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 21/05/2018 18:27

Always somebody bored on here..looking for a post to nit pick...clearly nothing better to do
Mrs Markle..or whatever she is known by..you know full well it was in reference to MM’s mother, so why the need for the smart pedantics?

I wouldn't usually nit pick and certainlynwoyldnt pull someone up on spelling or grammar but you're on here claiming to know about Meghan and how many guests she invited and you can't even get the basics rights

Mumto2two · 21/05/2018 18:36

Ilikefriedchicken...You are clearly being goady..and for what reason? Are you just like this generally?
When have I EVER claimed to know this lady or anything about her??? Go on...please do show me one sentence that has ever suggested that? Or are your comprehension skills really that of a 5 year old?
I have commented on what has been reported in the press...end of. Please stop being a silly troll

ILikeMyChickenFried · 21/05/2018 20:27

Erm ok? Hmm

RoseWhiteTips · 23/05/2018 10:05

The bride did not even speak to her father - telephones exist, after all - on her wedding day, according to some reports.
More odd behaviour.

GnotherGnu · 23/05/2018 11:23

It would be incredibly rash to believe random reports about what the Duchess did or did not do on her wedding day.

PortiaCastis · 23/05/2018 12:42

Unless anyone has access to phone records how the helo does anyone one know who she did or didn't phone, what a lot of speculative nonsense

Quartz2208 · 23/05/2018 12:59

Her mum is an only child who parents are dead and had one child. She is pretty much the only family on her side.

And her fathers side seems like the type that mumsnet threads are about and often the advice is to go no contact.

She clearly has made her friends her family which is entirely normal

TobysAunt · 23/05/2018 13:26

Grin @RoseWhiteTips. How do you know that? Do you honestly think the source of these 'reports' spent every minute of the entire day with Meghan and therefore know exactly what she said? Seems most unlikely.

You lot would have had a field day with my wedding. DH and I have tiny families. Mine due to having no contact with my alcohol father and any of his extended family, my mum is an only child and both parents are dead, both of DHs parents are dead. We have one sibling each but no cousins or grandparents etc. We both have friends but few go back further than 20 years and we are a decade older than Meghan. We don't have friends from uni, school etc. Does that mean there is something wrong with us? I don't believe so. Its just the way life goes. I personally have found it reassuring to see Meghan is like many of us without the big family and group of friends from nursery days. It's normal for most people not to have this. I have no idea what Meghan's relationship is with her dad or what if any issues he has but talking as someone with a father who has prioritised alcohol above all else, all I can say is not everyone is lucky when it comes to who their father (or mother) is.

TobysAunt · 23/05/2018 13:27

I meant alcoholic father

ajandjjmum · 23/05/2018 14:16

Quartz
Doria has a half brother who is a similar age to Meghan, and I think he has DC.

Maybe they decided he shouldn't be invited, as it might stir things up with the Markle side of the family? Shame though. I think we'd all have supported them being excluded having seen their recent performances!