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AIBU?

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Original poster

Or is Meghan Markle making the right choice?

454 replies

CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 12:31

I don't know if it actually was her choice or her father's, but it seems to me that it's the right decision for him not to come to the wedding.

He's obviously not at all well and needs to recover from his heart attack. He is also obviously wildly in over his head with the media. I think Kensington Palace have something to answer for there as they should have taken him under their wing from the start and given him more help in dealing with press speculation. But the damage is done and now he has caused himself and his daughter a lot of heartache - that must be causing him stress, and I think he will be happier and more healthy for missing it.

I really feel for Meghan. She obviously had quite a complex and uneasy relationship with her dad. She must feel so betrayed that he went behind her back to have these press photographs taken, and it seems he is also texting gossip fodder directly to TMZ. While there are mitigating factors, he very clearly hasn't been putting his daughter's wellbeing first. If he had, she'd be able to have her dad at her wedding and now she can't.

I hope she still has a great day on Saturday, and that her father recovers, and that she's able to move on from this and have a reasonable relationship with him.

OP posts:
GingerIvy · 17/05/2018 14:16

wild oh FFS, don't be ridiculous. He chose to ask her. You know exactly what I meant.

And no, she cannot control her family or the media.

mantlepiece · 17/05/2018 14:17

The way Meghan worded her statement I too am not buying the heart operation scenario. I think he has drug or alcohol issues that he has been dealing with for a long time. That would explain his living conditions and also the family dynamic.

wildgarlicflowers · 17/05/2018 14:17

Op

To be fair you can't really compare them to Charles and Diana they are not even married yet. How do you know how it will end? Fairytale possibly or not. Who knows, pretty sure her family will do their best to spoil it though.

wildgarlicflowers · 17/05/2018 14:18

I for one wish them both the best. I am looking forward to our party on Saturday and will just hope she turns up with all of this going on. Wine

GingerIvy · 17/05/2018 14:19

wildflowers Aside from her family, the wedding, the media... which anyone with any common sense would realise she cannot control.... what exactly is it about Meghan Markle herself that you don't like? You seem happy to be critical about things she cannot do anything about... what about HER do you have a problem with? I'm curious. You seem awfully overinvested and like you're actively looking for reasons to trash her. Hmm

Original poster
CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 14:20

*A wedding in a Highland castle would have been a proper wedding!
It does not need to be a state wedding to be a 'real' wedding - goodness me, this is just rubbish!

A wedding like that would have been amazing and dare I say it low key. Not this brash freak show that is taking hold, and getting worse by the day.*

It's not a state wedding. Not even William and Kate had a state wedding (theirs was described as 'semi-state').

How would it have been any different if it was in a Scottish castle? The security arrangements might have been different but it would still have been the subject of intense media interest, the BBC would still have covered it etc. Given that Harry and Meghan aren't inviting the massive list of foreign leaders Kate and William had to, the guest list would have been the same.

I think what you're actually suggesting is that they should have got married in secret and without their guests - but you're unbelievably naive if you think they wouldn't have faced enormous criticism if they had done that. And there's still no guarantee that her family would have behaved - they're jealous because she's marrying a prince, not because she has a particular venue...

OP posts:
wildgarlicflowers · 17/05/2018 14:22

GingerIvy I am not trashing her thank you, her family are trashing her.

I admire the work of the Queen and I hate to see the Queen embarrassed again like this, she has worked tirelessly to promote the dignity and respect of the royal family and this not fitting way for a wedding to be conducted. In terms of Megan, I think she is supremely ordinary, I don't know her to have a view of her character, but this is all very undignified.

Rafflesway · 17/05/2018 14:23

I think the father is something of an attention seeking drama llama on the quiet. All this fuss was totally unnecessary and I agree with other pp's who suggest there was no heart attack - probably a touch of angina. Also, the operation required just a handful of days before the wedding? Hmm

For heaven's sake, the man was a senior lighting director or something on Hollywood films so he is hardly a shrinking violet. Can see where his poisonous daughter and son inherited their traits.

I think Doria appears to be a very classy, dignified lady who has calmly stayed in the background.

Unless I have missed something, there doesn't appear to have been any mention of when Meghan last saw her father. I know it has been 10 years since she last saw poisonous half sister and probably the same for the half brother. Reading between the lines I think it is best that side of the family don't attend. Meghan is very close to her DM so seems much more fitting that she accompanies her DD down the aisle to me.

HappyLollipop · 17/05/2018 14:28

It doesn't sound like their that close to be honest even her wording of the statement comes across as slightly cold towards him and if that's the case then she should be fine to go ahead with the wedding without him. I don't blame her to be honest he sounds like an utter idiot and not someone to be trusted especially now she's marrying into the royals, I think this is what harry was talking about her never having a 'real family' everyone seems so distant as evident by the fact she's hardly invited any of her family.

I truly believe she would have preferred a much more low key wedding but she's marrying Harry, princess Diana's son and I feel people have a much more vested interest in her boys than we've ever seen with previous royals and I'm sure the palace would have said the same thing that it needs to be a public affair for the publicity and popularity of the royal family.

LaurieMarlow · 17/05/2018 14:30

I admire the work of the Queen and I hate to see the Queen embarrassed again like this ... but this is all very undignified.

Would you say it's more or less embarrassing/undignified than Charles telling his mistress he'd like to be her tampon, Harry doing nazi dress up, Andrew being bessie mates with a convicted peodophile or the many instances where Philip revealed himself to be a racist arsehole?

Just wondering.

Original poster
CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 14:31

It's not a crime to be ordinary 🙄

The queen survived the embarrassment of her own son's very public affair and subsequent divorce, and indeed the divorces of three of her four children. She survived the embarrassment of Harry dressing up as a Nazi, and princess michael's racist jewellery. She survived the embarrassment of Sarah Ferguson selling access to her ex husband.

So in the grand scheme of things, I think she will be getting over any anxiety she feels about Meghan's family.

OP posts:
GingerIvy · 17/05/2018 14:33

I admire the work of the Queen and I hate to see the Queen embarrassed again like this, she has worked tirelessly to promote the dignity and respect of the royal family and this not fitting way for a wedding to be conducted. In terms of Megan, I think she is supremely ordinary, I don't know her to have a view of her character, but this is all very undignified.

The way the wedding is conducted?? Seriously, how silly. And I think that the royal family has done their share of embarrassing the queen all on their own. One only needs to review some of the things that have come out publicly about Charles to know that.

Meghan is "supremely ordinary?" Wow. How snobbish. Sounds a bit like you don't think she is good enough for him or the royal family. I wonder what you're basing that on. American? Actress? Charity work?

Frankly I think she has shown a great deal of dignity throughout the run up to the wedding. She has been very careful not to say anything bad about anyone publicly, she hasn't lowered herself to the level of some of her family members that have said horrible things about her, she has stayed out of it and taken the high road on it all. She's not doing a tell-all to journalists and is simply doing what is expected of her. That bodes well for the future of her role in the royal family, IMO.

Rafflesway · 17/05/2018 14:34

Completely agree Lollipop.

LaurieMarlow · 17/05/2018 14:36

Also, stripped of all the bells and whistles, the Windsors are exceptionally 'ordinary'. None of them are particularly talented, clever, good looking, witty.

Actually, I take that back in relation to Princess Anne and Zara, as they have achieved something exceptional in their chosen area.

Original poster
CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 14:39

Also, stripped of all the bells and whistles, the Windsors are exceptionally 'ordinary'. None of them are particularly talented, clever, good looking, witty.

Totally agree with this. They're very normal in every respect except that they have a lot more money and privilege than most! Both Harry and William are lucky to have found such intelligent and attractive wives in my opinion Grin

OP posts:
OVienna · 17/05/2018 14:47

Megan's mother was Thomas Markle's second wife. Plus, she's African American.

I'm sure the Markle siblings/wider family has been nothing but absolutely lovely to her all these years. Hmm

I am giving MM the full benefit of the doubt here.

MightyMucks · 17/05/2018 14:51

Would you say it's more or less embarrassing/undignified than Charles telling his mistress he'd like to be her tampon, Harry doing nazi dress up, Andrew being bessie mates with a convicted peodophile or the many instances where Philip revealed himself to be a racist arsehole?

Or Fergie sucking toes or Anne banging her protection officers or Diana making malicious phonecalls.

Really, they have a fucking nerve if they think they’re in any way superior. I think the only one of them that could actually claim some sort of moral superiority is KM. But even she just had the luck of the draw being born into a stable family.

Charolais · 17/05/2018 14:57

OP You posted without knowing the basic facts and so your insights into the Markle family are not at all credible.

GnotherGnu · 17/05/2018 14:59

How is it her choice if he can't travel after surgery?

ajandjjmum · 17/05/2018 15:05

Two things I would conclude from this morning -
She issued the statement in her own name - very much as a celebrity - although on KP notepaper. She's calling the shots.
The statement on the BBC regarding the fact that KP have offered help is their way of letting everyone know that all the criticism pointed towards them is unfair - you can offer to help, but can't make anyone accept.

Just my thoughts.

1forAll74 · 17/05/2018 15:06

Maybe Harry and Meghan could have a few days in Mexico after the wedding,, to visit her Father, as they seem to have not scheduled a honeymoon just yet.

Lottapianos · 17/05/2018 15:09

'Also, stripped of all the bells and whistles, the Windsors are exceptionally 'ordinary'. None of them are particularly talented, clever, good looking, witty.'

Totally agree

Whether Meghan visits her father on honeymoon, or never lays eyes on him again, is totally 100 percent her own business. We have no idea how she really feels about him or what their relationship is, and we have no right to know either

Metoodear · 17/05/2018 15:16

Pr disaster they should of gathered up close family last month and installed them in balmoral so no press could get near

However this is the shit my parents would do Kate has a uncle who was in jail I fell very strongly her race especially in the us has a lot to do with this

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/05/2018 15:17

However awful Meghan's family are it's still less of a fiasco than the disastrous marriage between Charles and Diana

I totally agree, and this couple are nothing like as close to the throne

As I've said before, though, I still think the whole thing should be have handed to KP to deal with; the staff are after all thoroughly experienced in pulling off such events and might even have avoided some of this mess

luniz · 17/05/2018 15:20

I think we all know why wild is "disappointed" that Harry is getting married to Meghan and "ordinary" has nothing to do with it.