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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I call the police about my neighbour

175 replies

MrsCrabbyTree · 17/05/2018 02:52

An elderly neighbour has dented my letterbox on purpose and I am not happy.

Background: Monday morning neighbour's dog rushed into my front yard to chase my cat. Luckily the cat managed to get by the screen door and I grabbed the dog by the collar. Neighbour yelled at me, I asked him to go home, then turned to go inside. He then hit me on the back of the head with the stick he carries while walking his dog. I am fine but it did hurt somewhat.

Young neighbour from across the road saw what occurred and backed up this to the police. Police visited old neighbour and told him that he was fortunate that I did not want to press charges and to behave himself.

There are gates across the driveway, which are never closed, but I decided that it was prudent to do so. Tuesday morning the gate was untethered and slightly open. So I tied a tighter knot in the rope thinking the wind blew them open.

Then this morning I saw the neighbour try to untie the rope and then whacked my letterbox lid with that stick leaving a dent in the metal.

I am really pissed off and so deciding whether or not to complain to the police again. One part of me says to leave it and the pissed off side of me doesn't want him to get away with it?

OP posts:
Lizzie48 · 17/05/2018 11:59

Young misogynistic arseholes sadly don't change as they get older, they just become older misogynistic arseholes. It sounds like your NN isn't going to change, so you obviously need to stay out of his way. Your idea of a security camera is a good one, and I'm glad you're going to padlock your garden gate.

It's a horrible situation to be in, OP. Thanks

BastardGoDarkly · 17/05/2018 13:05

Ah, so he's always been a bastard then?

The intention behind him trying to open the gate is worrying though, what was he going to do?

fluffyrobin · 17/05/2018 13:41

Omg I would definitely press charges now as he probably got away Scot free with all the domestic violence he allegedly inflicted.

Time he got his just desserts. Men should automatically be charged when they physically abuse their wives but I have heard of countless cases when they aren't. No doubt this empowers and emboldens them.

Juells · 17/05/2018 14:11

@PeppermintPasty

I have recently been assaulted by my mad elderly neighbour over her stealing my daughter's cat repeatedly over a 2-3 year period.

Is the cat OK? :(

LucyAutumn · 17/05/2018 14:41

I'm glad that you've decided to report this second incident OP.
From what your other neighbour has said, he sounds like a very nasty and vicious bully who probably thinks he can intimidate you. Keeping your cool in front of him and documenting every incident, through your own means and also via the police, is definitely the best way to fight back and protect yourself.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/05/2018 14:44

Vile man. His poor deceased wife, what a life.

Remember to shoot first. Ask questions later. Wink

PeppermintPasty
I’m glad the police are taking this seriously.

Weezol · 17/05/2018 14:55

TBH, I'd go for the slimline .38 Glock 242 Grin.

Seriously though, press charges and report him to the dog warden. He's using his dog to intimidate people. He will carry on if you don't.

Juells · 17/05/2018 15:44

Wouldn't like to be the dog either :(

PeppermintPasty · 17/05/2018 21:59

@juells he is very confused. She feeds him, but also shuts him in, and keeps him in for long periods. Long story short, I have come to realise she enjoys it, she is extremely unpleasant.

She has told me to fuck off in front of my now 8 yo dd, she was 6 at the time I think. Denies having him then is constantly caught out in a lie. It is actually really difficult to deal with. The police have been involved (by me) at least three times.

She also drinks. She had been drinking when she assaulted me, and although my mobile was practically up her nose filming her, she appears to be unaware that I have two minutes film of her threatening to kill me and hitting me while I'm trying to get to my car. Horrible.

Waiting for the police to process it.

BMW6 · 17/05/2018 22:27

Good luck and stay safe OP - you have the measure of him I believe

Maelstrop · 17/05/2018 22:39

Laws are similar where you are to the U.K. (according to a relative who emigrated via the police emigration scheme). I would talk to the police about criminal damage for sure. Horrible old git. Don’t let him change your routines.

persypear · 18/05/2018 00:09

Report and press charges for assault OP. He will percieve you as weak and a target for his rage.

Also, if you take him on in your own way, even passively by installing cameras, you could be more at risk of retaliation not less.

Step back and take the personal out of it... let the police do their job and protect you. He needs to have them come down on him like a ton of bricks each and every time he is abusive. It is the only thing that will stop him.

persypear · 18/05/2018 00:10

he will perceive you as weak and a target if you don't report him I meant to say. Sorry

MrsDilber · 18/05/2018 00:23

He's an asshole. An old asshole. I couldn't imagine hitting anyone over the head with a stick!

MrsCrabbyTree · 18/05/2018 00:23

Here is a non-update. I waited by the front window, with toast and coffee, and he never walked by. Wondering if he went earlier? I checked the letterbox and there is no more damage.

@Peppermint. Your situation is atrocious. Your NDN is a really mean and nasty one. So hard when it affects children. Take care. Flowers

OP posts:
lololove · 18/05/2018 00:30

We have a cheap camera - it feeds to a cloud that we pay £5 a month for . It was only £30.

We have it on the windowsill pointing out filming our front garden. To be honest it's not too good at nighttime (because of filming through the glass and the night vision red lights making it reflect back on itself) but that's to do with positioning etc. During the day the picture is incredible and we can keep an eye on it via the app or the website when expecting takeaway/couriers/to see who is at the door etc. You can also clip bits off as we did when our neighbours car was rammed into by a joyrider.

If you're interested it or something similar would catch your lovely 'gentleman' right in the action.

For what its worth I agree with the others - report him! :( he sounds like he won't learn until he's being prosecuted (perhaps sadly not even then -but he definitely needs punishment)

MrsCrabbyTree · 18/05/2018 00:55

Thanks lololove for the link. It is a good starting point before talking cameras etc with my friend's husband. Although, after thinking overnight, I probably won't buy one unless the situation continues or escalates.

OP posts:
Beeziekn33ze · 18/05/2018 00:58

I don't think your neighbour's behaviour is likely to improve so you really can't turn a blind eye.

Claire90ftm · 18/05/2018 01:05

You came here for advice and you're getting sound, sane advice to report him. He won't stop and he needs to. He sound like an absolute dick. I bet he intimidates other neighbours too. Report him. Either you want the advice or you don't. And your two choices are report him or ignore him.

thebewilderness · 18/05/2018 01:21

Are you seriously living in fear watching out the window for your abusive neighbor?
Call the police before he does any more damage to you, your cat, or your post box, gate, or burns down your house for being an uppity woman.

MrsCrabbyTree · 18/05/2018 01:36

Ha ha. Not living in fear at all. Being cautious, I wanted to know if he was going to try the gate again, it is wise to be aware of how he's behaving. If he continued to damage the property then I want to know and then deal with it. (eg claiming the costs involved in repair and/or replacement, involve police further etc)

OP posts:
Juells · 18/05/2018 11:40

Things can escalate very quickly when you're dealing with a nutty neighbour. I'd make the police aware, but wouldn't want his focus to be on me.

PeppermintPasty · 18/05/2018 12:43

Yes, sorry for the mini-hijack MrsCrabby, I'm projecting for sure Grin

Maybe I should start my own thread Wink

MrsCrabbyTree · 18/05/2018 12:57

No need for any apologies PeppermintPatsy. One of the good things about MN community is that we can share the good, the bad and the funny on a post to support others.

OP posts: