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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do I call the police about my neighbour

175 replies

MrsCrabbyTree · 17/05/2018 02:52

An elderly neighbour has dented my letterbox on purpose and I am not happy.

Background: Monday morning neighbour's dog rushed into my front yard to chase my cat. Luckily the cat managed to get by the screen door and I grabbed the dog by the collar. Neighbour yelled at me, I asked him to go home, then turned to go inside. He then hit me on the back of the head with the stick he carries while walking his dog. I am fine but it did hurt somewhat.

Young neighbour from across the road saw what occurred and backed up this to the police. Police visited old neighbour and told him that he was fortunate that I did not want to press charges and to behave himself.

There are gates across the driveway, which are never closed, but I decided that it was prudent to do so. Tuesday morning the gate was untethered and slightly open. So I tied a tighter knot in the rope thinking the wind blew them open.

Then this morning I saw the neighbour try to untie the rope and then whacked my letterbox lid with that stick leaving a dent in the metal.

I am really pissed off and so deciding whether or not to complain to the police again. One part of me says to leave it and the pissed off side of me doesn't want him to get away with it?

OP posts:

FASH84 · 17/05/2018 08:11

I assumed OP wasn't in the UK, maybe the US. Just screen door, mailbox outside the property and not being legal to walk the dog off lead.

FASH84 · 17/05/2018 08:12

Also use of the word yelled rather than shouted

Bluntness100 · 17/05/2018 08:19

No, I wouldn call the police either and for the reasons you are considering not.

You called them the first time. He has retaliated. I would now leave it and see if it calms down. If he does anything else yes, call them, but this guy is bonkers and he's going to come back at you if you call them a second time . I couldn't be arsed with an escalating war either. He clearly doesn't give a shit what the police say.

I know in an ideal world. Calling the police a second time and he would stop, but the reality is that's unlikely to happen and it's going to turn into a tit for tat war.

SheSellSeaShells · 17/05/2018 08:20

Come on - this nasty man will continue to be a nasty twunt as long as people let him get away with it - because he's 'old.' What if he hits your cat with the stick - or a child that annoys him? He's obviously opening the gate as he wants the dog to chase your cat. I'd get a camera put up.

Often people like this tend to carry on as well, as they see themselves as the victim and need to retaliate / defend themselves.

HotSauceCommittee · 17/05/2018 08:21

Hit the bugger back next time.

user1483387154 · 17/05/2018 08:23

You should report this too.

Usernameunknown2 · 17/05/2018 08:24

I can tell you now from experience that no it's not over. With people like this it's never enough to have one up, they want you completely cowed. Report It, make a log of it because it's already a tit for tat war in his head and he doesn't need the tat to keep being a tit.

He's already assaulted you in broad daylight does that sound like someone who will let things go or stay peaceful?

kierenthecommunity · 17/05/2018 08:24

I assumed OP wasn't in the UK, maybe the US. Just screen door, mailbox outside the property and not being legal to walk the dog off lead.

I missed all that, but she’s spelt neighbour the English way.

OP let us know where you’re from before we can advise

Usernameunknown2 · 17/05/2018 08:25

And I would keep an eye on your just, these things escalate quickly. He obviously wanted to do more damage or confront you again which is why he was undoing your gates.

Usernameunknown2 · 17/05/2018 08:26

Your cat sorry

JamPasty · 17/05/2018 08:26

Press charges, otherwise he will carry on this campaign against you

bonnyshide · 17/05/2018 08:30

Yes report it.

Ickyockycocky · 17/05/2018 08:30

Yes definitely report him. No one should have to put up with this bully.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 17/05/2018 08:38

You should report it.

I know you hope if you don’t this will be the end of it, but I think you are being overly optimistic. I feel it’ll give him licence to do as he pleases.

Tell them about the letterbox, him loosening/untying your gate rope and about him walking his dog off the lead, leading to it chasing your cat and going in the gardens.

You need to tell them so they have the full picture in case it escalates.

IJustHadToNameChange · 17/05/2018 08:42

Another vote for report.

If (or when) he escalates, the police need to see a 'paper trail' as proof that this is very serious.

Jammycustard · 17/05/2018 08:48

Def report.

onalongsabbatical · 17/05/2018 08:51

Whatever you do, at the very least put up a camera. Then the evidence of further harassment is there and he can't lie about it. But I think I'd also report now or the very next time there's anything, because he sounds pretty unhinged.

Luisa27 · 17/05/2018 08:51

@MrsCrabbyTree - I really wouldn’t report him again. His behaviour has already been logged by the police, and your other neighbour witnessed it too.

Try the bicycle lock on the gate - it’ll prevent him or his dog from entering your garden during his morning walk - and will keep your cat safe if she strays out of the front door. Win/win

We have a VERY grumpy elderly neighbour in the village - all I’ll say is sometimes it’s best to try and treat him like a big angry toddler.

I honestly think the bicycle lock on the gate will descalate the whole situation. You don’t need to confront him or engage with him - simply prevent him from coming anywhere near you, your cat or your letterbox.

Reporting him again won’t necessarily solve the problem and could make the whole thing more awkward and unpleasant....and you have to live there.

Sending

GreenItWas · 17/05/2018 08:51

What they all said.

PoisonousSmurf · 17/05/2018 08:54

As others have said, use a padlock and chain on your gate. If he can't get in, then he can't cause trouble.
Never understand why they have mail boxes in the garden in the USA.
What if someone pinches your post!?

dancinfeet · 17/05/2018 08:55

He may be elderly but there is no excuse for this behaviour. I once had issues on a train with an elderly man (years ago when my kids were fairly young), who also had a stick and a dog and it escalated to him waving the stick in my children's faces whilst dog barked inches from my youngest DD, scaring the hell out of her. Turns out he didn't like the look of them (they are mixed race). I reported him to the conductor who had the station police meet him as he got off the train. We didn't press charges, but they had firm words with him!

Karigan1 · 17/05/2018 08:57

Some people just don’t learn do they. He had his chance. Nowcall the police and say you do want to press for the assault and also criminal damage.

Sillybilly1234 · 17/05/2018 08:58

Photograph it and keep a diary of things he does or says. If it escalates go to the police and take your evidence.

Also consider cctv if you can afford it.

Good luck.

Brakebackcyclebot · 17/05/2018 08:58

Why should OP have to barricade herself in???

Luisa27 · 17/05/2018 09:01

Barricade? .....hardly

Anyhow, I’m sure the OP can have a think and decide what she wants to do

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