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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I call the police about my neighbour

175 replies

MrsCrabbyTree · 17/05/2018 02:52

An elderly neighbour has dented my letterbox on purpose and I am not happy.

Background: Monday morning neighbour's dog rushed into my front yard to chase my cat. Luckily the cat managed to get by the screen door and I grabbed the dog by the collar. Neighbour yelled at me, I asked him to go home, then turned to go inside. He then hit me on the back of the head with the stick he carries while walking his dog. I am fine but it did hurt somewhat.

Young neighbour from across the road saw what occurred and backed up this to the police. Police visited old neighbour and told him that he was fortunate that I did not want to press charges and to behave himself.

There are gates across the driveway, which are never closed, but I decided that it was prudent to do so. Tuesday morning the gate was untethered and slightly open. So I tied a tighter knot in the rope thinking the wind blew them open.

Then this morning I saw the neighbour try to untie the rope and then whacked my letterbox lid with that stick leaving a dent in the metal.

I am really pissed off and so deciding whether or not to complain to the police again. One part of me says to leave it and the pissed off side of me doesn't want him to get away with it?

OP posts:
WhatsGoingOnEh · 17/05/2018 09:03

Totally creepy that he was trying to undo your gate!

If it is the US, pick up an AK-47 next time you're at the shops, and stand with it looking menacing every day between 8-8.30.

Twoweekcruise · 17/05/2018 09:05

Has your neighbour always been this nasty and rude? There is no excuse for this kind of behaviour but could he be suffering from dementia? Does he live alone? Are there any family members you can talk to? It needs addressing, he may have dementia or just be a nasty old bugger but he can not go round bashing people over the head.

MrsCrabbyTree · 17/05/2018 09:06

Well, Gidday again Mumsnetters. So impressed with all your detective skills trying to figure out which country I live in and now I think I have left another clue or two that will give the game away. Grin Grin

I have read all the bonza replies and thank everyone for your advice. Trouble is that I am still flipping and flopping trying to decide what is best. Will have some dinner and re-read again.

OP posts:
TonTonMacoute · 17/05/2018 09:08

I would make a note of the incident, date, time etc. Just in case.

If that is the end of it, then well and good, but if he carries on doing shit like this you will want all the details for the police, if you decide to complain later.

Luisa27 · 17/05/2018 09:08

Ahahaha - g’day! Smile

Usernameunknown2 · 17/05/2018 09:20

OP, you said you had the impression before this he was a misogynist man who hated cats, so has he commented before or behaved badly? Fallen out with others?

tradervictoria · 17/05/2018 09:23

Could the neighbour have a few chooks loose in the top paddock, OP?

blackteasplease · 17/05/2018 09:23

Tell the police.

You could change your mind re assault charges if the charge gets laid any time within 6 months.

BlueBug45 · 17/05/2018 09:25

@MrsCrabbyTree I'm afraid you have to be bothered.

This person, regardless of their age has physically assaulted you. You could have been seriously injured or even died if he struck you, you had fallen and hit your head. It does happen.

Report the latest incident to the police.

Make sure you have a list of crime reference numbers as if the worse comes to the worse you can take legal action yourself to prevent him coming near you and your property, though it would be easier if you allowed the police and CPS to do it for you.

Troels · 17/05/2018 09:28

Never understand why they have mail boxes in the garden in the USA.
What if someone pinches your post!?

Only brazen thieves would try, it's a federal offence to touch the mail in boxes if it isn't for yoour house.
In areas where mail has been tampered with people do occasionally get locking boxes, post goes in a slot and the owner has a key.
Our Mail box was the old fashioned kind curved meatal on top of a post, which I may have hit backing out of the drive a couple of times and across the street from the house.

Ohyesiam · 17/05/2018 09:29

Tell the police, being old is not an excuse for being a vandal.

DottieDaydream · 17/05/2018 09:31

He has attacked you, he has allowed his dog to attack your cat, he has attacked your property.

Report. His behaviour is already escalating. What next?

Juells · 17/05/2018 09:32

I'd get a chain and padlock for my gate, keep my dog in in the morning, and let it go at that. No good comes of having a row with a psycho neighbour.

Gacapa · 17/05/2018 09:38

I'd have pressed charges.

Takfujuimoto · 17/05/2018 09:40

He hit you in broad daylight in front of people and has tried to gain access to you/your property again and damaged your property.

You should report him again and press charges, he is a bully and has no problem being physically violent to you.

He thinks your a soft touch now because you didn't press charges and now feels he can do whatever the hell he wants even more.

You heard that from his own lips, no one is going to tell him what to do. Well the police can and will if you press charges.

What if does this to a child next time because he thinks he can get away with it?

WeAllHaveWings · 17/05/2018 09:44

Do you think his behaviour could be age/dementia related? Does he have family visiting you can talk to and raise your concerns? If you think it is age related maybe also speak to the police about potentially involving the relevant agencies i.e. social services/care for the elderly.

Report to police, as regardless of the root cause it is still assault and criminal damage. If it is age related reporting could trigger him getting the support he needs, if not age related you need to stand up to him.

maxthemartian · 17/05/2018 09:47

Twat the old cunt back.

Seriously I think you should press the original charges after all since he hasn't listened.

GlassSuppers · 17/05/2018 09:48

I'd report it but would also be looking for signs of dementia.
I work with dementia patients and he is displaying similar behaviour, it's not all about memory loss.
I once had a gentleman who would physically attack me with his walking stick whenever he saw me because I reminded him of somebody from years ago and he couldn't detach from that.
Once they have these feelings it's often hard to stop them.
I currently have a lady who hates her neighbours and will have a go at them every time they're outside. She believes they're against her and have been stealing things from her home, they haven't, but her belief is so strong that she will do anything to get at them.

Just a thought, if he's targeting you then there may be something behind it that isn't obvious on the surface.

I'd carry on reporting so he can get the help he may be needing, will save you a lot of bother too!

WellThisIsShit · 17/05/2018 09:50

That’s so difficult.

I’m not sure posters are correct in declaring he is ‘escalating’ as hitting a mailbox seems rather less violent than hitting you on the head (!).

However, he’s still doing damage and I think the key is in making the call, does this mail box incident signal a closure of sorts, or another link in a chain of harassment?

qwertyflirty · 17/05/2018 09:51

Report him.

He won't stop unless he has to.

Juells · 17/05/2018 09:55

I just wouldn't want to attract any more attention from someone unhinged who lived nearby. He's thwacked your postbox, and that will have made him feel happy. You're not dealing with somebody who has any control over what he does, if he was prepared to hit you in front of witnesses. Sending the police around is engaging with him again. Let him take his anger out on your post box, or next thing you'll find your cat dead.

Nutcases like him are not frightened by visits from the police. I'm a pretty aggressive person, but I wouldn't tangle with him.

nannybeach · 17/05/2018 09:55

Thank goodness you had a witness, can you put up a cheap cctv camera to record any further events, of this nature.Yes, keep a log, dates,times, what happened, but vidoe would be better

NameyMcNamechangeface · 17/05/2018 10:00

Of course you should report it! Woman up and find your self esteem, Mrs - nobody but nobody should get away with an unprovoked assault on you, and letting him get away with it has made the situation worse. He now thinks that you're a soft touch and that's why he's damaging your property. He has disregarded the police's warning - you need to nip this in the bud before it becomes a vendetta. Show him you won't put up with his crap.

MrsCrabbyTree · 17/05/2018 10:03

@WhatsGoingOnEh
If it is the US, pick up an AK-47 next time you're at the shops, and stand with it looking menacing every day between 8-8.30.

Can you imagine a granny (me) ambushing neighbour at the letterbox shouting, "Feeling lucky Gramps (nasty neighbour)? Well are ya?" Dirty Harry style.

(Had to reply to that before going back to read all the advice.)

OP posts:
velvetcandy · 17/05/2018 10:08

Report him for the assault and damage, he may be flagged to police for previous behaviour and may pose a risk to you