Quiet carriage on train

[Polarbearflavour]

I had a long train journey yesterday. I sat in the single seat right of the back of the quiet carriage which was also almost empty. Man sits in front of me.

I had forgotten to put my phone on silent and my phone rang. It was my GP surgery with test results. I was on the phone for around 15 seconds and trust me, I speak quietly!

Whilst I was still on the phone, the man turns round and stands up and tells me to get off the phone I’m in the quiet carriage.

I finish my call, put my phone on silent. He told me that the law was there for a reason and I could choose from 8 other carriages if I wanted to talk.

“Well actually it’s something the rail company has place, it’s not actually a legal requirement to be silent in here.”

I don’t talk on my phone in a normal carriage as I don’t like conducting conversations in public. I’m not intending on taking any more calls.

He’s still talking but I’m done with him. I put my headphones in and my music on. It’s not leaking outside my headphones and he cannot hear my music.

He then sits back down and starts banging away on his laptop. A boy gets on two stops later and spends the next 20 minutes loudly swearing on his phone. The man says nothing - I’m guessing he is too scared to confront this boy!

Two men in suits get on and discuss work matters for 10 minutes. They aren’t quiet. Man says nothing at all. There are two off duty staff sitting in the driver’s cab. There are talking and laughing. So this isn’t really a quiet carriage any more. Not that I really care.

I start eating my bagel and the man shushes at me. Bear in mind that I haven’t uttered a word, I’m reading my kindle and my music is playing through my headphones. It’s fine for other people to chat and swear but I can’t even eat without being shushed.

Anyway, the train manager comes round finally to check tickets. The man complains about me saying I was disruptive and he had very important work to do. The TM rolls his eyes and winks at me.

I then explain what has taken place and that I feel the man has been aggressive to me, a young (ish) woman travelling alone. TM is very nice and says would I like to move to first class where he can keep an eye on me.

I then spend the rest of the journey having free snacks and tea. I’ve emailed the train company to praise the TM for his help.

But why are people so aggressive in public and engage with strangers in that manner?

LoveInTokyo I meant the people who are waiting in their car, parked in a disabled space. It doesn't count because they are in the car, and are only waiting for 1 or 2 minutes for someone.
Yes, it counts.

If you chose a quiet carriage, why can't you respect the rules and your fellow passengers?

Polarbearflavour I am just reading your posts, and the way YOU describe the situation!

You do not come across as a quiet and polite person the way you describe your story. I don’t even like people very much anyway don't worry, it shows!

ikeepaforkinmypurse - calm down before you give yourself a nosebleed.

wow, you are a treat aren't you.

You asked if you were BU, people replied. I am not sorry you don't like the answers from posters who think you were both in the wrong.

Oh and the train manager obviously did think I was in the right otherwise he wouldn’t have moved me to first class and made sure I had snacks. He was lovely to me. I think I will rely more on his opinion than some of the people replying on here.

Still not remotely comparable. Jesus H Christ.

The quiet carriage is there so that people can enjoy a peaceful journey. Someone taking a very quick, discreet phone call is not going to interfere with that anymore than train announcements from the guard or a ticket inspection.

Obviously you shouldn’t make social calls or anything longer than a minute or two, you should keep your voice down, and if it looks like it’s going to be anything other than extremely brief, move out to the corridor for the duration of the call.

But people also need to get a sense of perspective. In this situation there were plenty of people doing things to disturb other passengers such as having loud conversations. This man himself was causing a disturbance by having a go at the OP (for longer than the actual phone call) and with his loud typing. If I had been another passenger concerned about having a peaceful journey I wouldn’t have been too bothered by the OP but I would have been extremely irritated by this man and his behaviour.

He sounds like an entitled bell-end.

ikeepaforkinmypurse - well at least I don’t keep a fork in my purse.

Many of the posters replying have sided with me anyway. I hope you have a lovely rest of the day!

This is a man who shushed the OP for eating whilst ignoring noisy men including those on phones. Let's not pretend he really cared about the rules of the quiet coach being followed.

Wow. Some of these responses are incredible.

Yanbu Op. He was a bully and I'm glad the TM looked after you.

Yeah the OP should have been booted out of the carriage at the behest of a sexist bully who decided to target her whilst ignoring the men continuing to make actual noise.

LoveInTokyo - exactly. The frequent announcements about why we were delayed were far worse than my brief chat anyway. You would also think that the employees in the guard’s cab would know to keep their voices down so not to disturb the splendour of the quiet carriage.

Polarbearflavour
you should keep a fork in your purse, what will you do if cakes happen?
You might be less rude if you were eating more cakes, try it.

Well you did do something wrong but only for about 15 seconds. I hate it when people use phones in the quiet carriage!

But he was total moron a bully and far worse than you.

Tartanscarf - . You are obviously having a bad day, I hope it gets better poor you. I can at least not swear at people when I write replies back. I’m sorry that’s how you were raised.

I just got a nice email back from customer services thanking me for letting them know.

LoveInTokyo - thanks. I’m glad it’s not just me.

I don’t think anybody else really cares about you making a spectacle of yourself, so you go right ahead if it doesn’t embarrass you.

Christ when you decide to side with a sexist bully just because you don't like the OP's tone maybe it's time to give yourself a bit of a shake. Or step away from MN for a bit.

He’s still talking but I’m done with him. I put my headphones in and my music on. It’s not leaking outside my headphones and he cannot hear my music.

I can't tell from this whether you'd apologised to him for taking a mobile call in the quiet carriage before you decided you were 'done with him'. If you hadn't, then you should have, and you were very rude if you put in your headphones without having done so.

The man was then rude and a bully to you, but if you hadn't apologised then you were in the wrong in the first place, and he'd probably been steaming with fury that you'd stopped the conversation by putting your headphones on.

If you apologised and he wasn't having any, then he was an arse with no mitigating factors.

I put my headphones in because he was loud and aggressive. Why would I want to engage with someone being like that?