Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Holiday once a month

133 replies

Jessica0905 · 15/05/2018 22:30

Just looking for opinions really, and to see if this is normal 😂 My 2YO is watched overnight on a Monday by MIL as I work on a Tuesday until 7pm. Hubby up mega early to go to work and finishes late. Unknown to MIL and hubby I took a holiday from work today and LOVED it. Got up at 12 noon, faffed about, went for a bath and a
lie down later. Contemplating doing this once a month 🤪 Anyone else do the same?

OP posts:

Luisa27 · 16/05/2018 08:20

Agree with FlapAttack23 actually - why be so deliberately underhand?
If that’s what you want to do - fabulous - go for it - but I don’t understand the need for such duplicity?

Sunkist12 · 16/05/2018 09:14

I did the same last bank holiday. Told MIL I was working. In reality I was off, binged on Netflix ate what i wanted without toddler hands in my food. Was ace!!!

tappitytaptap · 16/05/2018 09:18

I took a day's holiday to clean the house whilst DS was in nursery and really enjoyed it (DH knew!). Go for it! I'd have probably enjoyed it more doing what you did 😂

ErictheGuineaPig · 16/05/2018 09:25

Yeah I'm in the great idea but be honest camp. I'd feel upset if my other half lied to me like that but totally supportive of him having a day off to do sod all if he just told me about it.

Hideandgo · 16/05/2018 09:28

I think it’s a great idea but not off the back if someone else without their agreement. It’s quite unfair to take advantage of someone’s goodwill like that, if I was MIL I’d feel hurt to find out later you’d been doing this.

You need to clear it with her.

BarbaraofSevillle · 16/05/2018 09:54

Sounds like a good idea and a good balance if you don't otherwise get time for yourself. You are still actually working on the other 3 days each month that MIL has your DS.

Plenty of people get enough holidays to take family holidays and separate time off. I get 41 days a year including bank holidays and also gain quite a lot of extra time off in lieu due to working long days. I have to do a 15 hour day a few times a year, which effectively gets me a free day off.

Perhaps if you are unsure how your MIL would feel about this, how about saying 'I'm not at work next Monday so I don't need you to have DS' and she might still want to take him as she might enjoy and look forward to her day with him each week?

Brunsdon1 · 16/05/2018 09:56

I say crack on OP....personally I really don't think it matters if you tell others . I used to do this maybe once every three months and actually did tell DH and granted it was paid child care that I would still have had to pay if I'd pulled DS out so nothing lost

It kept me sane and frankly that was in everyone's interests it was rough exdh was out the door at 4.30 am and back at 8pm every night

So I had a dull time stressful job and two kids to care for....if anyone had begrudge me a single sodding day of sanity then I'd seriously question their smug motives

I told ex DH and he was pleased I got a break and thought it was a great idea

I guarantee my mum would have been absolutely fine (not ex mil but to be fair she was a giant witch and considered anyone who didn't flog themselves daily to suffer just because she had a gigantic loafer so don't give two whatever's what she would have thought)

Enjoy and ignore the naysayers....clear and present issues there

Looneytune253 · 16/05/2018 10:00

Is your mil providing childcare though or would she have little one anyway? She may appreciate a break too so maybe do it every month but alternate with giving mil a break too??

ilovesooty · 16/05/2018 10:07

If you posted that your husband was doing this poster's would be queueing up to criticise him.

sparkly72 · 16/05/2018 10:07

Genius idea - properly sanity inducing.
What YABU about though is taking AL when MIL is away meaning you miss out on the lie in!

snewname · 16/05/2018 10:08

I think you should get dh to look after ds whilst you have a day off at the weekend or if mil enjoys having him, ask her for an occasional extra day, or at least let her know what is happening. This is too sneaky but yanbu to want a day to yourself every now and then.

witchofzog · 16/05/2018 10:16

I am with Flapattack on this one. As a one off. Yes ok. But every month and lying about it? No way is that ok. The amount of threads I have seen where someone has babysat for someone under the pretence of work or an emergency just to find out later that the person has actually lied and gone shopping etc. The consensus has always been that this is cheeky fucker behaviour. If you were posting saying you had just found out your husband was doing this he would be absolutely slated.

If you want time to yourself there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. But jeez. Don't sneak around about it. If your mil adores having your dc like you say I am sure she won't mind. How are you going to explain where your annual leave has gone?

PorkyPortia · 16/05/2018 10:16

I don’t understand the need to lie though ?

beingsunny · 16/05/2018 10:17

That's great!
There's nothing like an occasional sneaky day off, if your DH knew you'd probably feel
Obliged to do chores so I get why you haven't said anything

witchofzog · 16/05/2018 10:21

It's the lying that's the issue. And the smugness about it. You work part time. Ask your mil to have him once a month on one of your days off. No lying and you can enjoy it without feeling sneaky (though from your op I don't think you actually have any qualms about this really anyway )

Gudgyx · 16/05/2018 10:23

I do this. But DP knows when I'm off, and I do when DD is at nursery, not with my mum who has her 2 days a week. Those days keep me sane!

greendale17 · 16/05/2018 10:27

I am with Flapattack on this one. As a one off. Yes ok. But every month and lying about it? No way is that ok. The amount of threads I have seen where someone has babysat for someone under the pretence of work or an emergency just to find out later that the person has actually lied and gone shopping etc. The consensus has always been that this is cheeky fucker behaviour. If you were posting saying you had just found out your husband was doing this he would be absolutely slated.

^I agree

ILikeMyChickenFried · 16/05/2018 10:31

Having a day off once a month is a fantastic idea. Lying to everyone about it isn't.

latebreakfast · 16/05/2018 10:53

Our annual leave is managed with military precision. We don't have even close to enough to do all the things we want to as a family. I'm amazed (and envious) that you end up with 1 day a month "spare" and that your DH wouldn't notice.

Singlenotsingle · 16/05/2018 10:55

Ask the company to introduce "duvet days". That's unpaid, authorized days off

formerbabe · 16/05/2018 10:58

You are totally taking the piss.

It's fine to do this if you are using paid childcare. If you're lucky enough to have free childcare provided by family, then you are having a laugh.

Perhaps your mil has things she'd like to do on that day but doesn't because she's helping you out.

rookiemere · 16/05/2018 10:59

Once in a blue moon - fabulous go for it.
Once a month without telling your MIL or DH - poor behaviour and unfair on MIL.

RosyPrimroseface · 16/05/2018 11:25

i would feel different if you were paying for childcare - feel a bit weird about the MIL helping out without knowing it's for a break not work. It shouldn't make a difference but it sort of does??!

Confusedbeetle · 16/05/2018 11:32

As a MIL who is trying to help as much as possible with child care , If one of my daughters said she was really tired and would love a day off, I would pull out the stops to help. If I was told she was at work I would feel used. I get very tired caring for toddlers at an older age, but never say no if am needed. Please just be honest, even if this thread is in jest. This week I have cancelled all my normal commitments to help. I don't resent it, but I would if I felt used. I do have a life

Baubletrouble43 · 16/05/2018 11:37

Flapattack has a point. I think theres nothing wrong with a bit of me time, but be honest, especially with MIL as she is minding dc. Frankly your relationship sounds a bit strange. My dp and I are delighted if either of us get a bit of a break and help each other to do that. No one should have to lie about it.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread