Holiday once a month

[Jessica0905]

Just looking for opinions really, and to see if this is normal 😂 My 2YO is watched overnight on a Monday by MIL as I work on a Tuesday until 7pm. Hubby up mega early to go to work and finishes late. Unknown to MIL and hubby I took a holiday from work today and LOVED it. Got up at 12 noon, faffed about, went for a bath and a
lie down later. Contemplating doing this once a month 🤪 Anyone else do the same?

[thatmustbenigelwiththebrie]

I do it all the time as I get loads of leave. I don't ever really tell DP. It's not like it's a secret and if he asked me what I had done that day I would tell him but I just tend to chill out by myself.

[Talith]

I do sympathise. When they were little I'd go feral and beg borrow and steal to grasp a break for a few hours. Just lying in bed a quiet house for an hour or two was heaven.

Better to be above board obv - it's not unreasonable to want some time for yourself and you said yourself you wouldn't like it if the shoe was on the other foot.

[DragonMummy1418]

Go for it. 🤷‍♀️

When your dc starts Nursery / School it may be difficult as you'll both have to plan your leave for the ridiculous amount of holidays to look after them!

[cadburyegg]

YANBU at all OP. Frankly taking annual leave days was the only time I used to have a day to myself. I wouldn’t have told my MIL either, she doesn’t get the concept of “me time” and judges me enough.

It’s not like your MIL looks after your DC 5 days a week and you took the week off to go shopping. It’s ONE DAY. MN is so serious sometimes...

[neveradullmoment99]

Well I work jobshare and my dh sometimes takes the time off and with the kids at school we have the day to ourselves.

[neveradullmoment99]

I don't think there is anything wrong with doing what you did but I do think it should be every now and again, not once a month. I think its not fair on your MIL. I would be rather annoyed if I found out and was the MIL.

[whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2]

Hahah, good for you. But don't get caught 😘

[Nicpem1982]

I've done this, but I've always been open with mil/dh about it. My mil looks after our dd to enable me to go to work and not pay child care costs, if I'd had a sneaky day off and not told her and she found out I know she'd feel taken advantage off.

When ever I ask mil to have dd she has always gladly obliged whether I'm at work, out with the girls or just needing some peace.

Yanbu to need time for yourself but yabu hiding it

[PatsysPyjamas]

How much does your MIL mind your DC, just the one day and evening a week or more than that?

If I were her I would be really pissed off if you lied about it. Her time is valuable too and she is giving it up freely to support you and your DH.

[halfwitpicker]

Sounds like a plan OP.

[Rachie1986]

I would do it, but only with DH blessing. As you said, you wouldn't like it if it were the other way round.. so be honest and discuss it, or don't do it

[AlonsosLeftPinky]

God no, make the most of it!!

I don't have kids and still do this sometimes. When DH goes away with his pals I always book a couple of days off to make the most of it!

[JakeBallardswife]

Ingenious! One of the perils of working from home, whilst it works well in lots of ways, it doesn't when trying to hide!

[bluebellsparklypants]

The idea of time to yourself is lovely but it's the lying that I'd have a big problem with. If you ever got found out that trust would be broken. If your DC was ill would they call your mob or work?

[WhendoIgetadayoff]

I think it will help you be better mum and partner as you’ll recharge on those days.

[Ohyesiam]

Op, you know how to look after your mental health! Sooooo sounds like a plan.
It will stop you turning into one of the dull serious people on this thread who couldn’t see fun if it tripped them up

[InDubiousBattle]

Seriously op, how would you actually do this? You would have to pretend to have been at work all day to your MIL and, most importantly, your dh. What will you say when he asks about your day? Lie? Asks if you're knackered? Lie? Asks if work was busy? Lie? The lying will be more exhausting surely?

[ForalltheSaints]

A day to yourself- nothing wrong with this. I cannot see how you will get away with lying or silence about this for too long. I assume on occasions at work your MIL or DH must contact you- almost certainly if your DC is unwell.

[PlumsGalore]

I get 32.5 days leave plus bank holidays plus an build flexi time up and WFH.

I do this ALL the time. I am very much at everyone's beck and call a lot of the time including elderly parents and disabled brother so when I want a day off I tell no one, because they are very good at filling that day for me with their needs.

I let them think I am busy at work.

Sorry, not sorry.

[PlumsGalore]

I don't rely on childcare though to do this. Mine are grown up.

[PhoenixJasmine]

I don't rely on childcare though to do this. Mine are grown up.

I think that’s the difference, Plums, you’re not conning anyone into providing free childcare to facilitate your time to yourself.

[CurlyWurlyTwirly]

Yanbu to have a day off
However yab a bit u not coming clean

[BeyondThePage]

Also agree that the lying is the problem - especially if the MIL is providing the childcare for free. It smacks of taking advantage.

If you told her would she still be happy, if it was every week would she still be happy - I think the answer to those must be no - or you would be happy telling her.

As for your OH - how many lies/omissions does it take to lose the trust?