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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why people only do their own washing?

563 replies

sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/05/2018 01:03

Just that really.

I see so many posts where people say DP's or any child over the age of about 12 do their own washing. Surely it's easier to just empty the laundry basket and do one wash of everyones washing rather than have 4 people do 4 washes with not much in it.

OP posts:
MrsPreston11 · 14/05/2018 09:20

We only have 1 laundry basket. It all goes together.

My girls (5 & 7) often help me load to machine/sort the colours (mainly so they can pour the detergent etc and press the buttons, but still, they're learning.

Do people only wash the plate they've eaten off too? Or only wash their one pillowcase, not the partners etc etc.

DisturblinglyOrangeScrambleEgg · 14/05/2018 09:20

Does it count if the washing/into the tumbler is all together, but then everyone is responsible for getting their own from the heap, folding and putting it away?

Because TBH, I don't care about putting stuff in the machine (that's a quick job), it's collecting it, then folding and re-distributing that I don't want to do - so that's the bits that everyone has to do for themselves.

Or if you have somehting that needs special treatment. That can be done by the owner too.

Olddear · 14/05/2018 09:23

Only DH and me. I do all the washing because I'm very particular about doing whites only/darks/delicates etc. I don't just chuck a bundle of washing all in together, I like to treat stains etc. But, I don't mind, I enjoy doing the washing!

BillywigSting · 14/05/2018 09:25

In our house everyone's clothes get washed together because there are only three of us, ds is only four, and we only need do about three loads a week. (though me and dp are both pretty small too so all of our clothes are quite small, a taller/heavier set family might have to do four loads)

That's what works for us. My cousins had their own colour sorting washing baskets by the time they we were 6 or seven because there are four of them, and six people is a lot of laundry to slog through.
They're all big rugby player builds too, six foot tall and stocky. One pair of their jeans is almost as big as two of mine.

When they were little, the darks or lights would be taken from the baskets and all washed together but as they got older they did their own (and put it away too). They had a big tumble dryer (partly out of necessity) so there wasn't a fight over line space if two people wanted to do a load in a day, they might just have to wait an hour or so for the washer /dryer

Brokit · 14/05/2018 09:26

All you separate washers - where does it dry? Does each person have their own place to hang it or do you dry everything in a tumble dryer?
It's just that I try not to use a dryer unless unavoidable and everything goes on a big clothes airer.

Rachie1973 · 14/05/2018 09:27

We do our own laundry as well.

2 of us have different powder due to our psoriasis.

We had 6 kids, when they had a full basket they just bring it down and wash it.

IfNot · 14/05/2018 09:32

On the line or on the airer.

No soupdragon I obviously have met men who can do their own washing. Just never known one who would take charge of the familes wash in the way most of the women I know do.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 14/05/2018 09:34

I did my own washing from 12 or 13. We had a twin-tub. I begged my Dad to teach me how to use it. I loved lining it all up in the hall on a Saturday & getting it done.

NorbertTheDragon · 14/05/2018 09:35

All the washing goes on together here. It all gets put in the same laundry basket and then me or the kids will put a wash on. Usually I have to tell them to do it but if there's something they want they have been known to do it themselves.

Shednik · 14/05/2018 09:38

One of my kids has a small bedroom and their laundry basket is on the landing. It's not about having a huge bedroom.

I do communal things. When I lived with dh, we both did. I do bed linen etc. My kids are quite young but putting the stuffing the wash isn't beyond them. I think it's good for their self esteem to make a real contribution to the household.

Shednik · 14/05/2018 09:39

We use tumble dryer every time I'm afraid. Four dc and it's just beyond what I can cope with to have washing hanging everywhere. It goes straight from dryer to their bedroom.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 14/05/2018 09:39

It's nonsense! If there are clothes to be washed when whoever is putting on a load washes them! That will either be me, DH or DS1 or 2. It's petty otherwise.
Just like if one of us is leaving the dinner table and there are other dishes we take them and put them in the dishwasher.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 14/05/2018 09:41

I just throw everything in together. Much quicker than sorting tbh.

Buggered · 14/05/2018 09:42

I obviously have met men who can do their own washing. Just never known one who would take charge of the familes wash in the way most of the women I know do.

Its Monday. I'm on my second load and by four this afternoon I will have don't the washing and ironing for a family of four. It makes sense as I work from home. I'll also have the house cleaned, dinner cooked and dogs walked by 7. I make sure that I organise Monday so as I'm mainly doing admin and can work round everything else.

I'm just an ordinary bloke like many others doing whats best for the family. I get sick and tired of the constant "men don't....[fill in with applicable]". Yeah we do, just like women do.

Buggered · 14/05/2018 09:42

done, not don't.

UrgentScurryfunge · 14/05/2018 09:43

I do encourage the family to put their own plates in the dishwasher when they are done, or at least scrape them off if the dishwasher is waiting. I try to encourage the DCs to be involved in emptying it if the timings are convenient. (If they're tired from something like Beavers then I won't ask)

Another reason why I have no desire to wash DH's clothes (besides the grey) is that they are much larger and bulkier than mine and the DCs' so our stuff gets tangled up within them and they distort the capacity of the clothing we can wash.

He overloads as well.

It doesn't seem to be having a negative effect on his life other than sporadic rewashes, so I've no great desire to attempt to retrain him.

Sallystyle · 14/05/2018 09:43

We all do each others. There are 7 of us here, doing our own washing separately would mean the thing would never be off.

All my children know how to use the washing machine and they put a load on often (even my 9 year old as long as it is a standard 40 wash).

Sallystyle · 14/05/2018 09:44

I wanted my kids to be in the habit so they knew what they were doing before they left home. They did their own from age 15.

As I said above, all mine can use a washing machine. You don't have to wash only your own clothes to learn.

NutElla5x · 14/05/2018 09:45

I'm the opposite and purposely don't show mine how to use the washing machine,otherwise they'd bung it on with one t-shirt in it when I wasn't looking.I'll occasionally ask them to hang it out though and if they want anything of theirs ironed they're on their own!

BadTasteFlump · 14/05/2018 09:48

I agree OP - it sounds nuts to me.

Everybody slings their washing in the basket and I then do a few big loads a week. Everybody then sorts out/irons/puts away their own stuff away when it's 're-distributed' by me.

It's a pet hate of mine when people run a load on the washing machine with about three things floating around. I like it to be nice and full Smile

IfNot · 14/05/2018 09:51

Good for you Buggered I'm not implying you don't exist...it's just that I'm over 40, have lived all over the place, I have known lots and lots of people and out of all the middle aged and youngish and oldish women I know most of them do most of the household stuff, including laundry.
Even the married ones who say their husband does lots-in reality the woman always does more.

I appreciate that this is just my experience, but I fear you may be more unusual than you think.

Louise56 · 14/05/2018 09:51

My oldest son started doing his own washing when he was fourteen, of his own accord. I decided to give up doing no.2 son's when he was about sixteen, I found sorting out the chaos on his bedroom floor too much for me, it was impossible to determine which clothes were clean and which were dirty out of the piles scattered around. he now does his own, but I will take it out of the washing machine and put it in the dryer if he isn't around. NO.3 son likewise now does his own. THey all do lots of clothes at a time though, so there isn't any problem with quantities. if you don't have enough clothes to make up a load, wait to wash them until you do

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 14/05/2018 09:52

Some of these comments are hilarious.

We do our own separate laundry. Me and two DC aged 12 and 8. It doesn’t involve tiny loads because we each do one load a week. Usually at the weekend. The only load we will share is the white stuff as there isn’t usually enough for a full load individually.

Eliza9917 · 14/05/2018 09:52

I don't understand this MINE and YOURS mentality either. We live together and are a team/partners/whatever you want to call it, 2 adults no kids in our house. Our washing all goes in the washing basket and whoever comes along and is putting a wash on washes whatever is there.

I wonder whether the people that have separate washing also have separate finances? (that's another concept that makes no sense to me either. In our house all money is household money).

biscuitraider · 14/05/2018 09:56

Do you know, i could understand someone saying they wouldn't wash another adults clothes if automatic washing machines hadn't been invented. Years ago i remember my mother having to spend a whole day in the "wash house" in our garden toiling under mountains of suds and steam, just a copper boiler and an old mangle to wring the "heavy wet". Thank God we've now got the technology to spare us all from that,.

But when we talk now about "washing someone else's clothes", it's little more than sorting colours and bunging them in, then leave the machine to do the work. The machine is doing the work not you....Just why the hell wouldn't you.