To wonder why people only do their own washing?

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

Just that really.

I see so many posts where people say DP's or any child over the age of about 12 do their own washing. Surely it's easier to just empty the laundry basket and do one wash of everyones washing rather than have 4 people do 4 washes with not much in it.

Madness. As long everyone puts their clothes in their washing baskets I wash them. Otherwise there would be lots of half loads going on!

my experience is that the one who cares more usually does more. In our family, that happens to be my husband. he is far more house proud than I am, always flapping around tidying things etc.

We do this. i am not sure why, my partner started. i think it is because he has shared a house for many years before we moved in together. We used to use the same laundry basket and he would just wash his stuff, it puzzled me but didn't really care cos I don't like how he hangs the stuff after either. Also he wears shirts, I hardly iron, so he is the only one that uses the iron at home, and it's all linked i think. Anyway we even disagreed on where to keep the laundry basket; him at the kitchen, me in our bedroom. So we have one each! even the kids. We both do the kids laundry when they are running out of clothes basket is full.

I've set an agreement with 14yo DD that she helps me sort out washing into lights and darks, then I do one was and she does the other.

That way she knows how to do it but we're not doing tiny loads.

Oh and she knows how to handwash when she needs something desperately!

ATM we wash all together.

However, ds1 is in age 14 clothes and things like jeans and hoodies are already now huge. Ds2 is growing like a weed too and then ds3 a few years younger. All built like dh who is 6foot 3.

I can well imagine that in a few years it would be easier to split it rather than trying to mix all the washing of four 6 foot odd blokes in one basket...it would be full twice a day!

IfNot

Sorry, for the little rant! I've seen all this from both sides. My wife used to work form home and did everything other than the cooking (by her own admission she can't cook!). I used to not do so much because I always felt like I was encroaching.

Now we have swapped, she doesn't seem to know what needs to be done. I whole heartedly can empathise with what women say about lazy husbands, however I don't think its her, its me. I've just gone to get the bedding to wash. Whilst there I've quickly dusted the bedroom. I've gone to the bathroom for a few other bits. Sprayed the bath/basin and I'll rinse it off in a little. I've just washed the cooking trays that have been soaking. When someone is doing tasks to their own system, often there isn't space for the other to take things off them it that makes sense. If she was here now, she would be saying "what can I do?" erm...dunno because I've got it under control. If she did do something without me telling her she would feel like she was encroaching on my system....

Thats my thoughts anyway!

I am very particular about washing.

Towels never go in with clothes. We have two towel loads bright (red/purple/blue) and light (cream/white)

Then there is a pure white wash
Lights
Darks
Reds
Dark handwash (mostly bras & dancewear plus the odd delicate jumper)
Light handwash (bras & ballet tights)

Everyone is expected to put dirty clothes in the wash basket. Dh and I alternate between who puts a wash through. If dd for example wants something specific washing she will put a wash through. Ds isn't so hot on that but he quite likes ironing.

If we washed separately the washing machine would never stop and always be half empty.

Hmm don't really see the correlation Eliza - I am definitely the one lumbered with putting the loads of washing on, but DH and I both work so both pull our weight - I hate ironing for example, so he does it. I think our home 'jobs' are pretty fairly shared.

But we do have separate finances - I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of 'household' money. We have a household account to cover bills, but I like to know that once everything is paid I have my money to spend on what I like, be it a big night out or ten pairs of shoes. I also like to be able to keep birthday/Christmas presents secret and I don't know how that would work if everything came from one place.

And I don't even consider me in that...i wear floaty tops, leggings, jeggings...already my laundry takes a fraction of the space of ds1s.

I found sorting out the chaos on his bedroom floor too much for me

Yeah... I don’t do that! If it’s in the laundry basket, it gets washed. If it isn’t, it doesn’t. I am not venturing into floordrobe territory!

I don’t understand why “doing laundry” needs much teaching either. You sort it into batches by colour,you put the amount of laundry detergent etc in and out the machine on a 40degree wash. That pretty much covers it. We have very very few things this can’t go through a 40 wash.

IMO, anyone that can’t do laundry without stuffing it up is either dim or doing it on purpose so they don’t have to do it.

I do everyones washing but i do each persons separately. I don't understand all these half loads. Dh makes a full load every 2-3 days, as do i and as do our children. I do it separately as it's easier to put away all one persons stuff in one room than have to separate it all out. I tend to do all our whites together tho as we wouldn't have a full load if just one of us.

Magmatic80

DP and I do our own, and if either of us don’t have a full load, then we’ll ask the other if they need any doing to ensure machine is full. I don’t think it’s particularly controversial, we’re both adults taking responsibility for our own stuff.

SAME

@Buggered I get frustrated too. As most my friends are in 2 parent working families, all the men do what needs to be done as and when it needs doing. I know when I’m not on maternity leave (and at home to do it) it’s pretty much 50/50. It’s not an unusual set up.

When I lived at home as a teen my sister and I had a laundry basket in our (shared) room, and my parents had one in their room. We did our washing and they did theirs. Between bedding, towels, school uniforms, work uniforms, and regular clothes, its quite easy for a teenager to generate a full load once a week or so - no need for tiny loads. It wasn't set in stone; sometimes we'd add something to our parents' wash and vice versa. Sometimes my and my sister's stuff went in together; other times we each had enough to do an individual load.
Now DH and I share the washing duties on an ad-hoc basis as the DC are small so everyone's goes in together.

All our washing gets done together, mostly by dh who separates whites/darks . Any washing in the basket gets washed, but all four of us do it depending on who needs clothes.

How can people only have one load of laundry a week? We have many loads because laundry is separate by fabric and by colour:

• bedding done on 90 (3 loads)
• towels done at 60 (2 loads)
• bathmats, tea towels, and napkins done at 90 (2 loads)
• sports gear done at 30-40 (2 loads one for darks and one for lights). We as a sporty family
• synthetics lights (school shirts) thrown in with sports gear
• synthetic darks (school trousers) one load
• dark cottons (1 load)
• light cottons (1 load)
• woollens/delicates (1 load, sometimes 2)

If I separated out my clothes alone this way, the piles would be far too small to do in a week. Much more efficient to bunk the entire families and sort.

Because I never don’t have a full load (I do wash nearly every day between mine, 2 small children, cloth nappies, etc.) anyway, so doing my dh’s would mean doing a full load of his. He’s a grown up. He doesn’t do my washing for me, so no reason I need to do his washing for him. He can manage it perfectly well himself. For children (mine are still too young), it would be about teaching life skills. But if I’m doing a load and anyone needs something in particular and it will fit, they are welcome to put it in if they want.

I do my own separately to my kids' (too young to do their own). Each of us seems to have v different kinds of clothes needing different levels of care....

When o was married towards the end I did separate washes from exh because he used to fuck up my clothes and it was easoer to each do our own.

Cripes, people are so much more organised and specific with their washing than I am, clearly!

I just separate lights from darks, then everything gets shoved in together on a 40 degree wash unless it's particularly crabby. I never wash anything at 90 - surely bed covers don't get that disgusting?

I'm teaching my DC how to sort their washing but it still all goes in together. They actually quite like helping me to hang it out but I'm sure that will change.

I don’t just have one load a week. I have one of colours, same for each DC and then my white stuff goes with DC’s white stuff to make one load. Towels is another load and bed linen is two loads.

I find that if I wash towels with clothes or bedding they make them go bobbly. I have bedding thats 15 years old and still looks brand new. Similarly with white shirts, people ask me how on earth my kids school shirts stay so white or how I can still wear white tops that are 10 years old. the answer is I wash pure white stuff separately with a scoop of vanish in with the wash.

Towels I do at 60 to make sure any germs are killed. It also does your washing machine good to do at least one weekly hot wash.

DH and I wash our own clothes and we both wash the children's clothes and the sheets/towels etc. Essentially we wash our own stuff then anything else that needs to go in.

What I find interesting is how seldom men are the ones doing all the laundry. It may take only five minutes to load up the machine but it then needs to be taken out and dried and if you add up all that time over a year that's hours of work that one person is doing and the other person isn't. On its own it's not a very big deal but if it's added to lots of bits of admin, tidying around the house, buying children new clothes when needed, etc etc etc, it's another straw being added to pile, working towards the back breaking moment. And it's usually women's backs that end up broken.

BadTasteFlump Mon 14-May-18 10:24:56

*Cripes, people are so much more organised and specific with their washing than I am, clearly!

I just separate lights from darks, then everything gets shoved in together on a 40 degree wash unless it's particularly crabby. I never wash anything at 90 - surely bed covers don't get that disgusting?*

They do when you have a mascara wearing dd who suffers from mennorragea.

I do the washing in the week, dh does it at the weekend. Thats because in the week he doesn't get home til 7.30pm wheras I am usually home by 5pm.