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Original poster

To wonder why people only do their own washing?

563 replies

sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/05/2018 01:03

Just that really.

I see so many posts where people say DP's or any child over the age of about 12 do their own washing. Surely it's easier to just empty the laundry basket and do one wash of everyones washing rather than have 4 people do 4 washes with not much in it.

OP posts:
Newsofas · 14/05/2018 08:38

I will teach my children to empty the laundry basket and wash everyone’s clothes. I would have been very offended if I moved in with my new H and he just washed his own clothes.....very odd and I don’t know anyone in real life who does this.

Mammyofasuperbaby · 14/05/2018 08:42

Our system is all washing goes in one basket and we do loads from that ( blacks, whites, dark colours, light colours and hand wash/delicates) it all gets done in one day and then is sorted into iron/non iron.
Both me and do do the washing but only I iron but not dps stuff except work shirts, he folds instead and hangs things on hangers for me in return.
We really don't see the point in separating everyone's washing. When our son is old enough he will do loads of everyone's washing and he will iron his stuff just like I was taught by DM

happymummy12345 · 14/05/2018 08:44

I do all the washing. If I didn't poor dh would hardly have time to do his, given the long hours he works.

BroomstickOfLove · 14/05/2018 08:47

LonericaJaponica - not everyone has a bathroom, kitchen, landing or hallway big enough for a communal laundry basket, either!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/05/2018 08:49

DH does his own. He works away a lot, does overnight shifts etc and I wouldn't know which items he needs for which job. So he does it himself, leaving the non urgent stuff in his wash basket. If I have room I will wash it for him. Just as I will iron the few bits he has that need ironing - should I happen to be ironing at all!

Communal stuff gets done by whoever sees it, has room in a wash for it. So we both do it though it is usually me who does bath towels and bedding. He will strip and make beds, but will leave the bedding for me to throw together a joint wash.

UrgentScurryfunge · 14/05/2018 08:50

When I moved in with DH many a year ago, he was well accustomed to doing his own laundry a.k.a slinging all his stuff in the machine when necessary. Sorting not required because in 3 washes, it all morphed into that particular shade of grey.

I had no wish for him to turn my clothes grey or to adopt his washing. Due to working hours it was more practical for me to do groceries on the way home from work and to cook, so I've always had more domestic load whether I've worked ft/ pt/ or mat leave/ SAHM. He's happy enough dealing with his own clothes and I'm happy to leave him to a domestic routine that he's happy with.

At present the DC's are young. They are old enough to be encouraged to put their clothes in a basket, but not for independently managing their laundry... yet. They share a room and clothes storage, indeed being close in size some items are communally owned. (I'm not separating out the same size of school uniform Confused)

My stuff mixes with the DCs as I know who needs what and when. Longer term it will seperate out as I get space for my own laundry basket so can keep my own darks seperate. There's less lights so I'm happy for them to remain shared.

Longer term again, I'd like the DCs to be managing their own laundry when old enough to do so and in their own rooms.

Mulberry72 · 14/05/2018 08:52

I just do mine, DH and DS altogether, too much of a faff to start sorting it by person!

scaryteacher · 14/05/2018 08:52

I do all the washing; washing machines are expensive where I live, and I don't want ds buggering it up when he's home from university by not using anti calc tablets. I have already lost 2 machines in 5 years to the curse of the Belgian hard water. I wash Dh's stuff as I don't work, so it doesn't take much time to fling a load on for him.

Pressuredrip · 14/05/2018 08:54

I said on the other post we do separate washing, we'd never do a half load of course, we'd fill it with whatever else matches that colour of washing regardless of who it belongs to. But our washing basket is never empty so we just select what we most want washing. As for meals, my husband is a fussy eater and I'm a vegetarian so we just cook what we fancy and let the kids choose which meal they want. If it's something everyone likes we cook it for everyone, just depends what we have in and who is at home at dinner time. It's not deliberately being awkward.

HecTick · 14/05/2018 08:54

But you have to sort it back per person afterwards

I dump socks on the sofa and tell DC to sort them into piles. DH buys only same ones so they don't need pairing, DD (6) pairs hers, DS (8) throws his in his drawer and wears odd socks, I pair mine.

I stand at ironing board and fold clothes and then put them in 4 piles on back of sofa as I go. Everyone puts their own clothes away. I intend to get the DC to fold as they get older, but at the moment it's easier if I do it.

Seafoodeatit · 14/05/2018 08:55

This is the first time I've heard of people doing separate washes, the only thing I seperate is colours and towels. I do all the washing, DH does the ironing.

Storm4star · 14/05/2018 08:56

I obviously did all this stuff for my kids when they were young but no, not as adults. We all do our own washing and cooking. My DD lives half with a partner, half at home so we will usually cook for each other once or twice when she’s here but my DS eats at different times, different foods etc. We each just wait until we have a full load of washing so, in terms of clothes, I’m just doing 2 loads a week for myself which is far less than I’d be doing if I was doing all theirs too. So yes it would be extra work to do theirs. I am more surprised that people do still do all the household stuff for adult kids!

IfNot · 14/05/2018 08:57

I do all the sheets and towels although that might change in the future.
I wouldn't let DP near my personal washing though. He would bung everything on 60 degrees regardless of specialness!
I also agree that, for adults, being in charge of your own mucky grundies is preferable, hence separate baskets.
I find it hard to beleive that in the households where there is only laundry basket, it's not always the mum who ends up sorting everybody's. Maybe there are men who take charge of laundry unprompted but I have never met one.

SoupDragon · 14/05/2018 09:02

I don’t have to “go and get everyone’s washing” because it is all in the same place.

But you have to sort it back per person afterwards.

And? It’s hardly difficult to take each piece of clothing from where it’s dried and put it in the correct person’s crate.

HecTick · 14/05/2018 09:05

And I'd rather sort clean clothes into piles than have to rummage through a basket of dirty clothes to get the white t-shirt out from the bottom!

3stonedown · 14/05/2018 09:09

When I was a teen I remember multiple times when a friend would be shouting down the stairs at a parent that they need their blue top etc, even then I used to think why don't you just do your own. Currently ours is all together apart from DD's which I have to use non bio on. When she is old enough she will absolutely be doing her own.

Redpony1 · 14/05/2018 09:09

This thread is hilarious!!

It's zero effort for whoever is free to shove more than 1 persons clothes in the washing machine. It doesn't have to be the same person every time - it isn't in our house!

Cockmagic · 14/05/2018 09:10

I'm one of those sad people who enjoys laundry...
Plus DD is usually at school when I do the washing, hang it out etc and DP at work.
I'm also the only one who irons 😂.

On the other hand, DD does polishing, dp washed pots, does gardening.

It's all about balance, if I'm working a 14 hour shift do does it all obviously.

SoupDragon · 14/05/2018 09:11

Maybe there are men who take charge of laundry unprompted but I have never met one.

Really? How do the ones who have to do their own laundry cope then? I imagine they manage to take charge of it unprompted.

It’s all about having a system that suits your family. My method works for me and nothing anyone can say will change the fact that it works for me just the same as other people’s systems work for them. Personally I don’t see how it’s efficient for everyone in a household to be doing separate laundry rather than everyone in a household doing communal laundry but if that’s what works for you who cares?

My mother did all our laundry going up (traditional SAHM) and I still managed to be self sufficient when I left home at 22.

WaxOnFeckOff · 14/05/2018 09:11

All washing is done communially but I don't always do it.

It's to be a nice day today, teens are off with study leave, I've left them a note to do a load of laundry and hang it out. I'll probably bring it in and DH does most of the ironing.

If it's still nice tomorrow then teens can strip and wash their beds.

StylishMummy · 14/05/2018 09:12

I do all the washing but our 20 month old helps me put the washing in the machine and take the drying out of the dryer. I think it's good to introduce them to chores from a young age so you set the expectation. But if the DC do a load when they're older it'll be for everyone - not just their stuff

FASH84 · 14/05/2018 09:12

@frenchfancy You never hear of men taking sole responsibility for the family's laundry - why do we women do it to ourselves?

Not true, my dad always did most of the laundry, my mum would just bung everything in and whites would be grey, pink etc or forget a load was in and it'd sit there damp overnight, because no one else knew she'd put any on. Once we got to teens we'd do laundry too (whole family but if i did a load I could prioritise something I needed quickly) , dad also had a manual job so had a separate wash bag for work clothes and would do a separate load every Saturday morning for them, when DB got a summer job as a plasterer's mate his work clothes went in the same wash bag and load.

OverTheMountain42 · 14/05/2018 09:14

DH has always done his own washing, he'll put our stuff in with it if he doesn't have a full load, but he does it.
Saturday he had a full load of just his washing, so he did his. Then I did mine and DS.

Mil was apparently useless at washing and ruined his clothes as a kid, so as soon as his could he did his washing separate from everyone else's and has just got in the habit of it.

WaxOnFeckOff · 14/05/2018 09:15

We do have seperate laundry baskets for convenience. One in our room (no room in en-suite) and one in family bathroom. So wothout checking the other room it wouldn't be immediately obvious that there was enough for a full load. So, I probably do most of the monitoring tbf. DH washes all his own uniforms though (he works in healthcare so doesn't like anyone else touching them or them being washed with anything else).

Brokit · 14/05/2018 09:17

DH, me and two adult DC here.
I said this on the other thread.
Would you wash up your own plate and cutlery after a meal? Who washes the pans? Or does each member of the family cook their own?
It's family life, we live as a family unit, not four strangers inhabiting the same building. As it happens I do most of the laundry although DC will put their bedding in if they've changed their bed as it's a full load. I've never operated the dishwasher or cleared the table as DH does those. It's division of labour.
Even my son's uni house mates will make sure there is a full load by doing each other's washing.

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