To ask for your comebacks to a conspiracy theorist?

[BeigeisthenewOrange]

I know someone who believes in lots of conspiracy theories. I see this person almost every day, and it's not easy to just ignore them. I'm crap at arguing/debating, so I tend to get panicky when they tell me all their beliefs and don't have any counter arguments. Or I try to but they come back with more 'proof'.

I don't believe everything is as it seems in the world, for example I think the government and the media are colluding possibly to gradually make the NHS look worse and worse so that we end up scrapping it and having only private healthcare. Plus things like the way the disabled are treated in this country. So am not totally 'the other way'. I stress though that these are only 'possibles' in my mind and I don't blindly believe that!

I'd like to be able to hold my own in our conversations, if anyone has any ideas I'd be grateful.

Some of her current beliefs:

• There are only chem trails in the sky, put there by the government to poison us.
• All vaccinations cause autism.
• Autism never used to exist, the government want children to have it so they are easily controlled.
• ISIS don't exist and every single terrorist attack is performed by actors.
• Any medication we take is because the 'Big Pharma' want us all hooked on everything, the GPs get back handers and want us on as much meds as possible. Every single medication is making us more ill which they want.
• The entire Royal Family are corrupt in the most awful ways. I won't go into details.
• Everything David Icke says is gospel.

These are just a few. If you're wondering why I care or can't just walk away it's because I do like this woman and we do have a real laugh a lot of the time, sometimes though I get frustrated by her extreme beliefs, especially when she brings my health into it and says my GP wants to poison me. I'd like to be able to discredit some of this in a clever way.

Honestly, I don't think you can come back to conspiracy theorists. Their beliefs require them to disregard any facts that don't cohere with their world view - so it doesn't matter how good your facts are or how well you argue them, because she will never listen.

Instead, I would just gently but firmly shut her down every time. Say 'we don't hold the same view on this and I don't want to argue about it so can we just talk about something else?'

If she's a good person and a decent friend she will accept that and stop trying to convince you. If she can't or won't let her theories go and insists on trying to convince you even after you've told her you don't want to discuss them, you'll have to ask yourself if she's really someone you can be friendly with.

Sorry OP - I know from experience that it's sooo difficult being in your position because it's so frustrating!

I think part of the problem with conspiracy theorists is that they're like MLMers; gassing on about what they do is part of the problem. MLMers look for punters, CTs for converts.

What Bridesmaid said seems sensible, firm and polite.

Thanks Bridesmaid I do suspect you're right sadly! She's so ingrained into these beliefs, it's almost a lifestyle really.

I've tried to be blunt, especially about the vaccinations as I just can't get my head around that one. Just remembered too that apparently ebola was invented to kill people off.

It is frustrating but I can live with it, will just keep changing the subject maybe :)

How about ‘stop talking crap, you weirdo’. Then get yourself some new friends. I’ve no idea why you would want to debate with them. Life’s too short.

My friends husband is a flat earther 😟

I respect your views but i don't share them can we talk about xyz instead (insert common ground you have), although I don't think I could maintain a friendship with someone delusional. Is she a flat earther too?

If ISIS are actors why are people dead? Or are the victims playing along too?

Perhaps just light heartedly say 'gosh I've got a splitting headache and this topic is a bit heavy going for me', could we leave this for some other day'. Repeat as necessary every day until she gets the message.

There is some areas of truth to what she's said above, however for the most part it is boll**ks. (IMHO). I don't mind alternative theories but there must be something substantial to back them up before I begin to even consider the possibility and even then it only means that I open my mind to the possibility, not that I definitively believe it.

Can't you avoid this person? Seriously batshit!
Or make a tinfoil hat. Wear it when they start. To stop the crazy contaminating you.

You can’t argue with stupid. Dont waste your energy. A cool blank stare and silence will express everything you need to say

Just head tilt, nod and say "I'm sure you're right" at every opportunity. Shuts them up pronto, and because you've agreed with them they've got nothing to argue the toss about
You can then crack on with your day unencumbered.

I would try to just shut down the conversation as quickly as possible. IME a lot of conspiracy theorists want to rant at enlighten people and also tend to get bloody passionate about it.

So maybe if she starts on about something like 'the sun was planted by Big Pharma to distract sheeple from discovering the Real Truth about how The Government is attempting to colonise Jupiter so that when The New World Order kicks off they can all escape there' just nod and agree "you're probably right" or "you may be onto something" or even "is that what they're up to? Bloody feckers" Would that give her nothing to argue against or would she potentially respond with "so what can we do about it?" and make the problem worse??

What proud said, you can’t argue with stupid. Just say nothing, keep changing the subject.

There are a few “flat earthers ” round here and they get quite aggressive in discussions about it. I just walk away from them and refuse to get drawn in.

There is some truth to all these theories but the topics are too heavy and intellectual for everyday conversation.

Remind her of this and if she persists politely walk away - she should get the message eventually.

If I valued the friendship then I think I'd say that you love being friends but your views on these topics are so different that it might be better to not discuss them together.

I would find the comments about autism hugely offensive, and therefore my comeback would be Get.A.Fucking.Grip.

Thanks all for the advice!

CFTrolls I work with her, it's a bit hard to avoid her as we HAVE to communicate. It's just that it always ends up being about one of these subjects somehow.

Jesuis She thinks they are all actors even the families which I find offensive. She's shown me youtube videos of multiple actors 'starring' in different tragedies.

Ha not a flat earther as far as I know :) I wouldn't be surprised, that one hasn't come up yet though.

She's constantly telling me not to take the medication I'm on saying it's making me into a zombie - can't help but get a bit offended by that sometimes! Plus it's dangerous, if she's saying this to other people they may well listen.

passmetheloppers I love that idea! Definitely going to give that a go tomorrow.

I thought the Flat Earth society was about arguing a point which couldn't be true, to hone their debating skills - they don't really think the Earth is flat, do they?

And maybe suggest she starts a YouTube channel to air her views if she feels she needs tell the world her views.

Tell them there is a conspiracy theory that it would be helpful to all if they shoved their head up their arse.

Bridesmaid is right. Don't engage, they won't listen to reason or argument and you'll only prolong the whole discussion.

My FIL believes in mermaids. He watched a documentary on YouTube. There isn't any point arguing - I can't absolutely prove they don't exist. Take a deep breathe and change the conversation if you can. (Luckily mermaids don't come up in conversation often!)

Just nod and smile, try to change the subject? I used to love reading about conspiracy theories, can't much be arsed these days, the actual mainstream crap is weird enough now

Tinkly little laugh. "Gosh, I'd always wondered who actually believed all that sort of rubbish"

Talking at people is part of the problem. I think they must be used to people blanking them, or just wandering away while that are talking, so unless you are stuck there n a room with her at work, you could probably just interrupt her with your excuse to leave.