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Original poster

To ask for your comebacks to a conspiracy theorist?

115 replies

BeigeisthenewOrange · 13/05/2018 21:31

I know someone who believes in lots of conspiracy theories. I see this person almost every day, and it's not easy to just ignore them. I'm crap at arguing/debating, so I tend to get panicky when they tell me all their beliefs and don't have any counter arguments. Or I try to but they come back with more 'proof'.

I don't believe everything is as it seems in the world, for example I think the government and the media are colluding possibly to gradually make the NHS look worse and worse so that we end up scrapping it and having only private healthcare. Plus things like the way the disabled are treated in this country. So am not totally 'the other way'. I stress though that these are only 'possibles' in my mind and I don't blindly believe that!

I'd like to be able to hold my own in our conversations, if anyone has any ideas I'd be grateful.

Some of her current beliefs:

  • There are only chem trails in the sky, put there by the government to poison us.
  • All vaccinations cause autism.
  • Autism never used to exist, the government want children to have it so they are easily controlled.
  • ISIS don't exist and every single terrorist attack is performed by actors.
  • Any medication we take is because the 'Big Pharma' want us all hooked on everything, the GPs get back handers and want us on as much meds as possible. Every single medication is making us more ill which they want.
  • The entire Royal Family are corrupt in the most awful ways. I won't go into details.
  • Everything David Icke says is gospel.

These are just a few. If you're wondering why I care or can't just walk away it's because I do like this woman and we do have a real laugh a lot of the time, sometimes though I get frustrated by her extreme beliefs, especially when she brings my health into it and says my GP wants to poison me. I'd like to be able to discredit some of this in a clever way.

OP posts:
MrsDylanBlue · 13/05/2018 23:11

Give them a role of tin foil.

MrsDylanBlue · 13/05/2018 23:11

Roll!

biscuitraider · 13/05/2018 23:32

The same person also says that Elvis is still alive, living secretly in Gracelands still, apparently has been seen peering through an upstairs window.

GnotherGnu · 14/05/2018 00:37

BusterGonad, you can't seriously look at that list of bullshit and say that she could be right, surely?

GnotherGnu · 14/05/2018 00:38

rosylea, why would the media have any interest in colluding in some massive plot to make up ISIS-related deaths? Surely for them the existence of the plot would be a much more juicy story.

GorgonLondon · 14/05/2018 00:43

I don't understand how anyone can be friends with people like this, especially when they are openly antisemitic mousefunky

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 14/05/2018 00:50

If it helps, I'm a gp and I wish that "big pharma" gave me lots of money, but they don't. And I personally prefer to have people on a few meds as possible, but unfortunately many patients don't seem to implement the lifestyle suggestions I suggest...

concretesieve · 14/05/2018 00:55

I'm so blardy old, I can remember when David Icke was a rather staid BBC sports commentator ...

She's a loon - no idea how you stop her.

RepealRepealRepeal · 14/05/2018 01:04

It depends on how you want to deal with it.

An ex and his friend were massively into conspiracy videos, and my responses to their nonsense would range between 'leave me alone' to 'let's look at all the actual fact based evidence to the contrary' to 'No, it wasn't the aliens, it was the unicorns, everyone knows they're much smarter.'

But, yeah the 'all tragedies are portrayed by actors' one used to really wind me up as well. I never wonder why he's an ex!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 14/05/2018 01:08

I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
Because I don’t agree with you and I don’t want an argument.
I know you won’t argue but I don’t want a discussion either.
Oh dear god I don’t want to talk about it.
I value your friendship and don’t want to fall out with you, please can we change the subject.

Then...

YOU’RE AN ACTUAL FUCKING IDIOT GO AND TALK TO YOUR TIN HATTED FRIENDS ONLINE.

melodybirds · 14/05/2018 01:23

My FIL believes in mermaids. He watched a documentary on YouTube.
Smile

TomPinch · 14/05/2018 01:42

One approach would simply be to laugh at her and tell her not to be daft. If she tries to argue the point, laugh more. You might lose her friendship though.

My preferred (serious) approach is to ask the person for their evidence that there is a conspiracy. This is not the same as evidence for e.g. chemtrails. This tactic avoids having to listen to loads of crap about chemtrails.

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 14/05/2018 01:42

The easiest (peaceful and non confrontational) way to deal with a person like that is smile and say oh really/that's interesting etc while inwardly rolling your eyes and thinking here we go again...

You will never get him to change what he believes as he sounds like he's been on the conspiracy theory forums and sites so often they have him brainwashed...just smile , while inwardly plan your grocery list or something )Grin

KaosReigns · 14/05/2018 02:13

You could always just introduce your own ridiculous theories. She says they Nazis are all just chilling on their secret moon base, you say that's ridiculous, everyone knows the moon has been a hologram since the French accidentally blew it up in 1841.

mawbroon · 14/05/2018 03:12

I had psychosis back in 2011 and had paranoid delusions.

I believed every conspiracy theory going and NOTHING that anybody tried to tell me would have changed my mind. It was an incredibly strong feeling of knowing that these things were an absolute truth and only certain people were able to see it. Everyone else had fallen for the lies spun by government/media/whoever. I refused to take medication, but I was threatened with being sectioned which made me comply.

I recovered fully and am now back to my rational, logical self but having experienced these delusions, I now understand that there is no point whatsoever in arguing with conspiracy theorists. None.

How long have you known your colleague and has she always been like this?

CalF123 · 14/05/2018 03:20

@icedtea

What do you mean there's "some truth" to all these theories?

Kursk · 14/05/2018 03:22
  • There are only chem trails in the sky, put there by the government to poison us. what would the benefit be
  • All vaccinations cause autism. again what would the benefit be
  • Autism never used to exist, the government want children to have it so they are easily controlled. how would that benefit the economy
  • ISIS don't exist and every single terrorist attack is performed by actors. ok that’s plausible
  • Any medication we take is because the 'Big Pharma' want us all hooked on everything, the GPs get back handers and want us on as much meds as possible. Every single medication is making us more ill which they want. again this is plausible
  • The entire Royal Family are corrupt in the most awful ways. I won't go into details. also plausible
  • Everything David Icke says is gospel.no idea who this is
Heatherjayne1972 · 14/05/2018 06:22

Blimey op. I think we have the same friend
Actually there’s nothing you can say because these people believe all this Everything you or I might say to counter their arguments is met with more nonsense
Smile and nod

Shoxfordian · 14/05/2018 06:47

Arguing with this is like trying to play chess with a pigeon. Even if you make lots of clever moves, the pigeon will shit all over the board anyway.

Can't argue with stupid. I would seriously consider whether I wanted to see someone like this regularly.

sashh · 14/05/2018 06:53

As has already been said, you can't argue with stupid.

I'd be tempted to invent some theories.

OK how about the brownies have nothing to do with girl guides, they are actually part of a secret government initiative to train a young sprying network, this is why the waiting list is so long, they put 'normal' girls on the list but the ones with 'spy potential' are recruited quicker.

FullMetalRabbit · 14/05/2018 07:04

I heard a “flat-earther” speaking on the radio the other day - I felt embarrassed for him, the scientist on the radio was struggling to not laugh at him

fairylightsdown · 14/05/2018 07:09

"You are almost certainly correct" most people don't hear the word, almost.

BusterGonad · 14/05/2018 07:11

Gnother it's only bullshit because YOU don't have the same views, if you choose to believe what we are told is true that's your choice, everyone is entitled to believe what they think is true. I'm not saying that I agree or disagree but a bit of respect for your friends opinions will go a long way.

Quickerthanavicar · 14/05/2018 07:11

I always think what would the Queen Mother say.
'We shall have fog by teatime' is my standard response.

RiotAndAlarum · 14/05/2018 07:30

This is just a co-worker, who you want to be pleasant, but she's not playing nicely. You won't be "spoiling any friendship" to tell her to STFU on work time when you can't get away from her offensive nonsense.