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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

999 replies

whyismykid · 13/05/2018 15:40

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

OP posts:
dimots · 15/05/2018 09:21

I don't volunteer for the PTA because I don't want to. I am a single parent who works full time. I possibly could squeeze in some voluntary work if I really wanted to, but I'm tired and it isn't a priority.
If the PTA folds, I don't care really. They provide a few extras, but nothing we'd really miss if it didn't happen. They do stuff like providing book bags - I can buy my own thanks. They bought iPads for classroom use - nice to have, but not essential. Any trips or events we pay for separately anyway.
So it isn't a case of taking advantage of others who do volunteer - I don't care whether we have a PTA or not and wouldn't miss it if it vanished ( which it did one year due to lack of volunteers - I didn't notice a difference)

WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree · 15/05/2018 09:28

Tartanscarf - is that a normal run of the mill LEA school?

Tartanscarf · 15/05/2018 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/05/2018 09:33

Because this stuff is a waste of time unless you really don't have much of a life and are into fucking cupcakes.

Tartanscarf · 15/05/2018 09:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lethaldrizzle · 15/05/2018 09:37

It seems the meanest comments on here are all from people who don't help out. I wonder if there's a correlation between the two?

Tartanscarf · 15/05/2018 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertrandRussell · 15/05/2018 09:38

Maybe also part of the problem is that people don’t understand how school funding works? It should be made clearer.

BertrandRussell · 15/05/2018 09:39

“Because this stuff is a waste of time unless you really don't have much of a life and are into fucking cupcakes.”

What was the point of that post? Seriously.

Tartanscarf · 15/05/2018 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

budgiegirl · 15/05/2018 09:41

To be honest I think if a school are already asking for a contribution to the school fund of more than about £50 a year, they shouldn’t really ask for anymore. And ditto with helping out - if someone is helping out with the school directly, they shouldn’t be asked to do any more for the PTA

Thing is, the PTA probably don’t know who contributes in other ways, I doubt they’re given that info (certainly not the financial contributions anyway). I think it’s fine for them to ask, otherwise there’d be no volunteers at all. But equally, if you already feel you do enough, it’s fine to say no. You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about it though

Turquoise123 · 15/05/2018 09:42

Hmmm lots of people saying why they don't join - I always assumed it was something you just did. And yes I work full time and I travel a lot. Sure some groups were a bit cliquey but really - so what ? I am a grown up so I just deal with it and at least they were there and contributing so who cares ?

Your question was" what can I do "?

-Would it be worth using those 8 supporters as the launch pad ?
Shower them with praise and ask them to recruit 2 helpers each for the next event.

  • can you divide up duties along form lines and then allocate to each form for them to sort it out ?

Support from senior teachers is key ( sadly) when the headmaster/ deputy turns up for meetings then there is always so much more engagement. People think it's going to reflect well on their child.

Well done for you for getting stuck in and I hope the next event is really successful.

BakedBeans47 · 15/05/2018 09:44

Because this stuff is a waste of time unless you really don't have much of a life and are into fucking cupcakes.

Besides the fact I like many other PTA people do have a life (and a proper hard work professional job) I can honestly say I’ve never fucked a cupcake.

theressomethingaboutmarie · 15/05/2018 09:44

I'm with you on this OP. I am now the class rep for my daughters class because it got to November and no one had yet volunteered. She's in year 5 and I'd been the class rep for year 3 but had to step up again. I'm now in the process of arranging for people to staff our stand at the summer fair and as usual, it's like getting blood from a stone. For what it's worth, I work full time in a very stressful job, for which I regularly commute and have another DC.

roseblossom75 · 15/05/2018 09:45

The sole reason I don't volunteer is my social anxiety.
I would love to be more involved in all honesty.
I wish I had the confidence to get out there (or in there) as I feel I have a lot to give, but agoraphobia has a lot to answer for.
I find it daunting just waiting in the school playground at home time.
I suppose also, as the PTA are an already established group and they all know each other I wonder if they would really want me there. (although all letters say new members welcome).
I have one child at the school (my youngest goes to a special school) so I feel a bit of an outsider in that respect (I know I shouldn't but I do).
I would love to be more involved though if I had the confidence.

Easilyflattered · 15/05/2018 09:56

Because I used to be a parent governor at a school where there were a lot of problems. The governing body were forced to make decisions that were unpopular with both staff and parents at times, but were required to meet Ofsted recommendations or new guidelines etc. I was sick of getting my ear bent by someone everyone I went on the playground at pick up.

It became more demanding timewise and stressful than my actual paid employment.

Easilyflattered · 15/05/2018 09:57

*everytime

BertrandRussell · 15/05/2018 10:00

“I can honestly say I’ve never fucked a cupcake.”

Actually, that’s a fund raising idea I bet nobody’s tried- PTA Porn. Unless you know, differently, ReanimatedSGB?

ToffeePennie · 15/05/2018 10:00

I would love to help out. It’s right up my alley doing stuff for the school, baking, raffles, tombola etc. I love organising stuff like this! However my biggest small is only in nursery and it’s almost an hour away from our new house, so I’ve never had the opportunity. I can’t wait until September when he starts school properly and I can join the pta and school governors etc. I’m really looking forward to it!

WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree · 15/05/2018 10:04

I just don't value the outcomes enough to compromise my mental health and wellbeing to do it. Leaver's hoodies, breakfast with Santa etc.

DH will do the coconut shy at the fair, always does and might cart a few things about beforehand. He likes it, is sociable, and enjoys the associated mild stress.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/05/2018 10:11

It might be better to direct some of this energy and all your good intentions into, you know, campaigning for better school funding.

A lot of people don't get involved with school fetes and cake sales because they don't like them. They find this stuff oldfashioned and boring, and have little or no interest in spending their leisure hours with people they have nothing in common with other than that their DC go to the same school. Yet there are a lot of threads on here whining that people won't join PTAs and won't come to these grim, cheerless school events, and none of the pinny-wearing, martyred volunteers ever seems to come to the obvious conclusion that this model of fundraising isn't working and it might be time to think of something else instead.

boredretiree · 15/05/2018 10:15
Smile
boredretiree · 15/05/2018 10:18

Because this stuff is a waste of time unless you really don't have much of a life and are into fucking cupcakes.

lol

Magaggie · 15/05/2018 10:25

Our PTA events like the summer and Christmas fairs, discos and such are always rubbish and follow the same tired old formula resulting in low attendance. Parents have joined the PTA to try and change things but those that run it refuse to listen and continue with doing things their way. So any new volunteers give up and leave.

budgiegirl · 15/05/2018 10:28

and none of the pinny-wearing, martyred volunteers ever seems to come to the obvious conclusion that this model of fundraising isn't working and it might be time to think of something else instead

So if you don’t like the events, join the PTA and organise an event that you think will work! Don’t make nasty, snide comments about pinny-wearing, martyred volunteers.