Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

999 replies

whyismykid · 13/05/2018 15:40

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

OP posts:
Scabbersley · 15/05/2018 15:52

I was never made to feel welcome and it was terribly cliquey. A lot of the ideas were terrible but noone wanted to do anything differently. I helped with one thing then walked away. The martyrdom was hard to take also. I always gave loads of money to all events as I wanted to support the school.

Scabbersley · 15/05/2018 15:53

Tbh most volunteer groups are the same tbh. I have a skill which is in demand by various clubs/pta which I do for free occasionally. But regular attendance left me cold.

Littleredboat · 15/05/2018 15:54

Well I try quite hard not to go nowadays but when I do go it’s because either me or my kids have been guilted into it.

BertrandRussell · 15/05/2018 15:57

"Ragwort people go out of duty - they believe that they are supporting by going and spending money and don't realise that the people manning the stalls see them as takers"

That's because they don't. But if you could be a bit more belittling and unpleasant maybe you might reach your weekly quota early........

budgiegirl · 15/05/2018 16:06

people go out of duty
Or because their kids love them - my children loved fetes, discos, cake sales and Christmas fairs. And spent a fortune there! They were always well attended.

catinapatchofsunshine · 15/05/2018 16:07

Thanks Bertrand, I think you'll find that applies better to some of your own comments.

anonME123 · 15/05/2018 16:08

i do actually go to the PTA but actually feel like a spare part most the time. in meetings i just feel like a bum on a seat to make the numbers up, the others all seem to have jobs and be involved in some way and i appear to be the yes man at this point.

BertrandRussell · 15/05/2018 16:12

"Thanks Bertrand, I think you'll find that applies better to some of your own comments."

I have not made a single unpleasant or belittling comment on this whole thread.

catinapatchofsunshine · 15/05/2018 16:27

Bertrand just from what I can see in the page I have visible your post at 7:50am was belittling, and your post to me was unpleasant.

BertrandRussell · 15/05/2018 16:34

At 7.50 I was pointing out that people had said repeatedly that many people have excellent reasons for not volunteering. It was not belittling.

However, I accept that my post-in response to your particularly nasty one- was unpleasant. I do not retract it!

Tartanscarf · 15/05/2018 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catinapatchofsunshine · 15/05/2018 16:41

Your 7:53 "you have noticed xyz haven't you?" is belittling.

There is nothing nasty about answering a question about why people attend with an explanation that many people do so out of duty, believing attending and spending money is supporting the event. The implication that those who do so are in fact takers is all over the thread, in the comments about people willing to attend fêtes etc but not man stalls or go to committee meetings.

BertrandRussell · 15/05/2018 16:49

As I said earlier, on a thread which has described PTA volunteers among other things as glory hunters, arseholes, bored Alpha mum housewives, cows, cunts, vipers and bitches my remarks seem positively anodyne!

Lennon80 · 15/05/2018 16:53

PTA (pain in the arse) all the people in it I know of are self important, small minded and not particularly nice. Also far too busy.

BertrandRussell · 15/05/2018 16:59

I rest my case.

GnotherGnu · 15/05/2018 17:03

I take it, therefore, Lennon8-, that you don't let your children use anything bought with funds raised by the PTA?

catinapatchofsunshine · 15/05/2018 17:06

In that context Bertrand it's especially peculiar that you consider my honest but not sycophantic answer to a question which didn't include any personal insults, to be "particularly nasty".

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 15/05/2018 17:07

Of course they will gnother, it's what many do. Reap the nenthe benefits for their children but heaven forbid they actually do something.

Just like the parents who won't pay for school trips or experiences but still expect their child to partake.

Lennon80 · 15/05/2018 17:10

Yes GnotherGnu - because I have forked out shit loads on endless raffle tickets etc. I pay tax, the majority of the school budget is from this not cake sales.

catinapatchofsunshine · 15/05/2018 17:15

Boxsets and Gnother I am sure you or members of your family also benefit from the acts or funding of others without reciprocating.

Only ten parents staffed the volunteer crossing patrol at my children's infant school, but I didn't refuse to supervise the other 50 children crossing the road.

What kind of vindictive mind comes up with the idea that only the children of the parent who volunteer should benefit?

In other areas of life we are all surely benefitting from something somewhere that someone else has done and we have not.

Additionally there are times when we don't consider the benefit to be a genuine benefit or worth the effort involved in bringing it about, but once the thing is a done deal it's churlish to boycott it!

BertrandRussell · 15/05/2018 17:19

Actually, I don't care whether people volunteer or not. I care aboutthe utter contempt shown towards people who do.

bridgetosomewhere · 15/05/2018 17:24

Because they meet during the day when I am at work...

I did help at the school fair on the hotdog stall for a morning and took the kids with me and it was a bit of a pain trying to supervise them and serve 300 hotdogs. But I can’t go to planning meetings

Lennon80 · 15/05/2018 17:25

Yes some of the PTA people are not as described, but there is a running theme in my experience. 'Utter contempt' is playing the martyr. If the question is being asked why don't you join it and this is the given reason, its simply answering the question.

budgiegirl · 15/05/2018 17:27

As I said earlier, on a thread which has described PTA volunteers among other things as glory hunters, arseholes, bored Alpha mum housewives, cows, cunts, vipers and bitches my remarks seem positively anodyne!

Don't forget the cupcake fuckers!

Actually, I don't care whether people volunteer or not. I care aboutthe utter contempt shown towards people who do

^This.

GettingBackToMe · 15/05/2018 17:30

Your idea of a creche (or supervised games room/playground for older kids) would encourage me OP. As DH works evenings and weekends I don't have anyone to leave the kids with whilst I volunteer - and no, they are in no way able to join in with 'helping', without giving me some kind of meltdown!

In the meantime I am happy to make cakes/come and spend money/whatever - so not all take, take, take Wink

Swipe left for the next trending thread