To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

[whyismykid]

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

"BertrandRussell
No one called you that"

No. They haven't. But I haven't called anyone lazy or selfish or a scrounger either. The sweeping generalisations are only allowed one way, it seems. Anyway, carry on piling onto the "glory hunters". But hey, think about that 10 minutes at the end of Scouts or football or whatever. It'll make a huge difference to everyone. And if you don't already (and I'm sure you do) a quick thank you is lovely.

grasspigeons thank you for explaining! I now get then why people think they are important re social events!

Colleysmill-so you don't volunteer because some of the other people who don't volunteer are vile! I quite understand that-the sniping from the sidelines can be very depressing.

It was almost bullying to be honest. There were vile disablist comments about my friend who was the chair, personal attacks about the rest of the committee. Screen shots being sent around with horrible comments on.

And this happened 2 years running at the end of the school year. 2nd year we all just resigned because we couldn't take anymore

@BertrandRussell so you saw others call non-volunteers lazy scroungers, but think that's alright, because you never said it. But feel aggrieved at people's experiences.

Well I didn't call PTA members cliquey, so that's okay then.

Why can you not admit that both sides of this fence (and there shouldn't be sides, since it's for the kids) are not perfect. I just don't understand this entrenched view that your efforts are being belittled. And that's the only story to tell.

And im not the shy retiring type of person but even i was upset by it all. Heaven knows how well known people manage trolls online.

So yes the whole thing made me leave the pta for good. I help out at scouts though so its not that i dont do any volunteering but even though this was a few years ago ive never been on a committee since

I think people are responding to the whole thread, not individual posters (though that might change if OP returns to her thread)

I volunteered to wrap Christmas presents last year, then wasn't given any proper instructions on when and where to collect the presents / wrap to be able to do it. 🤷‍♀️

All of our school fairs seem to take place on a school day and I work full time, so can't get to them. Though I literally just started (today!) flexible working, so will have Fridays off from now on, so may be able to volunteer a bit more.

I try to avoid the school fete because I really really hate those kind of events
Too busy, kids spend lots of money on tat, just not something I enjoy attending

There is no PTA at our school.

The school requests money periodically for stuff that they want to build/do and we give them money.

School/kids pretty nicely kitted out. When paying for excursions we have the option of paying a bit extra to cover any kids/families who might need help.

For extra curricular if we can't help out the kids don't do it. DS1 does band and DS2 does soccer. DH and I 'cover' for our kids there.

Much easier.

People are twats

Some certainly are, yes. The numerous posts here from women who've tried to volunteer and been made to feel so unwelcome by the PTA that they've been discouraged from ever doing so again are a pretty good example of said twattery.

I work and I also have a severely disabled child but no support network. I am either working or caring and no access to respite (not support network either) so volunteer work is virtually impossible for me. HTH

"I just don't understand this entrenched view that your efforts are being belittled. And that's the only story to tell"

I'm not saying that. Of course there are two sides to every story. And some people are awful. But the horrible things being said about volunteers massively outnumber the couple of dicks calling people who don't "lazy".

and our PTA meetings are usually during the day and not in the evening so anyone with a job 9-5 cannot attend. the area I live in has a low employment rate with many on benefits - which probably explains the timings of the PTA meetings. I know a few mums who are are in the PTA, all on benefits (this is not a benefit bashing - I get DLA too for my disabled child), which probably explains the timings of the meetings.

And yes, some voluntary organisations -PTAs, charity shops,food banks. Cat's Protection. leagues- are so badly run it would make you weep. And some of the people "running" them are awful. But they won't get better if nobody new ever joins in. And out of the 800 or so parents and carers at our primary school for example, you would have thought there would be more than 6 willing and able.......

I dont help becuase i don't like people.

I'm single, when I was married my husband was busy in general AND prioritised his time over him doing 'childcare' for me. When I did finally manage to wangle an evening off with him doing 'childcare' I turn up at the event ready to work, everything had already been done and I got blanked or faces pulled from rest of the volunteer's, who always did it. Turned out they were just one big clique and they all liked being martyrs because 'nobody help's' said in a whiney voice. Yes well there is a reason for that...

However, signing up online for 45 minute slots sounds very fair and organised and non cliquey. If I had a partner I could leave my children with I may well be tempted by that. I would say keep on doing what you are doing. Sounds a good way to do it :)

I have volunteered for pta in the past, going to meetings and helping out at fairs. I find the majority of the "fun''draising adult events - quiz nights, pampernights, bingo etc extremely unappealing so I don't attend those. I was a school gov for a few years. I have done my time. Currently have 3 children in 3 schools, keeping a calendar updated with the various charity days and trips and constant stream of requests for money keeps me occupied. Yy

I have volunteered all my life, community projects, charity, political campaigns... It is not something I only do for the local school. My job is related to volunteering. Successful volunteering benefits the volunteer as well as the beneficiary, I have sometimes found school volunteering tends to fall short when it comes to showing appreciation for people giving up their time, at worst they are rushed, stressful events with bossy people ordering bemused parents about. The best experiences usually involve inclusion.

• greeting by name / smile
• clear but not exhaustive instructions
• camaraderie (tea/ acknowledgement from fellow volunteers.
• thank you from Head (or member of SLT)

Just like reasons why people don't volunteer, there are reasons why a volunteer can't/ won't/ may not get any of the above. Busy pta members feeling unappreciated will pass that discontent on, busy stressed out teachers will forget to acknowledge volunteer parents. But the experience an individual has the first time volunteering at a school event will carry over and they may not want to volunteer again. It may be annoying to dedicated pta to feel they are pandering in some way to more reluctant members but volunteering is never completely selfless.

Because when I did volunteer the regular PTA members were a bit cliquey and there wasn't much for me to do anyway-they'd moaned about not having enough people but had then organised everything anyway so it was a waste of my time showing up.
I couldn't commit to all the events and meetings due to work and childcare, and it seemed if I couldn't do it all they didn't want me doing any of it!

I am not sure this thread is representative of peoples views on volunteers. Well I hope not. DS attended a cubs event this weekend, it was very busy and at the start the cub leaders had to manage the parking of hundreds of cars , a boring stressful task that could potentially have caused harm if done badly. I can understand that the actual activities with the children will bring their own reward but that task certainly didn't. I was so grateful for the opportunity my son had, and as I walked back to the cat I heard two separate groups of parents saying " you know they give up their weekends for this".

Car not cat!

I try and help with set ups for stuff but I have 3 ks1 children and DH doesn't get home till late so can't help with the actual events as I need to supervise my children. So it looks like I never help to everyone who attends !

I’m in Australia not UK but I’m not involved in our P&C as I find it too bitchy. The positions are made available again each year but they always vote the same people back in.

I do volunteer on the day though if I can.
We’ve had a fete before where each patent was asked to put in one hour on a stall.

Our major fundraiser is an obstacle course/fun run/splash a thon event that I always volunteer for. We get to throw wet sponges at the kids and squirt them with water guns The local fire brigade also come down with a fire truck and spray with the big hose too. It’s the best day of the school year and usually raises 15-20k. Volunteers get a free BBQ lunch + drink and we get a run of the course at the end of the day too

Our school also puts on a big volunteers morning tea at the end of the year where anyone who has helped out during the school year gets an invitation to attend (and stuff your face)

Our P&C also make it crystal clear where all funds go, the president often has a small paragraph in the school newsletter on what they’ve funded plus gives a speech at each grades presentation assembly at the end of the year too

The reason that the events put on - bake sale, fairs, quiz nights etc - are seemingly unappealing or old hat, is because they are reasonably cheap ie not a huge upfront out lay, and are fairly straightforward with minimal helpers (apart from fairs).

I've organised 2 really big events and had sleepless nights worrying about recouping the costs but the school had requested we do them. They were very successful and well supported and we made a lot of money but no way could I have run them every year. 1 of them started setting up at 7am and ran straight in to an evening event which I finished clearing up at 1am. Only 2 of us were there for the whole event.

I gave up eventually because of the constant criticism and lack of appreciation. Other parents moaned about a lack of events but wouldn't help. They had no idea how much work (and money it cost me personally) it took to put on what seemed to them like a small event.

For the PPs on here saying they would rather make a donation - I wish it were that easy. We tried. Many people want something for their money rather than just a donation, and yes it is about trying to build a community. If you want to volunteer but feel the PTA is unwelcoming could you get a couple of friends to volunteer with you? Then maybe you wouldn't feel so intimidated and could have your say about how the money us spent or what events to put on.

I don't support a PTA that is cliquey or bitchy or discriminatory but sometimes people are just frazzled and worn out from the sheer hard slog and are maybe a bit short tempered at that moment. It really is very hard work.