Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I really need to be preened, plucked, waxed and sprayed for my wedding?

109 replies

baxterboi · 11/05/2018 16:45

I am getting married in October this year.

I have my sister as my maid of honour and we are very similar, not very girly, dress for comfort etc.

Now it's a bit closer and I am planning what make up to wear and hair to have done people keep suggesting all these beauty treatments for th big day.

  • Waxing (not just my legs but my armpits and privates)
  • Make Up by an Make Up Artist
- Hair by a hairdresser
  • Spray tan
  • Manicure
  • Pedicure

Now I was planning on doing my own make up and hair and having my finger nails done but none of the other stuff.

AIBU or do people expect this as being the bride? I don't want fake tan on my dress or to look like a different person!

I feel like I'll look like a fat version of Miss Congeniality when she walks out of the warehouse after they have "beautified" her within an inch of her life!!!!!

OP posts:
Snowysky20009 · 11/05/2018 18:05

But irrelevant, but when I was 9 I was a 'flower girl' for my cousin, and all her bridesmaids were adults.

The morning of the wedding my man said 'snowy is very good at painting nails, as I'd done hers weekly since I was around 7.

I ended painting the bride, all bridesmaids and mother of the brides nails the morning of the wedding.

We had hairdressers and make up artists for the bridal party, but I remember the shock on several faces when they asked who done the nails and they replied 'our flower girl' lol

user1495490253 · 11/05/2018 18:09

My wedding was feautured on blogs and in magazines and yet I did my own hair and makeup, and painted my own nails (badly). Didn't do any of the other things, though I did shave my legs and underarms.

TheNavigator · 11/05/2018 18:09

I didn't do any of that for my wedding. But then it was over 20 years ago & I guess fashions have changed. But I wouldn't bother with any of that - would't even occur to me really. Shower, dress on, do my my make-up, go. I don't think I got my nails done, from memory.

MidnightAura · 11/05/2018 18:10

It’s up to you. People told me I needed all that done too. In the end I got my arm pits waxed, I did try getting my nails done but I hated the results,it was nice looking but was a pain in the arse.

I had my hair and make up done but that was a give in for me.

The80sweregreat · 11/05/2018 18:12

I don’t think it was such a big deal 20 + years ago. I did have my hair blow dried.

Somersetlady · 11/05/2018 18:14

Do whatever you want to do and feel comfortable with!

Personally i dont like that traditional bridey look with the helmet hair and long nails etc.

Natural tan from the sun, i did my own make up, wore my hair down, no nail extentions and had flat shoes for comfort and it suited me perfectly.

Thats some peoples idea of not making an effort but i wanted to just be myself and anything fake just isn't me.

Conversely i know some ladies who take better care of themselves who need a fake tan plastic nails and haor extensions to feel ‘themselves’ and have loved how they look on the day !

Be yourself.

TroubledLichen · 11/05/2018 18:15

Completely up to you whether you view the wedding as a good excuse to pamper yourself or whether you shudder at the thought of most of it. As long as you’re DH recognising the figure coming down the aisle towards him then do whatever you like.

From your list I did the following:

  • Waxing - yes but I do this anyway
  • Make Up by an Make Up Artist - no but I love make-up and wanted to do my own, also did the bridesmaids (at their request)
  • Hair by a hairdresser - yes but just a standard blow dry which I get weekly anyway
  • Spray tan - definitely not, think they look horrible
  • Manicure - yes, not part of my usual routine but did get one as figured people would look at my rings and therefore hands
  • Pedicure - no but was wearing closed toe shoes
Slanetylor · 11/05/2018 18:28

I did all those things! I loved myself!!!
Prior to that year I had never set foot in a salon but for 6 months before the wedding, I had pedicures, manicures, highlights in the lead up and then tan, nails ( I did myself) and hair makeup for wedding. I look back and think Wow, I looked so good!! Then I got pregnant, and the money this stuff costs was spent in better places and then I didn’t have the time and energy for it anymore.

Confusedbeetle · 11/05/2018 18:36

It is rubbish to do all that. Be yourself and dont pour money into the wedding money machine. Its an industry

Echobelly · 11/05/2018 18:40

I wanted to look like me getting married, there's no need to look like someone else's idea of what a bride should look like. I didn't do any of those things (well, just my normal shaving of anything that might me visible), I didn't diet or have a new fitness regime and my sister did my hair and makeup and it was fine. I did have a course of facial massages leading up to it because I enjoy them and thought it would make my skin look its best.

Also you don't want to start tanning, waxing etc just before your wedding as you skin might react to it

caoraich · 11/05/2018 18:41

Be yourself!

I was MoH at a wedding last week, the bride and I are both quite outdoorsy and don't wear much makeup.

The one thing I would say is that it was worth having our hair and makeup done on the morning of the wedding - the makeup was very natural but meant that we didn't go too red/blotchy in the sun, we both looked really fresh in the photos right up to the end of the night, and had lovely braids in our hair with flowers woven in - which fitted the outdoors in a field barefoot kind of theme. Neither of us would have managed that ourselves! It felt quite nice to be pampered on the morning of the wedding.

Certainly didn't have fake tan/waxing though and we both just filed our nails so they were neat.

Her husband did go to the effort of dealing with his unibrow and had his beard professionally styled/groomed/whatever you call it so it was more stylish than its usual fuzzy wild self.

Echobelly · 11/05/2018 18:43

NB,it's all fine if you usually do it, or like the idea. But if you're not keen, you don't have to!

milliemolliemou · 11/05/2018 18:47

Another one for not spending money unless you want to - and getting a trial run from hairdresser/make up artist if you do. IMHO so many young women know exactly what suits them and how to do their own makeup perfectly that I wonder why they pay a professional on the day.

EggysMom · 11/05/2018 18:52

The day before my wedding, MIL (who was staying with us) asked who was coming to help me dress, who was doing my hair, who was doing my make-up ... Nobody. That's not my style.

I managed to put my dress on myself. My hair was coloured two weeks prior, freshly washed. I don't normally wear any make-up, not even for nights out, so didn't wear any for the day. I did shave pits and legs for the day. No fake tan. No mani/pedi.

peodar · 11/05/2018 19:24

Big fat no to tanning if you don't already. I already waxed so just timed things to meet the wedding date. I did somehow convince DH to have his fingers waxed and a manicure which he actually quite enjoyed but unsurprisingly hasn't done it again since!

Frazzled2207 · 11/05/2018 19:26

I had a manicure and pedicure and facial but mostly to treat myself because I like getting these things done.
No spray tan but I do admit to going on sunbed a few times before the big day.
I also had legs waxed but that was mostly so that I didn't have to worry about hairy legs on honeymoon. Nobody saw my legs on the day.

AntiHop · 11/05/2018 19:32

I didn't have any of that on my wedding day. Didn't even wear make up. I don't wear make up anyway so I felt uncomfortable about conforming to beauty expectations on my wedding day.

geekymommy · 11/05/2018 19:52

Unless your marriage laws are very different from ours here in the US, you'll still be legally married even if you don't do any of those things. I had my hair done by a hairdresser but none of the other things. I have been married for almost fifteen years now.

UrgentScurryfunge · 11/05/2018 20:15

I went for a polished version of myself. I had a nice half up/ down do done by the hairdresser which was more elaborate than what I can do myself, but framed my face in a familiar way.

Shaved the usual bits as usual.

Did my own nails. They grow long naturally so they were trimmed several weeks before so they were a pleasant, even length. Clear varnish.

BM did make-up. I don't normally use much but she used foundation because of the photography. It was still my usual light style though.

I used a light DIY fake tan to balance out some tan lines. More of a gentle magnolia than orange Wink

I don't see much point in a radical makeover that makes people look unrecognisable.

Fluffyears · 11/05/2018 21:26

I got married 4.5 weeks ago. I usually get a bikini and underarm wax for holidays etc so got that done (the underarm was to make sure I had no shadow under my arms as my dress was sleeveless). I just shaved my legs in the morning when I showered. I got my nails done (painted toenails myself as I like to have painted nails) too. On the day I got a make up artist and hairdressers to do my hair and make up. It was great and meant I was stress free whilst they did me up. I wear make up just on nights out, holidays and when I feel like it so having a pro do it was easier than me ducking it up and getting stressed. We got married outside so I wanted an up-do and I cannot put my hair up myself so I always have it down. It was a gorgeous up-do and looked amazing. I was really happy with my hair and make up. I also got my eyebrows threaded by my usual lady who does an amazing job for £7.

I look awesome with a tan but I didn’t want streaks or the chance it would come off on my dress so didn’t bother.

My advice is to treat your hair to some deep conditioning in the run up and get it trimmed/coloured (if you do get colours done) just before, use charcoal toothpaste to whiten your smile, and use the ‘scrubby exfoliating gloves across shoulders and arms in the shower. Keep your skinnmoisturised and drink tons of water. Go to lush and get a wee skin bar that has a very slight subtle shimmer in it , it looks so great in pictures.

Anxiouschild · 11/05/2018 22:04

Pick and choose what you fancy. There are no rules!

I'm not the slightest bit interested in make-up and have never had anything waxed. Before I got married I had never had my nails done or a spray tan. I only wear dresses and heels for weddings and funerals, and the heels come off as soon as the ceremony bit is up.
I wanted to look like 'me' on our wedding day, but a better version if that makes sense? I had a spray tan (looked good in the photos but a PITA. Never again.), had a naturalistic make-up done (because I haven't got a fucking clue where to start doing it myself), had french manicure (practical job so wanted 'lady hands' for once!), eyebrows and lashes tinted to lessen need for make-up, and just a blowdry with headband bling added. My pits got a go over with a razor in the shower, but that was as far as hair removal went. I felt like Dale Winton with the make-up and tan as in the mirror it looked too much to my eyes, but the hairdresser/photographer/DM were right and it looked great in the photos. I definitely look like me but on a very good day.
So don't necessarily write off a bit of preening with professional help, just make sure you give them a clear brief of what you want to achieve.

Furano · 11/05/2018 22:11

I wouldn’t get a spray tan but I would for sure get everything else done on your list.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 11/05/2018 22:14

I agree with the PP about looking like you at your wedding.

Went to a wedding once where the bride had had such a fake tan that she was hardly recognisable. And it came off on her dress so her white frock had an edging of orange by the end of the ceremony. Classy.

cliffdiver · 11/05/2018 22:21

Haven't RTFT, but unless you are wearing black DO NOT GET A SPRAY TAN...

It will rub off on your dress... DO NOT GET A SPRAY TAN

HeedMove · 11/05/2018 22:27

I didnt get a spray tan cause I didnt want to ruin my dress. Id just been in spain two weeks before on my surprise hen do so had a bit of colour. Did my own make up. Did get my hair done though and my toe nails cause I always have my toe nails shellaced, think I stuck fake manicured nails on. Waxing, no bloody way! Do whatever makes you happy and comfortable.