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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I really need to be preened, plucked, waxed and sprayed for my wedding?

109 replies

baxterboi · 11/05/2018 16:45

I am getting married in October this year.

I have my sister as my maid of honour and we are very similar, not very girly, dress for comfort etc.

Now it's a bit closer and I am planning what make up to wear and hair to have done people keep suggesting all these beauty treatments for th big day.

  • Waxing (not just my legs but my armpits and privates)
  • Make Up by an Make Up Artist
- Hair by a hairdresser
  • Spray tan
  • Manicure
  • Pedicure

Now I was planning on doing my own make up and hair and having my finger nails done but none of the other stuff.

AIBU or do people expect this as being the bride? I don't want fake tan on my dress or to look like a different person!

I feel like I'll look like a fat version of Miss Congeniality when she walks out of the warehouse after they have "beautified" her within an inch of her life!!!!!

OP posts:
jaseyraex · 11/05/2018 17:09

I got waxed before my wedding but that's just something I normally do anyway so was nothing special. It's all a personal choice. My friend did my hair because it's very long down to my bum and I couldn't get it all up nicely myself, she did a great job. Did my own make up, painted my own nails. Definitely no spray tan here. I got married in September and it bucketed down with rain all day long! I was bloody glad I didn't pay a fortune on fancy hairdressers and a tan that would have ruined my dress. All that matters is you're happy and comfortable on the day. Your soon to be husband is marrying you after all, if all that stuff isn't you then there's no need to be doing it. Congratulations OP, I hope you have a lovely day when it comes!

Agent13 · 11/05/2018 17:11

No you don’t have to! I didn’t - I also felt very strongly that I wanted to look like me at my wedding. A friend did my nails, I did get a hair dresser to put my hair up but I did my own make up. Never normally get spray tans etc so didn’t occur to me to do so for the wedding.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 11/05/2018 17:11

God no don't spray tan and wax if it's not you. I did my own makeup, I practiced a couple of times and had a week of trying to do false lashes, luckily I got the knack of them but I did have to trim them down to avoid the Miss Piggy look! One thing I'd recommend is Aveeno moisturiser every day on all visible bits of your body for a week or so beforehand, great for sorting out dry skin.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 11/05/2018 17:11

Don’t do anything new. Be comfortable. It can be nice to have pro hair and makeup as long they do something you like.

VanellopeVonSchweetz99 · 11/05/2018 17:12

Don't do anything you wouldn't do normally for a nice 'do.
Waxing can be awful and leave you with ingrown hairs, spray tans can be a PITA and yes it rubs off, fake nails and lashes go wonky and annoying.
Spend a lot on a good haircut + nice comfy-ish shoes and less on the dress. Pro makeup is overrated in my book, ask a friend who is a makeup wiz instead. Less is more when it comes to foundation & powder.

Doobigetta · 11/05/2018 17:12

I've just got married, so am an expert Smile
I had a bikini wax in the salon I go to every month anyway. Also had brow and lash tint so didn't have to worry about makeup running.
Didn't do any fake tan, I decided that I only wanted a very slight tan and I'd been on holiday recently enough to have that.
Did my own toenails and had my fingernails done. Although tbh I didn't like them.
I had a hairdresser put my hair up.
I did my own makeup. Even the "natural" looks I've had done in the past have been way ott for me and I didn't want that. I practised loads, bought new stuff and in the end did it in a rush because I lost track of time.
Do what feels right for you. You'll be too busy on the day to look in the mirror anyway, once you've started.

catinapoolofsunshine · 11/05/2018 17:12

No.

I never wear make up or get my nails "done" so I didn't for my wedding either, and I straightened my then very long hair myself and wore it down. I was in the habit of having it highlighted anyway so I had that done about ten days before the wedding. I did buy a nice long dress and fancy shoes though. That was it.

I refused to carry flowers to my mother's disgust - they look nice growing but I'd feel a prat parading about carrying them, and they make me sneeze Wink

DH and I walked down the aisle together and nobody "gave me away" because I'm not a second hand coat.

I still made concessions I wish I hadn't done to keep the peace, crucially getting married in my mother's church by her absolute dick of a vicar, who suggested during the service that we were marrying for visa reasons (DH is from a more affluent EU country and this was 14 years ago, before Brexit was a twinkle in Farage's beady eye...) Hmm

Do what pleases you. Don't get talked into being something that you don't want to be.

The80sweregreat · 11/05/2018 17:13

Send ‘dh to be ‘ for a ‘back crack and sack ‘ wax beforehand! 😀

Bluesmartiesarebest · 11/05/2018 17:14

YANBU

You don’t need to do fake tans, waxing or any other stuff that has been suggested. Why would anyone want their legs or other bits waxed when they will be covered by a long dress? Or a pedicure when your feet will be in shoes? I wore socks and trainers under my wedding dress because it was a cold day!

TonTonMacoute · 11/05/2018 17:15

Quite simply, no.

I had my hair done on the morning, had a nice dress (obvs) did own make up (don’t wear it normally) and possibly nails (can’t remember).

thethoughtfox · 11/05/2018 17:16

Don't do anything you don't want. However, a make up artist will make sure the make up has magic staying powers and will stay on all day so you don't start looking sweaty and red later on. Plus you may be very emotional and having to do your make up perfectly for pictures is a challenge most people could do without.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 11/05/2018 17:16

May I advise you don't offer to Veet your new dh's pubic hair and testicles in your honeymoon room.... Blush?

Mooey89 · 11/05/2018 17:19

I mean, im getting married in September, I’m a make up and beauty addict, and I’m having:

Hair done (highlighted a week before, styled on the day)
Make up by a make up artist
Fake lashes
Nails
Pedicure
Bikini/leg/eyebrow wax
Spray tan
Spa day the week before with facial/body scrub

BUT, and this is a big but, I do all of those things regularly anyway, so i wouldn’t feel myself without it, and I want to feel like my best version of myself on the day.

Equally there are loads of brides who would think I was absolutely ridiculous and over indulgent and would be Hmm at that amount of faff!!!

Do whatever you’d like to do to feel your best, have a great day marrying the love of your life!

BiddyPop · 11/05/2018 17:19

I was going on honeymoon to a resort with pool/beach so I did get waxed to not have to shave there and was comfortable in swimwear.

I got my hair put up by a hairdresser on the morning as it was long and I wanted it to stay put nicely for the day. But no colour or other stuff beforehand. And I went to my regular hairdresser in their salon at regular opening time - he didn't travel to us (he and his team did an updo for me and DSis the bridesmaid and a wash/blowdry for my other 2 DSis and DM).

I did my own makeup, but I was reasonably confident doing my makeup myself anyway as a regular thing. And so did all the ladies in the household (do their own I mean).

I didn't have spray tan, or manicure or pedicure done beforehand either. I can't even remember if I had painted my nails - I don't think so.

It depends on what you want and how you would like to look on the day, and how comfortable you will be doing things to achieve that look yourself.

So if you know what you want and can do most of it yourself, go for it. If you need the help of someone for 1 or 2 elements, book someone but don't feel that you need to have everything done at all. Or that you have to get someone to come to your house/hotel where you will be in the morning getting ready.

DiddimusStench · 11/05/2018 17:19

I was told by someone very wise that you should look like yourself on your wedding day. Your husband is marrying you, not a made up version of yourself and when you look back at your pictures you don’t want to not recognise yourself! She was totally right.

So if you don’t do any of that normally, then don’t.

I think I had nails and hair done professionally. Make up by a friend. I couldn’t possibly tell you if I shaved.....

Huffinpuff · 11/05/2018 17:21

Definitely don't get your makeup done unless they give you a trial run before the day. My friend had her makeup done and the woman made her look like a china doll/prostitute and her eyelashes were sticking together! She didn't want to complain as her sister had paid for it as a 'treat' and she is overly polite!
And fake tan is vile (and stinks). What's wrong with being the colour you were born with.

Spudlet · 11/05/2018 17:21

Not if you don't want to, no. I had my hair done by a hairdresser because I wanted a fancy-schmancy updo and I'm not someone who can do her own hair - but I did my own makeup, and one of my younger cousins did my nails for me on the morning. I had a lovely bubble bath the night before and opened a new razor (luxurious stuff!) so I got a nice smooth shave on my legs and pits.

I just wanted to look like me, but me on my best day. And I reckon I did. Although I think a lot of that had to do with what a lovely, happy day it was. That's what really makes you look good, IMO!

BikeRunSki · 11/05/2018 17:23

I am not at all girly. I did my own (very curly) hair and hated the trial make up, so did my own, very light touch, make up too.

I did agree to a manicure, because everyone one told me that people would want to take pictures of my hand and ring. In fact, nobody did!

Just be a clean and tidy version of you, in a nice outfit. It’s you that your partner wants to marry!

MeMyShelfandIkea · 11/05/2018 17:24

I did my own make up etc for my first wedding, I looked nice (even if I do say so myself).

Had a make up artist for my second wedding, I definitely looked different to my everyday self but I thought it went with the whole wedding day "look" (had a white one the second time around). Had I just had a simple do/not gone for the white dress then I'd have been fine with my usual make up.

I did do my own french manicure though and went with the photographer's advice in not bothering with getting a fake tan - he said that even if it looks subtle in real life it always comes out orange in photos.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 11/05/2018 17:25

I did nothing I wouldn't already do to look smart and tidy. I have short hair so I washed it and it always air dries anyway. I de-fluffed it a bit. I did my own makeup as I hate people touching my face and don't wear much anyway. No toenail paint - closed toe shoes. Finger nails were done in gel varnish. I left my glasses on as I can't see if I don't. I did shave my armpits because my dress didn't have sleeves.

NotTheFordType · 11/05/2018 17:25

I was very stressed on my wedding day (mainly by family expecting bullshit)

Your wedding day sounds much more enjoyable!

Nifflerbowtruckle · 11/05/2018 17:25

I asked my cousin (ex beautician) if I should wax for my wedding, she said no. She said it's a lot of pain if your not used to it and said shave legs and armpits and veet shower for bikini. I had my hair done at a hairdressers but not a big fancy one, didn't do nails and had make up done by artist because I'm crap at it.

I shaved my husbands head and tidied his beard a couple of days before the wedding 😁

Sparklingbrook · 11/05/2018 17:26

I had my hair and make up done but I left my hair down in it's normal style with flowers on a band and veil.

I can never understand why people that never have their hair up, ever suddenly have an up do on their wedding day.

I also had a manicure of my own nails which I am glad of as there were quite a few shots of the ring/bouquet etc.

Not a fan of false things personally whether nails/tan/hair or eyelashes. Of all the weddings I have been to I have preferred the look of brides that look like themselves.

PieAndPumpkins · 11/05/2018 17:26

I hired a local make up lady to come to my house, but once it was on with my white dress I felt the makeup was far too dark - I like natural looks and it didn't turn out as i'd hoped despite a practice run beforehand. I ended up wiping a lot of it off.
I had a talented friend do my hair for me and LOVED it.

You do you! You have to be comfortable Smile

diddl · 11/05/2018 17:27

Spray tan??!! Hahahahahaha.

If it's not a thing that you do, why would you do it for your wedding day?

I shaved my pits & legs & plucked my eyebrows as that's what I do anyway.

Minimal make up-as it was a special occasion, clear nail varnish, both
done by me.

Hair in French plait-done by friend.

Quite a fuss for meGrin