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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do I really need to be preened, plucked, waxed and sprayed for my wedding?

109 replies

baxterboi · 11/05/2018 16:45

I am getting married in October this year.

I have my sister as my maid of honour and we are very similar, not very girly, dress for comfort etc.

Now it's a bit closer and I am planning what make up to wear and hair to have done people keep suggesting all these beauty treatments for th big day.

Waxing (not just my legs but my armpits and privates)
Make Up by an Make Up Artist

- Hair by a hairdresser

Spray tan
Manicure
Pedicure

Now I was planning on doing my own make up and hair and having my finger nails done but none of the other stuff.

AIBU or do people expect this as being the bride? I don't want fake tan on my dress or to look like a different person!

I feel like I'll look like a fat version of Miss Congeniality when she walks out of the warehouse after they have "beautified" her within an inch of her life!!!!!

OP posts:

funnelfanjo · 11/05/2018 17:27

Do what you want to do that feels good for you and won’t stress you out feeling weird or uncomfortable.

I wanted a fancy up-do for my hair as I didn’t wear a veil, and had fun planning it with my hairdresser. On the day, me, my mum and MIL went together to the salon to get our hair done, and it was a lovely hour - they just had a wash and blow dry.

I had my hands and feet done the day before with nail painting, but it’s normal for me to get them done occasionally as a treat. My regular leg (only) waxing scheduled a few days before, mainly for decency wearing shorts on honeymoon.

No fake tans, no facials or pamper packages and did my own make-up as I prefer a very light/natural look and I’ve never liked the result when anyone else has done it.

Jaxhog · 11/05/2018 17:28

Nooooooo! No spray tan or you-will-regret-it, when you look like a turkey in your wedding photos. Waxing all over - totally unnecessary, unless you are a virgin and your husband-to-be has a fetish about body hair.

Seriously, do what you normally do, with a little extra glam (maybe), be yourself and enjoy your day.

CoffeeIsNotEnough · 11/05/2018 17:29

No, just be yourself.

If you are a high maintenance beauty fan, who enjoys these things, great, fine, go ahead. Primp, preen and pamper all you want.

But as general requirements for a wedding day they are bonkers.

I had my hair cut the week before and my sister blow dried it for me on the day. I did my own minimal makeup. Looking at the photos now, twenty years later, I think I look good. I wearing a great smile.

Loonoon · 11/05/2018 17:30

Quite a lot of the younger generation of my family are getting married at the moment and have all of the treatments you describe. Some of them look absolutely nothing like their normal selves at the end of it, I honestly didn't recognise one cousin's new wife when I saw his wedding photos - I thought he must have split up with the pretty girl I had met and married someone else. I think it is quite sad that they don't look like themselves on the day and when they look back at the photos.

Have or don't have whatever treatments you want OP. Don't be pushed into being someone you're not.

sprinklesandsauce · 11/05/2018 17:30

It is a nice treat if you want to pamper yourself, but be careful you don't end up not looking like yourself.

I did my own makeup and nails, and had my hair done at my usual hairdresser in the morning.

It might be nice to do your toenails too, even if you are wearing shoes, as you might take them off, but I wouldn't bother with spray tan etc.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 11/05/2018 17:30

The only thing I had done for my wedding was my hair - everything else I did myself, including make up. And no, I didn't do extra waxing or shiz like that - just the normal shaving of legs and pits, same as any other time!

My hair was done by a client for me - and I'm glad she did it because it would have been a right faff for me to do it myself under the circs. She also warned me off washing it on the day, said to do it a day or 2 prior but it would be too slippery to hold a style well if I did it on the actual day - good advice!

Aside of that, all my own work. And no spray tan! I would have looked totally fake if I had had one of those.

BlackBetha · 11/05/2018 17:30

I didn't do any of that stuff for my wedding (have never been fake-tanned or had a pedicure in my life actually). It's fine for those who enjoy it, but don't do it just because other people think you should - it's definitely not compulsory!

I am slightly trying to imagine what style of wedding dress would require a bikini wax... or maybe it's supposed to be for the wedding night, though these days surely the couple are usually already familiar with each other's personal grooming habits?

The80sweregreat · 11/05/2018 17:31

I hate my wedding pictures! How I wish all this had been around ( I would have taken out a loan to pay)
Go for it - you won’t regret it !

FrangipaniBlue · 11/05/2018 17:33

If you don't normally tan then don't otherwise you don't look like you in your photos IYSWIM?

I'd only get pits and legs waxed if you're going on honeymoon straight after to a hot climate, it'll save you shaving while you're away (assuming you usual shave!!) but if your not or you don't normally shave then I wouldn't bother with the waxing either.

Hair - depends how confident you are doing it and that'll stay done, I'm shit at doing my own hair so got a hairdresser to do it.

Makeup - again depends how confident you are, i'm pretty ok at doing my own but I can never get it to last, so I got it done by a pro but purely for that reason, I didn't want to look like my face had melted just in time for the evening guests arriving

Shockers · 11/05/2018 17:33

I’ve seen brides who don’t look like themselves on their wedding day. It’s not fancy dress, so I don’t know why they do it.

Don’t have a spray tan!

DextroDependant · 11/05/2018 17:33

Do whatever YOU want to do, as much or as little as you like.

Bear in mind your husband needs to recognise you and you want to look back at your pictures and recognise yourself.

Pippylou · 11/05/2018 17:35

I got married ages ago and I'm normally scruffy. I didn't have makeup or hair or anything really but I don't wear makeup ever, so it would have felt odd. Probably shaved my legs, etc.

I looked ok, got a nice dress (gold silk). DH complained I didn't look "myself" in the dress!

It's up to you. Don't think anyone batted an eyelid at mine, think they were all surprised I wasn't in tracky bottoms. Was told it was a nice wedding, I wish I'd relaxed & enjoyed it a bit more. :-)

haverhill · 11/05/2018 17:36

I did my hair and make-up. I had my nails done and a light fake tan as it was high summer and I look nice a bit gold. I look like me with a posh frock on. I don’t get the overly- perfected bride thing.

happymummy12345 · 11/05/2018 17:40

I never ever wear makeup or have lashes or a tan, so I knew I wouldn't on my wedding day. I shave, so I shaved as normal. I always have my eyebrows and nails done professionally, so naturally I did that. I was meant to be getting my hair done, but the hairdresser didn't turn up the morning of the wedding and didn't give any notice or say she wouldn't be coming until less than an hour before the ceremony, so my hair wasn't done either.
I literally just did what I always do regularly.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 11/05/2018 17:42

The scariest thing I have ever seen was an acquaintance from school, dolled up in her bridal gear. She had over-dyed her hair to a totally different colour, she had excessive scouse brow, a huge bouffant 'beehive' do with extensions and enough make up on to excite Ru Paul (fake lashes, contour, lip filler). She had also fake tanned (this girl had the most beautiful red hair and pale skin). She looked, as my nan would have said, a right bugger. It doesn't look like her. At least she had a good time, I guess!

goose1964 · 11/05/2018 17:43

DD had her nails done and we, the bridesmaids and me, did both hair and makeup. It's up to you what to do.

WeeMadArthur · 11/05/2018 17:43

You don’t want to look at your wedding photos and not be able to recognise yourself!

Loyaultemelie · 11/05/2018 17:44

I really didn't want my hair and makeup done, I had long hair then so wore it down with a very small tiara-y thing, did my own minimal makeup because I'm not into makeup at all and no tan as I'm naturally very pale almost blue so any tan makes me look tangoed. I couldn't see the point because I just wouldn't look like me and dh was marrying me not someone else. (Tbf though I realise I'm unusual in the hating people doing my nails/makeup etc)

niccyb · 11/05/2018 17:47

I had my hair done as not very good with up dos.
I had a pre wedding make over done and paid £20. I looked like shit and the girl did me up so much I looked like a clown.
As a result i decided to do my own for the big day. I went around the make up counters in selfridges and most were willing to make me over for free to try out new products. I got loads of samples all for free and did my own on the big day and did a better job.
Shaved my legs and didn’t bother with a tan.
As for my nails, this was the one time in my life I have ever had false nails, and an hour before the nail on the wedding ring finger broke and my nails felt weak for months afterwards!

It’s your wedding, you can do anything you want. Enjoy it, it will go in a flash x

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 11/05/2018 17:50

Of course you don't need to OP. I'd be extremely is any of the replies said otherwise.

I've never been to a wedding where the bride was fake tanned/full mua cosmetic job/fake fingernails etc. now I think about it. I know it's a thing, but not a thing for everyone by any means.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 11/05/2018 17:50

extremely surprised

MirandaWest · 11/05/2018 17:52

I did get my eyebrows waxed - do it about every 3 years or so.

And did shave my armpits

userabcname · 11/05/2018 17:52

No of course you don't. The only thing I did was have a manicure. Do what you want to be comfortable. I think a lot of brides do fake tan and get waxed but I always assume it's for the honeymoon afterwards. My honeymoon was in Iceland in December so tan and waxing definitely not needed!!

FizzyGreenWater · 11/05/2018 17:59

Well basically dressing up as someone totally different on your own wedding day seems... a bad idea. Spray fucking tan? Err no!

Presumably you don't actually want to look at the photos of your own wedding and see some primped stranger holding hands with your DH?

Think of a time/occasion you felt like a million dollars and go with that! So - yes to nice hair but hair YOU like, whether that be put up or flowing free. No to tans and eyebrows and random shit that isn't part of your general routine - you want to look like you. As for waxing, well I got married with really hairy legs because... I wanted to. So nerr.

DailyMailClickbait · 11/05/2018 18:04

Go in the way you feel most comfortable. I had my hair cut and coloured the week before, a mate did my nails the day prior. I had a shower, shaved my legs and pits and that was that! Did my own hair and makeup on the day.

If getting treatments and the full monty done is what you want, then go for it. But equally if you want to take care of yourself and not have a lot of fuss then that's fine as well - it's your wedding so do it your way!

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