To be fucked off at being so pale

[BrightonCalling]

Sick of it!

Going to a party with in laws tomorrow night and its either try and gradual tan my legs a bit or wear trousers. Its so fucking annoying.

And before anyone goes down the pale and elegant/pale and interesting route, we're talking a dead corpse blueish clammy shade of pale here, not a gorgeous opaque creamy pale.

Its so annoying. I dont even want to be a bronzed goddess just to have legs that look slightly coloured. You cant just slip on a dress you have to actually prep, do the exfoliating thing, then assess whether the rest of your body matches up, blah blah blah. Couldnt my mother have chosen someone swarthier to mate with?

Just needed to rant. If anyone would like to unleash their rage at their fish flesh coloured legs or another body part nemesis, feel free.

Off to gradual tan me legs now. Or ponder my collection of jeans.

/rant over

Checking in to peruse this thread for recommendations.

My top tip - you're already too late, should have started with the waxing, exfoliating and fake tan moisturising when it was snowing back in February .

I really should listen to my own advice .

Probably for the same reasons that many, many people worldwide "colour in" their faces daily, bob. See also: people dying their hair, wearing impractical fashion garments etc. It might be "mental" on some sort of higher philosophical plane but, back in reality, people want to present themselves a certain way.

My Dad bless him, born in the mid 30's was often accused of being foreign as he was so dark. He had beautiful dark skin and dark hair.

I inherited his hair but sadly his skin tone skipped me and I too appear to be quite dead.
Weirdly I don't tan either and can be out all day in hot sun and not even turn a slight shade of brown (or red)

I'm going to California next month and was debating a fake tan on my legs but then I read an article in the Fail about some celebrity or other on the beach in L.A and it described her as having 'Beautiful alabaster skin' and I figured I could be happy with that.

I'd love to know what tights KM used in this picture they look very natural.
Any insider knowledge?

The picture accompanied an article on KM wearing nude tights in the DM.
I was hoping she'd start a new trend of no tights for formal occasions - I think it's an American businesswoman thing. You have to wear 'pantyhose' to be taken seriously.
i.e. you have to encase your legs in a synthetic fabric on boiling hot days.
Misogynistic / patriarchal diktat methinks.

My legs look like corned beef. Somehow simultaneously pale and mottled with red bumps all over. And veiny. Every fake tan goes on weirdly streaky. I’ve tried a lot. Still persevering though. I never put sun cream on my legs and they never burn or change colour in any way. I absolutely hate tights so I just take my white/red/orange striped legs out regardless.

I usually wear Maybelline foundation in Ivory in summer (if I wear any at all, which isn't that often). In winter I wear Lancome Teint Idole in shade 007, which is a slightly cool (pinkish) toned pale shade. I think they do have one which is even lighter but it also looked slightly more pink, might be feasible for anyone with very pale complexion that usually comes with nordic white-blonde or celtic red hair types. They will often have a tester tube available if you ask.

but what is inherently wrong with having very pale legs, is what I don't get? Why is everyone saying its horrible and they need to be covered?
Thats what my legs look like, its never occurred to me that everyone sees them as something hideous.

The grey blue turkey flesh just is objectively unattractive though unfortunately. I totally get you OP. Alabaster goddess in the style of Nicole Kidman; glorious. My Celtic purply mottled flesh? Not so much. I use a bit of Vita Liberata as I have great legs shape wise, so am not covering them up, and I am not wearing hosiery in the height of summer. I wear hold ups for a start, and over about 25 degrees they......don't.

For those looking for foundation in pale colours, I gave up that quest.

Try SunSense Face 50spf. Especially if you are young - factor 50 sunscreen to protect pale skin and as it's a tinted sunscreen it is the merest of hints of colour - enough to just improve things a little but no harsh lines or orange tones. Not thick like normal sunscreen - more a liquid foundation runniness.

Can highly recommend!

stopPOP but if you don't tan normally then I don't think a sunbed will tan you. Won't it just burn you? I reckon you'd be better with fake tan.
I never understood the whole changing foundation between summer and winter. Then I realised some people gain some colour in summer I do not. Same as always, or burnt if I'm not religious with sun cream.
To the pp who we annoyed about reapplying every 2 hours all summer - I highly recommend the one application sun creams. I've been using Calypso Once a Day factor 30 and it's excellent. Soaks in in no time (gel not cream) and stays all day. Maybe wouldn't trust it quite as much abroad but using it in the UK I've never been burnt.

@gruffalopuffalo Good point, never considered that

I’m pale. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me or my pale friends. My palest friend is beautiful. Her look is very raw and strong. Freckles across her nose, curly hair, muscular body and straight lips. And yes, blue skin. She’s her and she’s bloody perfect. Thank god she doesn’t try to dye her skin to conform.

@myfriendbob Nothing wrong at all with pale legs, inherently, if someone prefers them/isn't bothered. And whilst I've bigger things to worry about etc, for me I would just prefer to look tanned while I'm on holiday. The rest of the year I'm not bothered.

I do have a thick skin and can take the jokes that accompany my paleness but it would be nice to look tanned and glowing as opposed to pale and waxy. I had a spray tan once and felt great! But after a couple of days the ankles/wrists/elbows looked very patchy so it wasn't a great investment tbh.

@gruffalopuffalo I have tried the Calypso once a day, but find it doesn’t last & I end up burning anyway. Despite following the instructions to the letter.

I’m the same. St tropez is your friend. I’ve tried them all and with practised application it gives a very natural lovely light tan.

Try the express one and do keep on for the max three hours, rinse off before bed, next day you’re golden.

I have stolen moonkissedlegs for my new username!

I too am blessed with mottled, corn beef legs. I am thick of ankle, calf and thigh too, so it just feels like there is acres of blue/grey skin everywhere.

Makeup is also a nightmare. I usually have to go for the palest/second palest shade. Unless I use a foundation with abolsitely flashback (the only one I have found so far on the highstreet that doesn't is Healthy Mix) then on a night out photo I either look like a shining beacon amongst normal toned faces, or I look dead. I was tagged in a photo on FB last year and I literally looked like a smiling corpse amongst my friends! It was actually a bit creepy!

I sometimes use the Hindu Sands gradual liquid gold stuff, it's really nice and goes o well. But with any fake tan, even if I took to my knees and the tops of my feet (where they meet my legs) with a power sander and dolloped a mountain on moisturiser on top of that, I would still get dark patches.

I’m black.

My knees are dark due to pigmentation and the ingrown black hairs look like stubble. Black skin scars very easily so I still have an assortment of childhood scars. Above my knees rarely sees sunlight so that is a different colour brown. My chest is even lighter so in a short evening dress or swimsuit it’s a patchwork quilt of shades of brown.

The grass isn’t greener .

Moonkissed - like decorating, prep is the key!

Exfoliate - not with product, a vigorous rub with a rough flannel and shower gel is fine. Concentrate on dry areas.

After that moisturise dry points - elbows, knees (front and back), ankles, armpits, line where bras sit (yup, fake tan product collects here), hands. I use Vaseline intensive care not st tropez, any stuff will do. Moisturise face with light dollop of normal face cream. Let it soak in for at least 15 mins.

Then get scrape of Vaseline (or your child’s eczema epiderm) and apply to v dry bits, like certain hands and ankle patches - this will depend on your body.

Use gloves. Not branded just medical latex gloves. Do the backs of your hands with the other gloved hand at the end.

Mix product with a little moisturiser for face, feet and hands. Just a touch - 1 part moisturiser to 3 parts product approx.

After full application, blend certain sections with a lightly moisturised glove - ankles hands feet knees armpits - to blend.

Finally use a cotton pad and moisturiser on v dry patches like ankles to remove excess product. Backs of ankles esp as this is the killer point.

It takes practice but it genuinely works well if you follow those steps. If you’re slapdash it looks shit but this doesn’t take long once you get used to it.

I just wear nude tights if I'm wearing a skirt or dress. I need them anyway cos I get chub rub on my thighs.

I do get a bit of colour if I'm out in the sun at lot but my legs just don't change. I've learned to embrace the pale skin. I'd sooner be my natural purple than waste my time to just end up looking orange.

You don’t see the men being expected to do all this shit to their bodies. Some do, and it’s not usually a positive indication of their personality, but there’s no expectation for them to do anything but be clean.