To be fucked off at being so pale

[BrightonCalling]

Sick of it!

Going to a party with in laws tomorrow night and its either try and gradual tan my legs a bit or wear trousers. Its so fucking annoying.

And before anyone goes down the pale and elegant/pale and interesting route, we're talking a dead corpse blueish clammy shade of pale here, not a gorgeous opaque creamy pale.

Its so annoying. I dont even want to be a bronzed goddess just to have legs that look slightly coloured. You cant just slip on a dress you have to actually prep, do the exfoliating thing, then assess whether the rest of your body matches up, blah blah blah. Couldnt my mother have chosen someone swarthier to mate with?

Just needed to rant. If anyone would like to unleash their rage at their fish flesh coloured legs or another body part nemesis, feel free.

Off to gradual tan me legs now. Or ponder my collection of jeans.

/rant over

Fake tan goes weird and streaky on me.

When I planned my (winter) wedding I had to tell my mother months in advance that I would not be wearing fake tan and she would have to accept my natural pallor but at least my wedding dress came down to the floor..

There are photos of a friends wedding when I wore a lovely knee length dress where she asked if I couldn't have put a bit of fake tan on my white legs. I was wearing fake tan.

Now my right leg is a total fright with scars, swelling and discoloration from injury and surgery, so at least it deflects attention from the whiter than whiteness!

Pale here too but most I know, pale or not would put something on before going bare legged. Sally Hansen airbrush legs is my saviour. No exfoliating or gradual tan required and very natural.

There was a magazine article a few years ago showing (unnatural) tanned skins against pale skin. The pale skin looked so much better; younger and fresher. I just look at my very pale daughter (mixed race but paler than my Irish/English skin) who is so confident showing off her legs.

Just popped on to cheer you up with a bit of info. My best friend has the skin you describe and has to stay out of the sun. She is 40 next week and looks about 25. I on the other hand ( Olive skin. Tan easily) look every year of my 43 and probably get mistaken for her mum when we are together. Imo fair skin ages so much better!!!

I'm corpse-pale but am fine with it.

Totally recommend the new Isle Of Paradise tan. You can get it in Boots. They do drops so all you have to do is mix it with your daily moisturiser and you can use on your face too. Just start with a couple of drops per limb (if that makes sense). Totally streak free x

Given the weather forecast, I think the trousers route is the best to follow.

Sad to read of someone unhappy in their own skin.

I'm pale and skinny legs "seen more meat on 2 legs hanging out of a tree" been told! Also pale face means I can't put unliner on as I look like a vampire! Love this thread-have learnt some great tips thanks OP. Think tights (not ideal I kno but ok) or maybe jeans anyway as looks like a chilly day (creeps off sounding about 90) Have a good time (would love to know if others at party also wearing jeans)

speakout - that's a great help.
The only thing you can definitely remember about those amazing tights is that they were £5.
I'll have no problem so finding the same pair.

Only having a chuckle.

I know exactly how you feel! I love winter as I can layer up and my pale skin doesn't look as bad haha. If I know I'm wearing anything showing my legs I use gradual tanner too! I do it in the morning a couple of layers and by the night time it looks acceptable lol.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side 😅 I’m a poc, and I often look longingly at women with tanned bronze legs but my legs are far too dark and ashy. I don’t have that bronze glowy undertone instead they look very dark/dull My knees and elbows are hideous (doesn’t matter how much I slap on moisturiser) they look like tree barks lol! Even when they have dry skin I rarely see pale people with visibly ashy skin (or to the extent that I do)

OP if you have generally many carrots and go even a bit out in the sun you ll get a nice not very carroty colour. They actually sell supplements but just eat carrots it's the same thing!

Urgh, I gave up on any form of tan years ago. I’m not dedicated enough to fake it. But the absolute worst thing for me is the constant sun cream routine, every summer. At home. In Yorkshire. Factor 30 every 2 hours the second the sun looks like it might think about appearing if I want to leave the house. DP jokes that I’d burn if I sat under a lightbulb in the house for too long. It’s boring, time consuming and not fair. But the alternatives are to stay indoors or burn. I have two states: ‘moonkissed’ (love it!) or ‘Lobster’ there’s just no middle ground.

I’m the same! It doesn’t bother me anywhere else but my legs! They’re like milk bottles!

Me too! I have just done and ancestry DNA thing which tells me I am 100% English, Celtic, northern European and Scandinavian which explains why in 50 years mynlegs have never once cUght the sun!

My paleness and inability to tan is a family joke. Fuck it I'm going to book some sun bed sessions for this years holiday.

Don't know an awful lot about how many I'd need?. Not after mahogany, just not milk bottle.

why not just wear tights? if you're so bothered

I really don't understand why anyone feels the need to colour their legs in. Like, seriously, break that down and think about it. It's mental.

Not a fan of wearing tights in a Greek August heat

OP I love that your legs resemble a ‘dead corpse’ as opposed to a living corpse

I’m in the same boat but can no longer be arsed with the ridiculous rigmarole of shaving, exfoliating, tanning etc. The alabaster look is the only option

OP mentioned jeans as an alternative, so obviously isn't bothered by heat concerns.

I spent two weeks of intense and deliberate sunbathing last year. I managed to go from blue to white. I feel your pain

I just use a light gradual tan moisturiser evey day after I shower. Easy stuff!

I use skinny tan mousse and apply with a mitt. It's amazing, goes on dead easy and streak free. I use the light one, I find that if I put moisturiser on my knees, elbows, ankles and wrists it stops the ORANGE!!!!! on them and it blends much more.

I second the Isle of Paradise drops - they are amazing! I use the dark ones and have a lovely, golden tan

In the 80's there were tights called "American tan", don't look for them, they were shit.

I have never been spray tanned professionally, but I'm sure they deal with corpse blue people all the time. Might be worth a visit?