To be fucked off at being so pale

[BrightonCalling]

Sick of it!

Going to a party with in laws tomorrow night and its either try and gradual tan my legs a bit or wear trousers. Its so fucking annoying.

And before anyone goes down the pale and elegant/pale and interesting route, we're talking a dead corpse blueish clammy shade of pale here, not a gorgeous opaque creamy pale.

Its so annoying. I dont even want to be a bronzed goddess just to have legs that look slightly coloured. You cant just slip on a dress you have to actually prep, do the exfoliating thing, then assess whether the rest of your body matches up, blah blah blah. Couldnt my mother have chosen someone swarthier to mate with?

Just needed to rant. If anyone would like to unleash their rage at their fish flesh coloured legs or another body part nemesis, feel free.

Off to gradual tan me legs now. Or ponder my collection of jeans.

/rant over

Have you tried any instant tans?

@MiddleagedManic
Great post, thank you!

And moonkissed is wonderful.

I use st Tropez 1 hour tan, and leave it on for 2 hours to get the best not orange fake but noticeable difference tan. It goes on dark but not too dark so a) you can see where it's going, and b) it dries super fast so you can go about your business until you wash it off. Post shower my skin looks warmer (if that's a thing) and the tan develops over 8 hours.

Tis fab, so much better than gradual tan where I used to get the orange ankles and wrists because they are moisturiser based and so turn the dry bits a different colour. Plus the gradual ones left me sticky and smelling like old biscuit.

@MatildaTheCat
About to go in shower. I jave clarins drops. Brisk and circular, noted. How do I tackle the ankles?

@Cantaana
Very tempted by this...

Loving moonkissed, very vampire. Alas I don't glitter.

My skin looks almost translucent in its normal state 👻

Another vote for Sally Hansen airbrush legs - I have blueish translucent legs and it's really good. Good staying power too

I'm milk bottle legs too.
I got an expensive Sally Hansen and a rip off Poundland one too and both are equally good.

My DH has my phone number labelled as 'toetags' on his phone as my feet are so white it looks like they're dead!

@Cantaana
Is this the express advanced mousse?

@Ggirl27
He sounds a laugh

Knees and ankles obviously do need some colour but go easy and ensure the product is well spread to avoid patchiness. I usually finish with these areas. I haven’t applied colour in the shower so good luck and do report back!

I'm similarly pale and used to feel the way you do. Now I just can't be bothered with the faff of fake tan and wear what I want regardless. I have some really lovely summer dresses that really don't look any worse with pale legs.

I too have been blessed with the complexion of a dead goth.

I've recently discovered St Tropez daily moisturising fake tan, which comes in a "light" shade. I put it on in the morning, let it dry, and by mid-afternoon I look like a semi-regular Caucasian rather than a dead goth. After two applications I look like I MIGHT have caught the sun briefly.

It really works for me as I don't want to look tanned necessarily, just not dead. Colour lasts for a while too, I put it in twice a week and feel like I'm a bronzed goddess!

I am also in the Moonkissed Club. One of my friends at university used to say she was calked "Ghost Legs" at school, & I thought that the description fitted me too. I also have very dark body hair. I am just pale, always will be - in summer I just about manage to get dark enough for the palest high street foundation shades. In winter I'm stuck with Lancome or Illamasqua because only they go pale enough.

Ahhh the partially defrosted turkey look. I feel you. Skin coloured tights usually do the trick till I shake off the winter see through skin

moonkissed brilliant!
Fuck it I’m pale and proud!

@BrightonCalling He is!

Wear tights?

Yes this one....

www.boots.com/st-tropez-self-tan-express-bronzing-mousse-200ml-10173333
And get a mitt

My legs are stick thin so that combined with the blueish shade just makes me look like a person whos been starved in a basement somewhere

Mine are thick and blue, so they actually look like calor gas bottles 😥

I'm so pale I'm a very fetching corpse shade of blue, especially on my legs. I don't care! That's the colour of my skin and I'm not faffing about trying to change it. I don't care if other people think it's unattractive tbh.

Another one here who resembles a freshly refrigerated corpse here I embrace it - I’ve tanned in my teens and realised I look ridiculous with a tan!
I’m loving the phrase “moon kissed” too! I’m stealing that one!!

OP
One of my dds was always giving out about the fact that I didn't procreate with as you say
'..someone swarthier....'
as she too is pale, freckled and blonde. For years we had Tanning Thursday and the smell permeated the house.
I give a wry smile now as her long term boyfriend is .... pale, freckled and blonde.

Yeah, it’s rubbish.
My ginger husband will often put his arm against mine, and just laugh. Our DC haven’t got the red gene- and I’ve heard him refer to us as ‘paler than gingers’

Strangely, my brother is really dark!

Anyway, I’m a fan of the Sally Hansen one or Rimmel sun shimmer. I also put bronzing powder on my feet because they actually look dead sometimes. I don’t want to be orange- just enough to take the blue tinge away. I also try and avoid black clothes. They make me look translucent.