I have nc for obvious reasons, but I badly need some advice about my parents.
A few years ago I had major major surgery, my dm came to look after my dc (7 and 10 at the time) all went well until the last day when she went home (with a big thank you, a huge bunch of flowers etc and all was well) but that night I had a severe complication in the hospital and it was life threatening. My dh pleaded with my dm to come back as I was so severely ill he needed them with the kids so he could focus on me but my parents said no my dm was too tired. It was a long drive of around 80 miles but we were in dire straits. We got through it with the help of our amazing friends.
This hurt me a great deal at the time that she did not come or call, but I was too ill to care or really know. A few weeks went by and I started to get better and realised that she had not called or rang me, not so much as a text to see how I was. I was too weak to care and a month passed, and then another month and then another. By this time I was feeling pretty much incredulous that she did not seem to care and had basically gone nc.
Eventually I got in touch with her, and we had words about what had happened and she said she had a nervous breakdown and that is why she didn't call (I have since found out that this is a lie) Since then we have really struggled to have the good relationship we had before. I feel so let down by her. Lied to, abandoned at such a crucial point in my life, and yes I suppose I thought she would always be there for me. The trust has basically gone.
Fast forward to this xmas ( a couple of years later) and although still on contact regularly with my parents but not seeing so much of them because it felt more strained than before. I broke my leg, no big deal I struggled by with the help of great friends, but then was told they had spotted a tumour and it may be cancer.
To this point my dm had been sending me the odd text from her holidays etc, but no offer of help and to be honest I have given up expecting her to care or to help. I did tell her in the end about the diagnosis, my dh said I must given how serious it could be. She went nc again and has been ever since. I have texted her to ask her why she is ignoring again (again at a moment of great anguish I have 2 kids and I am dealing with so much at the moment this is the very last thing I need) and she told me she was a coward (!!) and couldn't face it. But she could face booking a holiday to Spain for a few weeks without a thought.
I have just been given the all clear. We are so relieved (an understatement).But where do I go from now? I feel so let down, I just can't get over it. I have thought about my childhood, my love for her, and I miss her so much some days now that she is not in my life in any capacity. I can't go back to how I felt about her before, she has actually broken my heart if that is possible.
Do you think I am unreasonable to expect her support or for her to care about me? I am so confused, we were previously a close family (dad was violent to us but my mother has always been kind to me)