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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this isn't the teacher's business

88 replies

Gahhh · 10/05/2018 14:55

DD is in year 1. Yesterday my MiL went to pick her up from school and the teacher asked her if she could have a quick word. The teacher then went on to ask MiL why DD was taking her trainers home from school. MiL explained that DD had an activity that evening and needed her trainers. Teacher then went on to say that DD's trainers have to remain at school Hmm. MiL looked at her a bit gone out and said that DD always takes her trainers home for her activity and again over the weekend but that she brings them back into school the next day. While this is going on MiL said that DD was looking down at the floor obviously really embarrassed that the teacher had decided to bring this up at home time and in front of the other kids.

Am I wrong in thinking that DD's trainers really have nothing to do with the teacher? They are not on the uniform list (although we are advised of the two days of the week they do PE and need their trainers and I always make sure they are in her bag)

I'm also pissed off at the assumption that DD will have more than one pair of trainers at any one time. The rate her feet grow I'm changing them every 6 months so I'm not going to double up on a pair of trainers for at home and another pair to be kept in school.

OP posts:
witchofzog · 10/05/2018 14:58

The teacher is a loon. As long as she has the correct uniform and pe kit on the right days then what does it matter?

Shedmicehugh1 · 10/05/2018 14:58

Don’t they just have the cheap plimsolls type for PE?

Greggers2017 · 10/05/2018 15:02

Why wouldn't you just get a cheap pair of trainers to keep at school for PE saves a lot of faff and also embarrassment for your daughter? I got my son a pair for £8 from primark the other day.
The teacher probably gets fed up of children not having full kit and they will only have so many Spares so this will affect if they can do a full PE lesson or not.

silverysky · 10/05/2018 15:03

Stupid. I doubt the teacher wants to take the responsibility of properly checking for wear and tear and fit each your DD puts them on or whether they need cleaning or whether the name label is still readable. This is why they need to be taken home regularly.

Original poster
Gahhh · 10/05/2018 15:03

Shedmicehugh1 Plimsolls for indoor and trainers for outdoor.

I accept that they do need outdoor trainers but at the same time they are my bloody trainers and she also needs them for at home activities. To me it is akin to her being told she has to leave her coat at school

OP posts:
Eolian · 10/05/2018 15:05

YANBU. It's none of the teacher's business (I'm a teacher btw). I imagine she's fed up with kids forgetting their trainers, but if you always remember to send them back in the next day, she's got no reason to be tricky about it.

Original poster
Gahhh · 10/05/2018 15:06

Greggers2017 Why should I? I have already explained that her trainers go in her bag every day - I have never forgotten them. It's now May, if there was a problem with my child forgetting her kit I would expect to be informed about it much earlier in the school year (and as it has never happened there is nothing to inform me about!)

OP posts:
Shedmicehugh1 · 10/05/2018 15:06

I agree silly, she should be able to take them home.

ittakes2 · 10/05/2018 15:06

It was standard at our nursery to leave wellies. It’s been standard at both schools my children have been to to leave trainers. Although teachers have standard pe days - these sometimes get changed last minute to other days to fit in with that week’s lesson planning.
I know it’s infuriating - I have twins who need supportive trainers due to hypermobility - but I’m guessing if the other parents in the class/school have done this you might have accidentally missed something.

ittakes2 · 10/05/2018 15:07

Sorry I cross posted - I see you put them in everyday anyway.

DragonMummy1418 · 10/05/2018 15:08

Teacher is in the wrong.

InsomniacAnonymous · 10/05/2018 15:08

"MiL looked at her a bit gone out"

Confused What?

Original poster
Gahhh · 10/05/2018 15:09

InsomniacAnonymous In that she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Why?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 10/05/2018 15:10

Yanbu.
The only way the teacher could have a point here is if you weren't taking them back for pe lessons. So I wonder if there's another child in the class who doesn't. Hence the 'one rule for all' rule. Not fair though.

Shedmicehugh1 · 10/05/2018 15:13

Maybe it’s other kids who keep forgetting theirs? So it’s been made a school ‘rule’?

dayinlifeof · 10/05/2018 15:13

As far as I know secondary schools don't insist on trainers being kept in schools as teenagers are more likely to forget them than a responsible parent so the teacher is being a bit ridiculous.

OreoMini · 10/05/2018 15:14

Teacher is wrong. There your trainers

Shedmicehugh1 · 10/05/2018 15:17

Maybe the whole class, except your dd, forget their trainers regularly!

My ds used to hide his PE kit and say he had left it at home, to get out of PE!

InsomniacAnonymous · 10/05/2018 15:18

Gahhh I could understand "looked at her a bit surprised/puzzled" but "gone out" makes no sense to me. Is it dialect? To me "gone out" is just the opposite of "stayed in", so I don't know how you would look at someone a bit gone out. Sorry.

ginnybag · 10/05/2018 15:18

Starting to wonder if we have the same school, OP!

We've got a sudden 'thing' about PE kit going on, when there's been no issue for the last 4 years, and in part it's over trainers as well.

Despite it not being on the uniform list, we suddenly 'have' to have trainers and pumps (pumps have been fine for the last 4 years and all this year) in school at all times. Like yours, DD only has one pair of trainers and, in her case, they're specialist dance ones. She doesn't like trainers for casual wear, and won't wear them, so doesn't have any others already.

No way on Earth am I sending her dance ones in for her to wear on a field or lose! And they definitely couldn't stay in school all the time as she needs them for her classes.

I'll buy her some for September, but not before. The uniform list says one or the other, it's been fine till now - why is it suddenly a drama!!

Original poster
Gahhh · 10/05/2018 15:24

InsomniacAnonymous Sorry i thought it was common slang. It just means incredulous.

OP posts:
Annwithnoe · 10/05/2018 15:25

For me, correctly fitted and supportive shoes for activities when feet are working the hardest is a priority. Two of mine have unusual width/height issues so it’s expensive. We look after the shoes and change them as they grow out of them. I wouldn’t be impressed at the suggestion that I buy a second pair for no good reason.
Even if it wasn’t about the expense, I’m raising the dc to be mindful of their belongings and resist throw-away mindsets.
YANBU

Likejellytots88 · 10/05/2018 15:28

YANBU its none of her business, she obviously knows already that you DD takes them home sometimes so why only say something now? Sounds like she just wanted a moan tbh maybe a few other kids forget there's she's taking it out on your DD as she noticed her putting them in her bag.
At my DS nursery we leave wellies there but if I ever need them back for the weekend (very rarely/if its snowing) they never stop me and I always make sure I bring them back in - as like you I am not buying two pairs of the same thing when DS feet are constantly growing and we don't have a daily need for wellies in my house so not point getting another pair. Keep doing what your doing, and tell the teacher to leave it be - the day you forget to bring them back in is the day she can have a go.

Shedmicehugh1 · 10/05/2018 15:39

Have a word yourself with the teacher, explain what you have said here?

I’m betting a letter will go out soon making it a ‘school rule’! Get in quick!

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