Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To think this isn't the teacher's business

88 replies

Gahhh · 10/05/2018 14:55

DD is in year 1. Yesterday my MiL went to pick her up from school and the teacher asked her if she could have a quick word. The teacher then went on to ask MiL why DD was taking her trainers home from school. MiL explained that DD had an activity that evening and needed her trainers. Teacher then went on to say that DD's trainers have to remain at school . MiL looked at her a bit gone out and said that DD always takes her trainers home for her activity and again over the weekend but that she brings them back into school the next day. While this is going on MiL said that DD was looking down at the floor obviously really embarrassed that the teacher had decided to bring this up at home time and in front of the other kids.

Am I wrong in thinking that DD's trainers really have nothing to do with the teacher? They are not on the uniform list (although we are advised of the two days of the week they do PE and need their trainers and I always make sure they are in her bag)

I'm also pissed off at the assumption that DD will have more than one pair of trainers at any one time. The rate her feet grow I'm changing them every 6 months so I'm not going to double up on a pair of trainers for at home and another pair to be kept in school.

OP posts:

8misskitty8 · 10/05/2018 18:42

It’s none of the teachers business why you take the trainers home. You might only be able to afford one pair. If you were to leave them in school all week they’d probably go missing.
In my daughters school things go missing and rarely returned. She took her coat off in the dining hall 2 years ago and it was gone 10 mins later. Still waiting on that turning up and it was all labelled so don’t understand how a parent 1. Didn’t recognise that their child had brought home the wrong coat or 2. Upon seeing a name plastered all over it that wasn’t their child’s name decided to keep it.

Same school has a rule that black school shoes are to be worn. (Dd has very narrow feet and only start rite fit at £60 a pop for her to walk the 2 mins to school)
They are to bring in black gym shoes which they change into as soon as they get to the cloakroom and remain in them all day except break/lunch. It’s to save the floors getting messy. Floors which are all Lino/cushion floor, no carpets. Now that is ludicrous.

soapboxqueen · 10/05/2018 19:12

Gahhh it's not about inconvenience for staff. It's about children not having the correct equipment and lessons being affected.

I think you are correct that as long as you are bringing them back, it shouldn't be an issue. However, you must be able to understand that many people would forget.

Original poster

Gahhh · 10/05/2018 19:22

I do get where you are coming from Soapbox but I am annoyed that my DD seems to have been singled out over this when she hasn’t done anything wrong and has her trainers in her bag every morning in case she needs them at school. My expectation is that she brings them home again in the evening - I don’t Think that is unreasonable. The reason I feel that she has been singled out is that the class teacher has an effective communication system with parents but has not used it to inform the class about changes involving keeping trainers at school all the time. Instead she has made, what looks to me, like an example out of my DD for no good reason.

OP posts:

Lougle · 10/05/2018 19:53

DD3's school suggests that PE kit is sent in at the beginning of half term and left there for the duration. I doubt it's a 'rule' though. For instance, she has rounders after school today, so I tell her to just come home in her PE kit, with her school uniform in her PE bag, because tomorrow morning before school she has cross-country. That way, tomorrow, she can wear her PE kit to school, then change into her school uniform after cross-country. Makes perfect sense.

Poloshot · 10/05/2018 20:08

In the nicest possible way tell her to fuck off and stop poking her nose

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 10/05/2018 20:10

But this is schools in a nutshell isn't it?

A lot of children don't have the right equipment and lessons get disrupted. So they will target a family who aren't doing anything wrong but 'might'. Thus impacting nothing and changing the problem not at all.

We see it with blanket head lice, lateness and parking letters. They say they can't target the wrongdoers directly...but evidently they can...just not the wrongdoers.

Smile say "ok" then ignore. Pointless arguing.

LynetteScavo · 10/05/2018 21:40

@Coloursthatweremyjoy - exactly.

There are probably a group of children who take kit home for whatever reason and it doesn't return for the next couple of weeks.

There may have been other children who wanted to take their trainers him when they saw your DD taking hers.

Anyway, no big deal, just keep doing what your doing.

smallchanceofrain · 10/05/2018 21:55

It's a ridiculous "rule" and you do right to challenge it. As long as your child has the correct equipment the teacher has no reason to complain.
Mine are now in secondary so I no longer have worries like this. At secondary level the school communicates nothing to parents - ever, so you can just do what you like.
At primary the rule was that trainers and plimsolls had to be kept in school. I made sure that trainers came home for the weekend. If I hadn't then every few months I would have been sending outgrown trainers, that had only been worn for a few hours, to the charity shop. I couldn't afford to do that.
It didn't take me long to work out that the plimsolls were never worn. Not once. Had I not been wise to this I would have been buying two or three pairs a year. Both boys made one pair last their entire school career! By year 6 each poor lad would have been like an ugly sister trying to make his foot fit!

WowLookAtYou · 10/05/2018 22:08

Well, I expect that the teacher is fed up to the back teeth of a number of kids leaving their trainers at home and therefore unable to take part in the PE lesson, so it may be a blanket rule. If, however, you have never forgotten to re-pack them in your dd's bag, I don't see the issue.

However: YABU to say, I am annoyed that my DD seems to have been singled out over this and she has made, what looks to me, like an example out of my DD for no good reason. when you have no idea who else the teacher may have spoken to about it. She's just asking if the trainers could remain in school. End of. You don't want that, so fair enough, but no "example" being made that I can see.

Original poster

Gahhh · 10/05/2018 22:43

WowLookAtYou the teacher walking my DD out of the class room to talk to my MiL (not me even though I am there every Monday and Friday) in front of the other children and parents smacks of singling her out! I have already said the teacher has instant electronic communication to all parents and this is frequently used for reminders etc. If she intended to speak to all parents then she would have used that.

OP posts:

soapboxqueen · 10/05/2018 23:01

I think that is what you need to challenge. Why has a communication not gone out to the whole class? Why was your dd singled out? If there had never been a problem before with your dd having kit, why is it even an issue at all?

SunshineAfterRain · 10/05/2018 23:18

This is ridiculous.
Even if you were continually forgetting your daughters trainniers, the school still have no right to demand you keep the shoes in the school.
Is your dd maybe taking "too long" to get them out if her bag in the mornings and it's irritating the teacher and that has prompted her to act.

Allthewaves · 10/05/2018 23:39

Our school have a rule that pe kits must stay in school. Never queried it tbh but it's there in the school rules

Flip

1 2 3 4