To think this isn't the teacher's business

[Gahhh]

DD is in year 1. Yesterday my MiL went to pick her up from school and the teacher asked her if she could have a quick word. The teacher then went on to ask MiL why DD was taking her trainers home from school. MiL explained that DD had an activity that evening and needed her trainers. Teacher then went on to say that DD's trainers have to remain at school . MiL looked at her a bit gone out and said that DD always takes her trainers home for her activity and again over the weekend but that she brings them back into school the next day. While this is going on MiL said that DD was looking down at the floor obviously really embarrassed that the teacher had decided to bring this up at home time and in front of the other kids.

Am I wrong in thinking that DD's trainers really have nothing to do with the teacher? They are not on the uniform list (although we are advised of the two days of the week they do PE and need their trainers and I always make sure they are in her bag)

I'm also pissed off at the assumption that DD will have more than one pair of trainers at any one time. The rate her feet grow I'm changing them every 6 months so I'm not going to double up on a pair of trainers for at home and another pair to be kept in school.

I was internally questioning whether I should do this Shedmicehugh1. I'm picking DD up tomorrow and thought I'd have a word with the teacher then but I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. From these replies it seems that I am, at least, partially right.

Does Dd often not take her trainers for PE? Why do they have to stay at school?

How can school have the right to insist on any item of your/your child's property staying in school all the time?
They may have problems with pupils forgetting stuff but they can't dictate where your own property is kept.

It doesn’t make much sense does it!?

I thought it was usual for kids forgetting PE kit to have to sit out, not insist on trainers being left there!

@shedmicehugh1

I don't think it makes sense either. In my class (year 2) if they don't bring their PE kit they don't do PE. I cannot imagine insisting children keep their property at school.

The school should have a rule that PE kit, trainers and wellies should stay at school. It would save so much faffing around when parents forget the PE kit, thought the wellies were not needed on Mondays, didn't realise the trainers would be used on Tuesdays...

The teacher has likely had to deal with too many forgotten items. In a class of 30, he probably doesn't keep a record of who was missing what, and just had a quick word because he saw the trainers.

I wouldn't get offended, just have a quick word with the teacher tomorrow to reassure you bring back everything everyday. I take muddy kit or muddy trainers back home sometimes other than Fridays, clean and dry them and have them brought back the following morning. not a big deal.

And if property 'disappears' the school will take responsibility for that and reimburse you, right? As it was their idea to leave it behind?
Yeah, right.

The school can make as many rules as they like, but the fact is the trainers are your property and you have every right to take them home. The school could only have a legitimate complaint if you didn't send them into school for PE. The teacher is barking if she thinks you should buy 2 pairs and leave one in school, when children's feet grow so quickly.

If you weren't there how do you know your mil looked "gone out"?

I think all primary schools think parents shit gold bars with everything they are expected to keep in school.
Trainers
Pe kit
Jacket
Wellies
Hat
Water proof clothes.

They grow far to quick for me to afford a set to keep in school. Our school have made a big deal about having trainers not pumps for outdoor pe. I could deal with couple ££ year to leave them in school but trainers not a chance.

If you weren't there how do you know your mil looked "gone out"? Because those were the words my MiL used on the phone to me last night when she was telling me but thank you for your very helpful input.

Witchend, maybe because that's how her mother described it to her?

FFS, what on earth is all the nitpicking about this in aid of?

Sadly not all parents bring back the full PE kit/ trainers/ wellies and so on every single day and the teachers have to find spares somehow to lend the kids, or the parents get in a massive strop because the kids walked in the mud with school shoes.

School shoes are a lot more expensive than wellies or trainers, it's quite helpful if the school is trying to save them. Some kids only have 1 pair of school shoes!

YADNBU. This used to drive me batty. School required a pair of trainers which had to stay in school AND the after school club required a separate pair that also had to stay there. I had to have three pairs of trainers on the go at all times. Drove me batty!

Dd now needs expensive trainers at school to be able to do sport properly. They go on the field all weathers so I bought some with extra grip under foot so the Sainsbury’s ones were useless. If she needed them for an activity at home then she would bring them and return them. Tbh they are mostly needed during holidays and they’re usually caked in mud so need washing first. I definitely don’t think the teacher should be able to decide whether or not to take my child’s trainers home.

I’d never heard of “gone out” before. I assumed it meant shocked/taken aback. I can’t believe you’re getting flak for that!

Blimey! If any of dd's class had left trainers in school overnight they'd have been nicked, never to be seen again, by morning!

Why is there always someone sneering at a phrase or dialect an OP uses? We don’t all speak RP perfect English you know!

OP I think the teacher was unfair for two reasons.

1. whether your DD takes or leaves her trainers are no business of the school as long as she has the right kit when needed.

2. and bringing it up and making it an issue in front of other people was embarrassing and unnecessary.

Did the school purchase the trainers? If no. They have no right to say where they must be.

skipping over the whole trainers thing (teacher wrong though, IMO) "looking at someone gone out" is a common expression in various places in England - see below. I like it

Might be mostly Midlands. I knew it, despite growing up near London, but my mother was from Staffs. Leics/Derby/Sheffield look like the main places.

"looking at me gone out"

Could your MIL go this a bit wrong? I'd have a chat with the teacher myself and ask her (nicely) what the issue is.

DD2's wellies have been lost in school over the Easter holidays. I'm fucked if I'm buying another pair now for the rest of the school year for her to leave in-school like they're meant to have (they've definitely been lost in school) so we're going to be running wellies home and school until the end of the year now.

School can whistle to be honest if they're upset by that (or flipping well find where the lost wellies that were in the class wellie cupboard have vanished to).

You can buy a pair of decent wellies for £3.. if you want to lug a pair to school twice a day it's up to you, but it sounds a lot more effort than it's worth!

On a totally different note, I don't understand why people buy shoes "for the school year". If the kids have a growth spurt in the summer and need new shoes, by all means you buy them, but otherwise, don't you just buy them as they are needed? The UK summer holiday is only 6 weeks long.

YANBU. We take ours home every week. I'm not buying two pairs of trainers either, it's annoying enough I had to buy 2 pairs of wellies for them never to be used.

You can buy a pair of decent wellies for £3

From where? They're not even that cheap in Primark.