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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this isn't the teacher's business

88 replies

Gahhh · 10/05/2018 14:55

DD is in year 1. Yesterday my MiL went to pick her up from school and the teacher asked her if she could have a quick word. The teacher then went on to ask MiL why DD was taking her trainers home from school. MiL explained that DD had an activity that evening and needed her trainers. Teacher then went on to say that DD's trainers have to remain at school . MiL looked at her a bit gone out and said that DD always takes her trainers home for her activity and again over the weekend but that she brings them back into school the next day. While this is going on MiL said that DD was looking down at the floor obviously really embarrassed that the teacher had decided to bring this up at home time and in front of the other kids.

Am I wrong in thinking that DD's trainers really have nothing to do with the teacher? They are not on the uniform list (although we are advised of the two days of the week they do PE and need their trainers and I always make sure they are in her bag)

I'm also pissed off at the assumption that DD will have more than one pair of trainers at any one time. The rate her feet grow I'm changing them every 6 months so I'm not going to double up on a pair of trainers for at home and another pair to be kept in school.

OP posts:

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 10/05/2018 16:39

MiL looked at her a bit gone out

Gawd it's years since I've heard that one. I had Midlands cousins and they were always looking at each other a bit gone out.

WhiskeyStone · 10/05/2018 16:40

It's nothing to do with the teacher and she should have brought it up with you not your MIL. I'd have a word next time I saw her and ask her to address any issues with me. Teacher sounds a loon.

BevBrook · 10/05/2018 16:40

I can understand the teacher's point of view. Yes there are "named" PE days but quite often they do extra PE on a different day, or have PE moved for some reason, or have a special activity that requires trainers. We have always had to leave trainers at school as part of a full PE kit, both mine have school trainers and home trainers.

Now what used to get me was the need for plimsolls. In infant school they had to have plimsolls for inside AND trainers for outside (now it is just trainers, I assume they are barefoot indoors). But the only thing they ever wore their plimsolls for was to walk from the classroom to the hall (about 10 metres) where they solemnly took them off again and proceeded to do gym barefoot. We had to buy a new pair everytime their feet grew (of course) and the old pair always looked as good as new.

soapboxqueen · 10/05/2018 16:41

It'll be because others won't have been bringing theirs back in and lessons will be disrupted.

If it hasn't been an issue for you all year, it'll be because it has become an issue in class. This time of year plenty won't want to buy another set of trainers and will be bringing them back and forth to school and then forgetting about it.

However, she can't stop you retrieving you're own property. Just continue what you were doing.

Aragog · 10/05/2018 16:42

'Looked a bit gone out'

Commonly used phrase in Doncaster and Sheffield.
Meaning 'a bit shocked, taken aback, surprised, bewildered, etc'

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 10/05/2018 16:51

Just keep going as you were OP.

Schools have a lot of these little rules ime. My youngest 'needs' a PE jumper...he has never worn it, ever, it's brand new. He prefers just his T shirt. I think its probably too small now...im not buying another one.

My eldest 'needs' a reversible rugby shirt. He didn't wear it at all in year 7 I haven't bought another one since and he's about to finish year 9. He also 'must have' football boots and rugby boots...I've never bought any...his set have never done football or rugby. Great saving there.

Aworldofmyown · 10/05/2018 16:57

Our school also asks for a separate pair of trainers to wear on the field when its muddy!!!

I went in and explained there was no way I was purchasing 3 pairs of shoes to sit in a PE bag!!!

silverysky · 10/05/2018 17:08

It makes no sense for trainers to stay at school. They need to be regularly checked for wear and tear, fit, labelling and cleaned from time to time!

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 10/05/2018 17:08

You can buy a pair of decent wellies for £3
From where? They're not even that cheap in Primark.

the sales in my local garden centers, at least that's where I got the last batch I bought. I found some for £5 in the sales in local sport shop too.
I am sure I have seen some at bottom price in Aldi too.

Things like wellies, plimsolls.. are so worth buying when you find them cheap, they always get used.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 10/05/2018 17:10

Unless exceptionally muddy day, most parents get PE back picked up every Friday and the school give everything back on the last days before a break.
We leave everything in the school during the week, it's so much easier.

parrotonmyshoulder · 10/05/2018 17:15

It makes no sense for thousands of schoolchildren having extra pairs of trainers and wellies! Some people talk as though everyone is made of money...and as though the world is made of entirely renewable resources.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 10/05/2018 17:20

You can't even trust parents to think about the kids water bottle every day, even on the hottest day of the year. Can't you see why its easier for everybody to keep the right kit at school so it's there when needed?

silverysky · 10/05/2018 17:20

Unless exceptionally muddy day, most parents get PE back picked up every Friday and the school give everything back on the last days before a break.

So what's the difference? People could just as easily forget to bring the kit back Monday as any other day.

Added to this shoes could break, labels wear off or get dirty any other day. If we are talking small children they will not always notice until it is too late.

silverysky · 10/05/2018 17:21

Irrelevant. It is not a teacher's role to police parents. Kit is parents property.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 10/05/2018 17:24

It is not a teacher's role to police parents. Kit is parents property.

well, as long as the parents don't complain when little Timmy comes back with school shoes caked in mud because they forgot his kit!

Notevilstepmother · 10/05/2018 17:27

I think as you never forget to put them in, the teacher should not be such a control freak.

I could understand if your child didn’t have them regularly.

Barbie222 · 10/05/2018 17:28

What? That's bonkers.

Another thing that really irritates me as a parent is when children aren't changed back after pe and are sent home in their kit. Not reasonable to expect washed and ironed kit back the next day!!

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/05/2018 17:32

Erm I don't think so.

I hate having to "double up" on 2 kids worth of trainers. 4 pairs that barely get used and are grown out of before they get the usage..

Madness to do that if you can avoid it. As a pp said they'd not replace if they got nicked.

If your dd has not got form for forgetting her pe trainers then I don't understand the problem..unless of course your dds are ones that get "lent out" when others forget and the teacher is panicking about being down a spare pair?

silverysky · 10/05/2018 17:42

well, as long as the parents don't complain when little Timmy comes back with school shoes caked in mud because they forgot his kit!

Irrelevant. That is not the complaint here.

Billben · 10/05/2018 17:53

I don’t see why OP should have to buy an extra pair of trainers every six months, however cheap. The teacher is unreasonable and I would be having a word with her.

manicinsomniac · 10/05/2018 17:53

We have to have indoor/astro trainers, outdoor trainers and wellies in school permanently. But we have games lessons every day and don't have much of a hard area to play on (all fields, woods and astros) so they are all genuinely needed every day.

In theory, I suppose people could take what they needed home every night and bring it back. But I think they'd have to have a good reason (financial or otherwise) to want that kind of hassle.

I guess YANBU. If that's what you want to do you should be able to. But I can see the teacher's point.

Original poster

Gahhh · 10/05/2018 18:14

But I also need the trainers at home for her other activities and the weekend! Why does inconvenience for the school trump inconvenience for me? And I've also said I've never forgotten to put them in her bag again - ditto water bottles.

OP posts:

RainbowFairiesHaveNoPlot · 10/05/2018 18:14

Cheapest wellies I've found were £5... out of stock now the weather's changed. I'm not buying a second school pair to replace some THEY lost over the holidays when they were shifting stuff around in the classroom when the kids feet are likely to outgrow them by September and they've got a grand total of about 6 of their welly mornings left in the school year (and on a 3 week rotating cycle so they're only likely to need them for about 3 of those sessions maximum as the other ones are things like planting stuff in the playground so they don't put wellies on for those).

If the school makes any bother about it - since they lost them, when they were labelled to within an inch of their life, they can get stuffed on that one to be honest. Between two kids who unobligingly have the same size feet and both having school and home wellies I've bought four pairs in that bloody size - I'm not buying a fifth cos school lost 'em (they moved their welly storage and that's when they've gone walkabout - if it was just DD2 losing stuff then I'm always having to replace that, or if it was further back in the school year I'd replace them but bollocks to it when it's already May).

To be honest by this point in term onwards if kids are running one pair of trainers between home and school as other ones have been outgrown and people don't want to be replacing "school" ones until the new school year I think it's the sort of thing schools need to be understanding about.

LML83 · 10/05/2018 18:21

yanbu

The school/teachrer should be mindful that trainers are expensive and many families won't want/be able to leave a pair permanently. That's ridiculous. It a real pressure for some families.

You could buy a cheap pair, other kids might forget theirs but that is irrelevant. Your child has trainers at school when she needs them and at home when she needs them.

bunbunny · 10/05/2018 18:25

I would talk to the teacher but also follow it up with an email to the head to get it on record that dd needs to take her trainers home from school for activities and that she will always return them the next morning. If they are at all snippy about it I would add in that at the rate dd's feet grow, she doesn't wear out a single pair of trainers before she grows out of them so you certainly don't have the spare funds to purchase two pairs of trainers that will barely get any use every 6 months. If school wants to buy her a pair to keep in school that's fine, but if not, you will do your part by ensuring that your dd has the required kit in school during school hours.

Just out of interest - how many hours a week of PE does your dd have a week at school? Isn't it something like two hours a week that schools have to do as a minimum? If this is the case, as there are 39 weeks in a school year, that's approximately 80 hours of PE (I'll give them an extra couple of hours for sports day too!) a year - which could mean that on average those pairs of trainers could be only getting 40 hours of use before being too small which is a shockingly low figure - similar to buying a new pair of trainers to wear to school during the day every week, which would be crazy.

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