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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

young buck getting too big for his boots? AIBU to take it personally?

174 replies

wildbhoysmama · 09/05/2018 20:39

A bit of background: I have been in my position for 23 years, I have stayed in the school because I love it and love the kids. I know I am a damn, good teacher and am highly respected. I'm involved in the wider school in many ways, have led many curriculum changes etc , have excellent results across the school and am first in everyone's mind for this promotion, head of department. I was approached 10 years ago to go for the same job but felt that my children were too young ( 4 and 18 months at the time). Since, my colleague has done the job excellently, but is now retiring so.the job is available again.
So far, so straightforward. I am completely prepared that someone may do a better interview and, if so, I would still be happy to stay in my position and support the new head. BUT a huge shock came my way today when aforementioned young buck has told me he is also applying for the job. He, of course, has every right to, but it has blindsided me. Let me explain: He is 26 and has only been teaching almost 2 years; he was a probationer 2 years ago and I was his mentor ( basically teaching him everything I know, giving him huge amounts of time and help, solving his discipline issues, and really going the extra mile for him); he is a decent class room teacher but no more, he still has development issues; he has never taught Higher ( A level) or National 5 (GCSE ) except for once a week with my classes to give him experience; he has not marked the exams ( you can't until you've taught for 4 years); has little grasp of quality assurance etc; what he has done is go on every group going and made himself very visible ( Rights respecting school, growth mindset, Pedagogy).
. I really like him as a person - in a much younger brother kind of way- but cannot believe he would treat me with such a lack of respect. Am I taking it too personally? It feels like he thinks he could do the job better than me, the person who still helps him out constantly. It feels as like he is stepping on me to get where he wants to be with no regard for me or the department. I was shocked, then hurt and now I'm angry. I would never say anything, I'm a professional, and others have expressed disbelief so AIBU to feel.the way I do?

OP posts:
Buttmonkey86 · 09/05/2018 21:09

'but his ambition seems very Macbeth: 2 years teaching and that confident.'

That's a very strange turn of phrase for someone you like.

It's beyond arrogant to think this would have anything to do with you and if you were any kind of decent mentor, you'd take pride in his abilities and confidence in himself. Not see it as some sort of weird personal affront

pictish · 09/05/2018 21:09

For such a respected professional, who by your own account is the very pinnacle of teaching prowess, your grammar isn’t up to much.

In other news, he has every right to try for that job. What you think about it is of no consequence. It’s not a personal slight. Yabu.

headinhands · 09/05/2018 21:09

SLT/smt isn't comprised of people who've just done xyz amount of years. It seems to be people who relish the responsibility of big beans.

DumbledoresApprentice · 09/05/2018 21:09

I think you’re taking this far too personally. I was appointed as a HOD during my second year of teaching. It’s not that unusual I don’t think.
A lot of people who are looking to move into management will start to look for their first TLR posts at the end of their second year in my experience and by the end of their fourth year will move on if there aren’t opportunities for promotion in school. He’s seen a post he’s interested in and gone for it. I don’t think he’s done anything wrong there.
You just have to trust that the HT has the good sense to select the most suitable candidate for the job. I’m sure your experience and track record in terms of results will carry a lot of weight.

Hushnownobodycares · 09/05/2018 21:10

Are you named Buggins, OP?

Pengggwn · 09/05/2018 21:11

If you are the better candidate you will get the job. Why shouldn't he go for it?

titchy · 09/05/2018 21:11

Isn't there more to being a head of dept than good teaching though? You seem to think that's all that's needed...

pictish · 09/05/2018 21:11

You’ve called yourself “a damn, good teacher” twice now. There’s No need for a comma between damn and good.

I know I’m being bloody pedantic but your arrogance is misplaced when your basic grammar is so flawed.

Petitepamplemousse · 09/05/2018 21:12

It’s really odd that you are taking it personally.

Buxbaum · 09/05/2018 21:13

I can't quite believe that you've been in one school for twenty-three years and are only now going for a head of department role. I hope the role isn't being advertised externally because unless SLT want the department run exactly as it has always been, your length of service will frankly look like institutionalisation.

If you had widened your horizons beyond this one school you would know that the days of biding your time and waiting for promotions went out fifteen years ago. I became a head of department in my third year of teaching and I did a damned good job. Does that make me Lady Macbeth?

Petitepamplemousse · 09/05/2018 21:14

Also, he’s probably going for it so his school offers him something else instead/to show he’s ambitious. I did this. Applied for Assistsnt Head and was instead offered a lower promotion. I never thought I’d get AH but wanted to show where my goals lie and get some feedback.

Orangewater33 · 09/05/2018 21:15

He won't get the position.
However, if you start to ruminate and dwell on this you possibly won't either.
It's basically yours, I would question the underlying fears you have...are you starting to doubt yourself? You feel you're older...you feel you should have given more of an impression like he did/has.
Those are things that all minds do in all aspects if life.
Don't allow this to diminish your energy and focus.
Depersonalise.

HopeClearwater · 09/05/2018 21:15

Despite your spurious comma, OP, I think I know where you are coming from. He ought to realise that he hasn’t the skills or experience to apply for this post and shouldn’t be going up against you here. However, his lack of humility probably won’t be seen as a drawback (as it should be) and if I know education, he’ll get the job... That’s schools these days Angry

Petitepamplemousse · 09/05/2018 21:16

Also- why on Earth didn’t the old HoD give him more A Level experience? That’s pretty shoddy.

Original poster
wildbhoysmama · 09/05/2018 21:16

I do not think I'm a shoe- in at all. I am not lacking in self confidence, Mannix, I love the school and wouldn't want to work anywhere else, hence why I haven't applied elsewhere, additionally my youngest child has had lots of health issues and I went part time for many years. I shouldn't need to justify that, I've been very happy actually.

Thank you all for the advice, I will not take it personally and move on.

CalF123: I do not need to get a grip, I have genuinely asked for advice and have got some. Try not to be so dismissive when people need help.

OP posts:
pictish · 09/05/2018 21:16

There is nothing wrong with gaining experience of interviewing for a HoD post by applying for one. It won’t do him any harm and can only benefit him in terms of experience.

Juells · 09/05/2018 21:17

Well, now you know. Stop being so helpful.

AJPTaylor · 09/05/2018 21:17

He may well think he has no chance but is applying to show his ambition and get some experience of the process.
You know, like a career plan.

HopeClearwater · 09/05/2018 21:17

I became a head of department in my third year of teaching and I did a damned good job

Is experience not valued any more?
The comments about institutionalisation verge on the offensive. It takes more than three years to become really good at most things.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 09/05/2018 21:17

Why on earth would this be personal? Confused he has seen an opportunity and has gone for it. He may not stand a cat in hells chance of getting it, your employers may be sniggering up their sleeves at him even applying but that does mean he is doing it to be a knob to you! How on earth have you decided it is anything to do with you at all? It’s very self absorbed of you.

theeyeofthestormchaser · 09/05/2018 21:19

He may be over-reaching. He may not have the experience for a HOD role. But he won’t be thinking about you or your reaction! And it’s a bit odd and self-centred to think that.

Just prep for your own interview and concentrate on yourself.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 09/05/2018 21:19

doesnt

implantsandaDyson · 09/05/2018 21:19

I hope you don't foster that kind of strange know your place attitude among your students in your classroom. I really don't understand why you taking this so personally, it's not his fault you decided not to look for promotion previously. Good for him for not sitting back, if he doesn't get it, I'm sure he'll be moving on in the future.

lifechangesforever · 09/05/2018 21:19

YABVU.

Regardless of age or experience, he has every right to go for the job that you do and if I had been in a job for 2 years at that age, I would also see it as the next logical step in my career.

Let the recruitment panel do their job and concentrate on your application and interview.

Good luck.

FrancisUnderwood · 09/05/2018 21:19

YABU to refer to ANYONE as a 'young buck'.