Child maintenance and swimming kit saga returns!

[itsveryquiet]

Link to previous thread

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He's driving me insane.

Swimming is now on the day of contact. So swimming kit goes home to dads and never gets returned. Apparently I've stolen too much from him and I owe him, so I am not allowed it back.

I've had to provide a new swimming kit every single week since Easter!!

I’m a senior leader in a school and there’s no way I would let this happen at my school.

Who have you spoken to at the school?

The head. This school is appalling. Hence everyone leaving. Everyone I know has had blazing rows with the head over petty things.

My own personal example being, I apologised in advance that DD would not be at an evening church service as she had Guides that night and I had given her the choice. Head told me my attitude was disgusting and she was appalled at my lack of support for the school.

That’s ridiculous.

Can you enlist the support of another parent to get their child to take the kit home "by accident" for a few weeks. Kids often pick up extra stuff....

What an arsehole.

I'm struggling to find new mum friends as much as DS is struggling to make new friends. Everyone he likes is leaving/left!

It's really unfair.

But if you can afford it I would just collect up enough of what you need to see you through till the end of term and get on with it. It's the easiest way for you I think, and definitely easiest on ds.

And you can take some satisfaction in knowing he's sitting round there on a giant stack of towels waiting in vain for someone to notice him.

Well, that’s massively petty of him!

Fwiw, if you were anyone in my DC’s class, I’d happily do you a favour. But, for the sake of this term, just buy the very cheap trunks in bulk, get a load of towels you don’t care about (ask on Facebook or Freegle or just buy the cheapest you can find) and send kit in a carrier bag each week. Show your son you’ve got it covered even if Dad never sends it back - tell him it doesn’t matter, it’s OK.

Your school are crap!

Ask his teacher if you can donate a spare kit for the school cupboard - which your son will need to use each week and you'll collect and wash obviously!!!!

There are ways and means .....

😅😅😅 fell him to fudge off and he can use the kit he has or tell ds why he can’t go swimming let’s see if he’s father of the year then

Can you meet DS at the end of the school day, give him a kiss and a cuddle and take his swim stuff home?

He's got the school to change pick up arrangements so he gets snuck out of a secret door because DS ran off home when he wanted to stop contact.

Nosquirrels. I'm sure there are lots that would. But we have just been thrown into this situation where all our circle have vanished within weeks.

So wait, the school will humour and support him but when it comes to you it's "oh we can't get involved"

Fucking arseholes

Sorry no helpful advice, but can you buy 6 matching trunks and 6 matching towels, so that your stupid ex starts to feel he is losing his mind as he sees the same clothes he stole coming home every week? A bit like The Twits.

Soubriquet. I know

Pasty. 😂😂😂

Is your dd still at that school?
Unless you have a court order that says otherwise and assuming you are in England
On a different note, you only need one PR holder to remove a child from school, the school may try and insist otherwise but it is not a requirement to have both parents consent. The relevant education act makes it an offence to not remove the child from the register on request.
If he has an issue it’s down to him to take you to court and the court will not much care about anything other than the child’s best interests, granted you should discuss but the courts do understand that often it’s not possible. Just make sure your reason is sound and genuinely in the child’s interests that way it will be down to the court if he intends to seek their support to decide whose case is better.

Now he could play silly games and keep re registering him and there is not much you can do about that other than have the child registered at and attending a different school ASAP.

Make sure there are some prawns in the bottom of every swimming bag that leaves your house...

He's awful for doing this. You know that, your ds knows it and a decent school would support you in dealing with domestic abuse of this nature. Sadly going back to court is likely to be expensive and not worth it compared to the cost of cheap trunks and towels. Decathlon have kids trunks for 1.99 and you can get packs of cheap white towels on Amazon. As a previous poster said - he'll be sat there with a pile of the same cheap trunks and thin white towels round him - pissed off cos you haven't reacted. Keep records though and the receipts so if this escalates into more than swim kits - you may consider going back to.court for an addition that all items provided by a particular parent are returned. Your son will appreciate all you are trying to do to mitigate his father's actions on him.

What age is your DS? I'd be looking to get solicitors involved with a view to stopping contact he clearly doesn't want.

I think I would call into reception and pick up the swimming kit after swimming but before home time. School are a pain not getting involved and your ex is a meathead. Jeez what a palava

DD is at another school.

When I explained to him that DS was unhappy as school is crap, and everyone has left, he told me he forbid it. I then had a Solicitor's letter explaining how changing school would break the order because he would no longer be able to collect him from school and so he would seek enforcement and residency if I continued.

Crackingeggs