Child maintenance and swimming kit saga returns!

[itsveryquiet]

Link to previous thread

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He's driving me insane.

Swimming is now on the day of contact. So swimming kit goes home to dads and never gets returned. Apparently I've stolen too much from him and I owe him, so I am not allowed it back.

I've had to provide a new swimming kit every single week since Easter!!

Can ds sneak a kit from the ex. Not that he should have to of course

I like the governors idea.

All DS close friends are at another school so not sure I could make those ideas work.

Solicitor already aware. He advises against court, weighing up the cost of things.

I suggest a strongly worded letter to the school, governors if need be.

I feel your pain, ExH could stock a shop with all the stuff he has stolen from me!

Agree, another alternative might be that a close friend hangs on to it for him.

Kevin. Everything of mine that gets confiscated by exh has never been seen again by the DC.

What would happen if you said no swimming no kit? All he has to do is return all 10sets and you are good for Another term.

Would you son complaining to his dad he can’t go swimming due to no kit, achieve anything?

Neither of those things would achieve anything.

Can he not leave his stuff in the locker at the pool? He could leave the key in his school drawer and you can pick up later?

Your ex is a dickhead of unimaginable proportions. I cannot imagine why you wouldn't want to be with him.

Quite honestly, if you can afford it I’d return to court and get it written into a court order that each parent returns any items they’ve paid for. If not, bulk buy cheap trunks and towels and don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s riled you.

How often do they do swimming as my kids only do it for half a term each academic year?

Do you work that day? Are there swim helpers? Could you be a swim helper? Or a family member be one? Find out who the swim helper is every week and ask them to take the kit with them or drop it at yours etc. Otherwise I think getting a friends child to take their kit with yours because you now have to borrow clothes and a towel is a great suggestion from a pp.

I’ve been through the getting a child signed off from swimming. Legally you have no jurisdiction to prevent your ds from going unless injured/ill or signed off by a gp. I got a temp letter from the dr and a permanent one from the cardiologist.

AAaahh ok... you don't want help OP... you just need to vent... gotcha

If I was a mum at your DS's school I would very happily wrestle your dickhead of an ex for the swimming kit on your behalf.

Well done for staying calm in the face of such abusive and controlling behaviour. It may well be worth trying to escalate this to the governors of the school, especially if all you're asking is for the kit to stay on a peg over night.

Do you have a friend at school pick up who DD can give her swimming bag to at the school gate?

What a petty dickhead.

Sorry DS!

If school are being twats can you approach the swimming baths? His kit can be left there possibly at reception for you to collect?

gemini

I expect she’s got a better idea of what will work than we do.

There aren't that many weeks left of the school year. I´d just get on with it tbh. I get how annoying it is, but in the long run, this is a minor annoyance that will make little difference to you but will help ruin your ex's relationship to your son. So in the end, he loses big time.

Be careful with involving school too much. If they become aware of issues with you & exh and that it's beginning to affect your son, they may refer to SS. That's the last thing you need....

I know it's not a long term solution, but on a couple of occasions could you leave work and pop in to school after his swimming and grab his swimming kit?!

Once you've done this twice or maybe 3 times, your exh may give up asking DS for it when he collects him!

Yeah I would go back to court if you can afford it

He is being incredibly petty

I like the idea of talking to the swimming pool and seeing they will allow you to leave at their reception for you to collect

@sonjadog minor annoyance to buy a new full swim kit every week with the knowledge that it will be gone forever?

can you nip to the school on your lunch and get the kit. I woyld be making it clear to the school that the kit YOU PROVIDE needs to be kept in school or your son will no longer be able to swim. have you explai ed to your child dad has all the swim stuff you cant go?

OP says it is a few quid every week. Depending on where she is, there could be a maximum 6 weeks left of the school year. So a few quid every week for 6 weeks. Next year swimming might be on a different day, or the ex might have moved on to something else. So yes, I think in the long run, it is a fairly minor.

I get that is is annoying, absolutely. But maybe not worthy of solicitors, etc.

Keep dated notes of everything and receipts of swimming stuff you've bought. Your ds will realise what an utter dick his father has been and will appreciate what you've done to make sure he is not embarassed.

Well hell, if your shithead ex is going to keep it anyway, I'd probably tell my son to toss it himself at the end of the session. OK, not really.

I guess your only option is a visit to the thrift shops or your local bargain shop for cheap swim trunks and towels.

There are actually disposable swim trunks for sale on Amazon. A 12-pack for about $25.00 USD. I'd expect there's something similar in the UK. Of course the downside is that they're not very attractive.