Child maintenance and swimming kit saga returns!

[itsveryquiet]

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He's driving me insane.

Swimming is now on the day of contact. So swimming kit goes home to dads and never gets returned. Apparently I've stolen too much from him and I owe him, so I am not allowed it back.

I've had to provide a new swimming kit every single week since Easter!!

I do work and DS attends clubs on my days so contact with school is limited.

I've tried to get him to "forget" it, but exh sends him back in for it ffs.

What an arse.

Could you sneakily make an arrangement with the parent of one of DS's best friends? That after swimming DS slips his kit to his friend who skips off home with both kits before your twat Ex is aware? Friend's mum could then bring kit back in next morning or you could collect it from hers. Just an idea if you know a friendly parent who would be up for it.

X post. Your ds leaves his kit at school and brings it home the next day
Or
Your ds leaves his bag at reception and you collect.
If school won't cooperate then he can't swim. You can't keep paying for more kits.

The only other way to play this is to pretend you're not bothered. Buy a load of cheap towels and trunks and just write it off. He's clearly playing a stupid little game to piss you off, pretend it's not working.

Option 1: ask DS to just leave him swimming kit at school at the end of the day.

Option 2: since it's his contact day ask the school to ring his dad to bring it in. Even if they ring you first just tell them it's with hom his number is 0794xxxxx

Option 3: if at all possible pop in after swimming and retrieve kit.

Option 4: if no contact order,inform ex he does not have DS on that day anymore.

Eric. I haven't yet told him I'm pissed off. I've kept contact to a minimum, knowing how much he loves it.

I’d just not send kit into school. If school have a problem with your child missing swimming due to having no kit then maybe they can take some bloody responsibility and keep them kit at school in a safe place until you next do pick up.

If he is alleging you are a thief, then perhaps he should go to court to get the order amended, if there is one. Or you should at least to get the contact day changed.

They don't kick off with me, they tell DS off and make him wear shitty spares, which makes him feel like crap.

Things change so much, I can't really justify paying to return to court to change the day; it might change back again next term.

Fuck that. I would not be sending in anymore kit and I’d be making an appointment to see his teacher/HOY/headmaster/mistress.

Tried that. He has school wrapped around his little finger, getting special treatment for everything as he's told them all sorts of crap about me!

Bloody h. Shall we all send you old swim kits, towels etc and your ex can carry on playing his games and it won't matter to you?

Could you borrow swimming kit from a friend next week and have DS return it to the friend's parent straight after school, or before they leave the classroom? Might embarass your Ex enough to return some of DS's stuff.

You are kidding me! What a dick!
Surely there must be a clause in the contact agreement that specifies he has to be reasonable.
I’d go back to court. Not for the few pounds you spend on trunks, but for how your DS is affected by his dad’s actions.

You know my dad played silly buggers with stuff like this when my parents divorced 30 years ago. We actually ended up homeless for a while. I'm now in my 40's with kids of my own and I have no real relationship with him. He showed me how much he cared for me 30 years ago and I feel nothing for him now. He doesn't seem to care. Your ex will reap what he sows.

I would LOVE the word reasonable to be in our court order!!!

Too right Wuthering! DD has already gone NC.

Right in that case I think you don't send more kits in. You inform school in writing why. I would be tempted to copy in your solicitor if you have one.
I've got to say school are being really petty here too. Any school worth their salt would remain neutral at least on the face of it in their behaviour with parents and come up with help in such a minor arrangement like this.
School are basically allowing what seems to be an abusive man to continue to abuse

I think I would probably complain to the governors at this point based on what you have written.

Is there anywhere your dc could leave his kit and pretend he forgot it?

Like peg outside class, a peg in the boys changing room, even down the side of a cabinet, so that he can claim he mislaid it and just pick it up next time he's going home to you?

It is ridiculous that he can do this and be enabled by the school. You must be so frustrated, at least he is making sure your ds will drop him like a hit brick as soon as he's able to.

I like the idea of having Ds lend a kit from a friend and that friend take it home. That could work.
When Ex sends him back in for it, Ds can be honest and say I don't have a kit, they are all at your house, I had to borrow one.
What a dick.

But yes if you have any friends with dc in that class then simply arrange for your ds to put his kit into that child's bag.

As someone who has worked in school and nurseries with abusive parents I'm astounding how twatty the school is being.

I would telling that sorry excuse for a father that if he keeps your property again you'll be reporting him for theft, then I would do just that. Either that or tell the school that your pulling DS from swim lessons if they don't agree to keep hold of the kit. What an utter utter cunt. Don't suppose you have any mum friends at the school that could take it off your Ds for you to collect from later? I'd happily do that for another parent.

Can you get DS to say to his wanker father ‘I borrowed a swimsuit today so I can’t bring it out’. Then bring it home to you the next day?