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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To “make” my kids be vegan?

315 replies

Sarcy · 07/05/2018 11:03

About 3 years ago I decided to become vegan, my two youngest are being brought up vegan. Whilst my 4 older kids made the decision for themselves. One of them decided about a year ago that he didn’t want to be vegan anymore, at friend’s houses or when he’s out with friends he’ll eat meat but at home I don’t let him. I’ve had a lot of people tell me I’m wrong for “forcing” my kids into this or not letting them backout easily. This isn’t the case but I made sure DS had truly thought about it before deciding not to be vegan. I’m just trying to understand what makes people think it’s wrong to raise children on a vegan diet, surly giving your children meat is much worse

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 07/05/2018 11:05

Oh this isn't goady at all, is it? Hmm

Do what you want, but I can't say I envy your kids.

Soubriquet · 07/05/2018 11:07

You choose what you want to eat

Your children should be allowed to choose what they want to it.

SneakyGremlins · 07/05/2018 11:07

Your kids will hate you for it.

HTH Smile

Sirzy · 07/05/2018 11:08

If he doesn’t want to be vegan then that should be his choice and you should respect that.

Sparklingbrook · 07/05/2018 11:08

How old are the DC?

I think they should eat what they want.

PrincessHairyMclary · 07/05/2018 11:08

I sort of view it the same way I view religion, parents are free to bring their child up the way they want but should allow their child to make their own decisions as they grow older.

Providing your children are getting all the nutrients that they need then I think it's fair enough if you don't want to buy or cook meat and if your DC want to eat it then they need to buy it and cook it themselves.

Elementtree · 07/05/2018 11:09

There are lots of reasons why people choose a vegan diet. I'm not clear why this is important to you, what do you mean you told your son to 'truly' think about it?

Iamclearlyamug · 07/05/2018 11:09

how is giving children meat wrong? we have canine teeth for a reason. I always source local meat where possible, and always buy free range eggs. Everyone has an opinion, but it always does seem to be vegans telling us we're wrong, rather than the other way round. be vegan if you want, crack on - but don't try to tell others we're wrong for feeding our children meat! we're not!

steff13 · 07/05/2018 11:09

I wouldn't purchase or prepare meat if I didn't eat it myself. But if he wanted to to do it, I wouldn't stop him.

EnglandKeepMyBones · 07/05/2018 11:09

Raising your children as vegan is your choice.

Forcing them to be vegan when they have decided they don't want to is fucking appalling.

Storm4star · 07/05/2018 11:09

Is it one of the younger two or the older four? If it’s one of the older four, you gave them the choice so you can’t really say that now they don’t have a choice. If it’s one of the younger two, equally you can’t give 4 out of 6 a choice and make the other two comply.

Also, are any of them (other than this one) still meat eaters? And do you make meat for them? If so, you can’t single this one out. But, if you only ever cook vegan meals at home, then no you can’t suddenly start cooking a different dish for just one person. So it really depends on those factors.

MrsMozart · 07/05/2018 11:09

Being vegan is from a conviction about the use, including eating, of animals.

It's something that is up to each individual to decide on.

RoughPatchMum · 07/05/2018 11:09

I am a vegetarian and have been for more than 16 years now since I was a teenager. My DH isn’t one and we are not bringing up DS as one. I think it’s fair enough to say you won’t cook meat etc at home but if your older DS wants to cook it for himself (assuming he’s old enough to cook) then you should let him. I had a lot of part time jobs in kitchens as a student so I’m not precious about handling meat personally.

Incarnationsofunderstanding · 07/05/2018 11:10

How old are the youngest? And how good are you at replacing all the nutrients they will be missing? And not with synthetic chemical alternatives?

Other than that it's your choice and you are allowing them theirs as they get older so fair game.

TabbyTigger · 07/05/2018 11:10

I am vegan and cool vegan meals on the evenings that I cook for my family. On the evenings that I don’t DH cooks whatever he wants - if it’s not vegan I’ll just have a snack alternative. DD2(12) is now also vegan so does the same thing, and DD1(14) is vegetarian so DH now only cooks meat/fish once a week anyway, but I would never force my younger children to be vegan. I buy them yoghurt covered raisins for packed lunches because they like them, and I buy normal ice cream as well as vegan ice cream. I don’t force my decision on the entire family because I don’t think that’s fair.

bluerunningshoes · 07/05/2018 11:11

I’m just trying to understand what makes people think it’s wrong to raise children on a vegan diet

nothing wrong just don't be sanctimonious about it however your dc do not want to be vegan anymore. it's fine. they have to make their own way through life at some point.

but it's also find for you not to allow non vegan foods in your home.

imo, a diet that's not possible without supplements or massively processed fortified foods is not a healthy diet...

RavenLG · 07/05/2018 11:11

If the DC is old enough to make an inform e decision then you need to respect that.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 07/05/2018 11:11

Not eating meat is one thing but being vegan is a whole new ball game.I think your compromise is OK but are your older children OK with this at home?
I have no problem with you being vegan or bringing your kids up that way it demands a lot of creative thinking and dedication especially with growing children's nutritional needs so I admire you for that.

Confusedbeetle · 07/05/2018 11:11

A vegan diet is dangerous for children. Many nutritionist and paediatricians are warning against it. Technically you would think it was possible but in practice, many do not get a broad enough spectrum of nutrients. It isn't really just a case of meat or no meat. Veganism is much more restrictive. But you won't agree with this so why post?

Elementtree · 07/05/2018 11:12

Being vegan is from a conviction about the use, including eating, of animals.

Sometimes it's about environmental sustainability and sometimes it's because of health concerns around meat eating and it's correlation with illness.

MissCharleyP · 07/05/2018 11:13

There is absolutely nothing wrong with eating meat. For a start it’s the ONLY source of full BCAAs, its very difficult to get enough protein from a meat-free diet as well. Many vegan meals/foods are high in fat and carbs. It’s not a choice as you’re ‘not letting’ (your words) him eat meat at home and you aren’t giving your youngest two a choice at all! I think it’s fine if you discuss it with children and let them decide, but you’re not doing this. Many people I’ve known on vegetarian/vegan diets have to take supplements as there are certain vitamins etc that are only available from meat and they eat meat substitutes (soya, tofu) that look very unnatural and taste worse!

Debfronut · 07/05/2018 11:14

Not sure if this is a reverse or if you really are such a terribly controlling person you cannot fathom how wrong you are? This is like religion. Nobody should be forced to worship and nobody should be forced to eat a certain way. Basic family values are fine and you are within your rights not to cook things you do not want to but what they eat outside the home is up to them. Controlling them will not end well and over 32 years of being a parent and step parent I can tell you they will just lie to you anyway. If that's the sort of relationship you want its up to you. BTW I am a vegan but the rest of my family are not. It's perfectly possible to live in harmony and keep your thoughts to yourself.

AhoyDelBoy · 07/05/2018 11:15

I think this is the wrong place to post about this. All but two possibly three of the comments you've received already are complete bullshit. I really can't see you getting any constructive advice at all.

Oldbutstillgotit · 07/05/2018 11:15

If this is real you are in for a lot of grief. I stopped eating beef, lamb and pork in my teens - had never really enjoyed - but my DM never accepted it. She insisted on always cooking a roast or stew or steak when I was there. I eat fish and poultry so there were plenty of options but she insisted I should eat red meat. As I got older she wondered why I didn’t go for meals often...

Birdsgottafly · 07/05/2018 11:15

I'm Vegan, wouldn't dream of forcing my children or GC to be. I even cooked those hideous hot dogs for my GD, who would live off them if she could.

Although its easier to eat a Vegan diet, than most people realise, it is going to exclude them.

I had other nonnegotiable 'rules', such as, no food waste, cutting down on packaged stuff, using bags for life. Better quality, less clothes. Recycle what we could etc.

I don't believe in making food a battle and your children are their own people and don't have to have the exact same principals as yourself, to the exact same degree.

You bring up meat, but there's a whole level of stuff that being a Vegan excludes, for a child.